SN or just a bit ahead of her peers? Behavioural Q's.

[FriggFRIGG]

Hello,DD is 3.5, she is due to start school in September and we are currently waiting for an appointment with a paediatric behavioural specialist.

I have a thread in the SN section and they have been wonderfully lovely and incredibly helpful.

To cut a long story short,she has always hit milestones early,but seems to have some behavioural and sensory problems,but is much better in a very structured environment- she thrives at pre-school.

I'm just here to ask whether any of your DC displayed problems like this at pre-school age?

I am under no false illusions that she is some kind of genius and I am well aware her peers will likely catch up to her soon,however in the meantime it would be interesting to know if she might be displaying these behaviours out of frustration or boredom.

I don't know much about this as DD's only had this mildly, but from reading around the overlap with sensory problems and giftedness in particular is huuuuge. And also some behavioural problems, but it would depend what they are. Can you say a bit more about them?

Best bet is to take yourself off to the NAGC (national assn for gifted children) website where they have a multitude of factsheets on this kind of thing which you don't have to be a member to see. They should help a lot, also Googling "Dabrowski's Overexcitabilities" for the sensory stuff.

Thankyou,

It is interesting t know there can be a link.

Her behaviour:
She is very over active,she NEVER stops moving or talking.
She is sensitive to light and dark
But doesn't have a clue when she is cold or hot-she will play in the garden in pjs,barefoot in the icy cold,until I drag her in.
She self harms-bites,hits,squeezes her hand,when frustrated.
She cannot abide being unable to do something,goes into a complete fury if she cannot,for example tie her own shoelaces into a bow.
She can't wait for anything,screams blue murder,hits herself,lashes out at her brother- we have NEVER pandered to this BTW.

There's more,but that will do for now!

Definitely google over-excitabilities, I think you'll find that very useful. Perfectionism is also a common trait alongside giftedness too.

While I am not a huge fan of intelligence tests generally, I think in your case it could be very useful to know one way or the other. This is something worth asking the behaviour specialist for (can't hurt to ask!).

Failing which, if it were me there, I think I'd try to teach her something (anything) and see if that helps with the frustration. Again, at least then you'd have a clue as to what it might be.

Thankyou again,I'm also not a big fan of IQ test especially for littley's,but it could be useful to know,one way or the other.

When I dropped her at pre school today,one of the teachers remarked that she was " a little sponge" that what ever she was told,stuck.
It's true,in terms of information,her memory is terrifyingly good.

But she never seems to remember that hot things burn,or to sit still at the table ( by 'still' I mean on a chair,not rolling around on the floor) or that No,means No,and we WILL follow through with punishment.

She is always sorry for her actions when she has misbehaved,but unfortunately it seems that she cant control herself.

Off to google.

That is very interesting. A lot of her 'traits' are listed there.
I will look into it a bit ,more and perhaps mention it to the child behavioural specialist when we get to see them.

Hmmm dd1 is like this, but it never struck me that it wasn't normal behaviour. I just thought it is part of her character. Saying that, dd2 is very different.

Dd1 though did have a very tricky time during her 3s and 4s, she was just like you describe. However, she has relaxed a bit now (she is 6).

That is wonderful to hear

As I said,there is obviously more,I have gone into greater detail on the SN thread.
I really do hope she 'outgrows' whatever this is. But she really is not like other children her age.

I am not saying she is completely relaxed - today she had a meltdown about putting school uniform on before drinking her morning hot chocolate. Yesterday she did because I opened the blind too abruptly (with you on the light sensitivity)

But she is very bright, and imaginative, and like your dd her memory remains brilliant (v useful - she knows where I have put everything!). I know she is quick and stubborn and sure of herself and strongly strongly independent. But I like these traits, they are her and they will stand her in good stead if she has the right guidance from us. Sometimes I wish I had her willpower!

But overall she is better... We don't have complete meltdowns about leaving the house, I don't usually have to dread trying to extract her from a situation she enjoys (say leaving a playmate)

She did love nursery and is really enjoying p2 (we are in Scotland). P1 was a bit more difficult but we moved school (we were moving areas) and luckily the more relaxed environment and her stupendous teacher in p2 has made all the difference. She is doing really well and making friends.

She is not into sympathy yet - if I stub my toe she will ignore me whereas dd2 (age 2.5) will come running and smother me with kisses!

I don't think she's displaying some of those out of frustration linked to her brains. More like she's coping well with something else (something bigger, that would benefit being addressed), precisely because of her brains. She would have more obvious issues if she didn't have her sharp mind to help her out, I mean. So she is quite lucky, really. I'm sure you'll both muddle thru reasonably well in the long run.

That's interesting Ragged I never thought of it that way....makes sense.

Hopefully the paed' will be able to help.

Listen to the specialists hopefully they will be able to help.

Yes, I would also say listen to the professionals, and read all you can around the subject (google any term you don't fully understand!!).

Since you ask on the G&T thread, I would also say look at the NAGC website (the UK organisation) as there is a lot of wonderful information there.

My DD1 (aged 7) was a little bit like your DD - just a very different child, very intense and very bright. I didn't worry about it until school flagged up a problem with her behaviour, so we did comprehensive testing over several months. It was hugely illuminating and at times completely surprising - the more they tested, the more we understood about DD and which areas she struggles with, and where her strengths lie (yep, she turned out to be definitely very bright, which does explain how she compensates for her weaknesses). It was at times incredibly stressful, but I cannot stress how important it was to find those answers.

Good luck with the journey! :)