Sorry very long! Inclusion officer visiting preschool tomorrow to watch my ds2

[MamaMaiasaura]

I had a long thread in preschool section regarding my ds but am posting here because the term gifted has been mentioned to me by hv and inclusion officer when discussing ds. They have made it clear they can't diagnose ds2 and he's very young. What the inclusion officer and preschool are hinting is that they will want to focus on social skills for him to enable him to be more rounded.

My question here is, has anyone been through this and do you think it likely the school when he starts would have the knowledge to help him. Also is this typical of a bright child?

-he's just turned 4
-he gets "into" subjects. Current is space as when dh was on paternity leave he took him to planetarium. That was 10 weeks ago. Ds can reliably name all planets of solar system, order them including asteroid belt, kuiper belt. Name moons belonging to mars, Jupiter, Venus, Neptune, uranus and Pluto. Can describe what each planet is like eg stormy, cold, gas giant. Also their atmospheres. He knows a man called Galileo discovered jupiters moons and that we orbited sun and that he was told he was a heretic (dh read him story out of space book). He also knows about black holes, nueculi (sp), quazars, big bang, galaxies and types and names, I could go on and on.
-he knows all phonics, alphabet, lower and uppercase and can order them
-can count reliably up to 100 and started goog further
-can add simple numbers
-can read cvc
-has amazing memory and recites books, programmes etc
-known colours and mixes for ages

• he was slow to talk and isn't always clear although wide vocabulary
• finds change of routine hard
• scared of hand dryers/hairdressers
• wont let drs examine him or dentist check teeth, can get hysterical although he's once let a very good dr check his throat

-he's got some good friends and plays with them, he also plays with hos big brother -got very funny sense of humour and is a smiley happy cheeky boy

• very affectionate and interested in everything
• good physical skills, running, jumping and fearless.
• cant/won't ride his bike
• he likes tracing numbers and letters but doesn't have confidence to do them without tracing.
• he can't hold pen properly and I think he's left handed
• very very good on computer with mouse control
• amazing on iPhone and plays aqueduct (problem solving) at a high level

-sleeps well

• eats well

Any advice would be appreciated :)

have they mentioned anything else thay are concerned about. dd as referred at nursery (age 3) for physical difficulties and they sent me a big pack on autism before she was assessed and they ruled it out.

whatever they are assessing for it is good to have some assessment done.

Some of their issues are:

-running from actuary to activity
-not wanting to do circle time for whole time
-not wanting them to sing
-running to garden
-hiding under table
-when running to hide trampling whatever or whomever on way

Have you looked into the symptoms of dyspraxia? My son's the same as yours, he's very, very bright but had the same issues when he was younger (he's 12 now). He's yet to be diagnosed but the symptoms fit. He has an appointment with the community paediatrician on Tuesday. Hope this helps.

Haven't looked into dyspraxia but will read up on it. What implications has your ds had?

Some symptoms fit but not all.
Ds was quick to crawl and walk
Like playing with Lego, playmobil etc
Has friends at preschool
Likes tracing letters and numbers and dies dot to dot
Can draw a person face
Whilst fearless is also adept, very good at climbing
Doesn't flap arms when running and is very fast
Can sit still if interested in what's happening

Sounds very like my DS was at 4, except that he didn't decide he wanted to learn to read until he was 5. But the obsessions, and acquiring huge amounts of detailed knowlege about them (with DS it was trains and snakes, among other things), advanced skills with numbers/colours etc are very familiar, as well as the problems with motor skills and unclear speech, hysterical reactions to things like dentists (also haircuts, or even my attempts to cut his toenails) and other sensory things like loud noises (including hand-driers).

We were lucky in that we weren't in the UK when he was that age, so he didn't have to start formal school a few weeks after he turned four (August birthday) which meant that he was still at a play-based kindergarten, and it didn't matter that he would only sit down and concentrate on things when he was interested. When he started school a year later he was much more ready to learn, and was at a school with very high teacher/pupil ratio and lots of differentiation and individual working.

He is now 13 and has never been formally diagnosed, but I am sure he is mildly dyspraxic. The only problems it causes now are dreadful handwriting and lack of skill at some physical things - he still can't ride a bike (though to be fair hasn't tried for quite a while) and wasn't much cop at rugby or other ball/team sports (has given up now). The sensory issues have all faded into the background. He is also doing very well academically, and is on the G&T scheme at school (selective boys' school).

I wouldn't be too worried about any of the things you have mentioned, but it sounds like a combination of high intelligence and dyspraxia are a distinct possibility. If an assessment finds dyspraxia, then any help he can get with motor/sensory issues would be great - if I'd been able to access that kind of thing when DS was little it would have been great.

I guess they also want to rule out anything more serious like ADHD or ASD, but it doesn't sound to me (no expert, though) as if he has any serious issues like that.

BTW DS also sat up/crawled/walk relatively early - sat up unsupported at 4 months, walked at just under 12 months - and loved playing with Lego, but did struggle with pencil-grip, buttons, cutlery and that sort of thing. I don't think you have to tick absolutely every box for dyspraxia to be a possible diagnosis - there are lots of variations on a theme.

Re the hand-dryers in particular, it's probably worth googling Dabrowski's Overexcitabilities (and you'll get a much better explanation than I can ever give on a Friday afternoon!). This may also be a fit with some of his physicalities too.

Thanks, I'll look it up. Just feel out of my depth and want him to be happy

Just speed read dabrowski link and so much like ds except a good sleeper.

Ds didn't crawl, he was walking at 10 months. He could recognise all of the letters of the alphabet out of sequence at 12 months as well as count to 10, basic shapes, basic colours. He'd spend more time with the staff at nursery then playing because he wanted to talk to them.

You are describing my DS1. He was exactly like that, mentally and physically. He didn't walk until 21 months but was obsessed with numbers and the alphabet from an early age. He had huge issues with routine, going in other people's cars, going to parties, loud noises, disruption, etc. When he was at preschool he had one-to-one help with his social issues and thanks to a brilliant nursery worker who took him on as her project he came along in leaps and bounds in that area. He was assessed by the local SEN and she said he acted like a mini-grown up and needed to be reminded that he was a child. When he was in reception his teachers wanted him to go up a year, we said no as socially he was behind. He's now a happy eight year old with a good circle of friends and on the G&T for numeracy. He's also left-handed for what that's worth (but then so am I!)

Ds is like a little adult. He gets on far better with adults then children his own age. I imagine school's really hard for him.

My DS1 found school very hard at first. He could not understand why some children would act they way they did, and he didn't understand why they didn't want to listen in class (he still doesn't really get that and gets quite cross about the other children being disruptive). He gets very attached to people too and can't understand the fickleness of childhood friendships. He gets quite upset when a 'friend' moves on to someone else.

Ah, I recognise that Becky. I have a lot of conversations with ds about fickle friends and why people behave the way they do. He's a lovely boy, wants to help and be kind and can't understand why others are mean. He's 12 and still finds this hard.

Waiting on copy of report but had word with inclusion officer when I collected ds. She's recommended referral to SALT and that preschool do activities with him and 2-3 other children as she said from her observations he plays alongside other children but not with. She said he seemed happy which is most important to me.

Your first description in the OP (not your second one about circle time etc) is almost word for word what I would have written about ds at that age.
Incredibly similar.

I can't obviously promise this is how it will be for you, but he is now three years older and more sociable and chilled than I'd have ever imagined when he was four.

I think some of it has just come with age, and some of it with confidence and also other children becoming chattier and more predictable (he didn't like the craziness of most toddlers - I know that's all normal but it wasn't something he enjoyed).

And boy is he chatty....never shuts up.

HTH although not sure it does really.

I too have just speed read the Dabrowski's link and it describes my dc.
We withdrew our dc from school and have been temporarily HE. She has blossomed over the 12 months we have been doing this, but we are about to reintegrate back into the system. I am crapping myself to be honest.