Not sure whether to post here or in special needs... (essay, sorry!)

[FrostyTheCrunchyFrog]

DS1 has high functioning autism. A friend who happens to be a SENCO has recently done some maths work with him. He's 6, in Year 1 and apparently at least 2 years ahead in terms of numeracy.

My quandary is:

Would I BU to ask his teacher to differentiate the work? At the moment the whole class are doing the same thing, and she seemed delighted at parents' evening to announce that he could count to 20 forwards and backwards. His ASD causes him to be extremely passive, he'll never volunteer that he knows something.

Will that make me look like a pushy parent? I spend enough time in there trying to get them to support his personal care/ social needs (he doesn't have a TA, no statement.) I don't want to look like I think he's super special in some way, as I really don't. I know there are 32 kids in there, and they all deserve equal attention.

Would it be letting him down to not push it - the chances are he'll be OK for a year or two of coasting, he loves numbers, doesn't give a damn if it's 1-10 or doing multiplication - he loves it all. He's 6, he's a baby - should I be concentrating on his social/ personal care/ speech issues?

I was informed (from pre-dx testing) that he is probably top 2% in terms of IQ - those tests were performed when he was 4, basically not verbal, and Mr Wriggly Pants, so not co-operative, possibly inaccurate.

(Just so as not to drip feed - I'm a teacher, but all my experience is in secondary, and with children with PMLD, so a bit different - very small classes.)

TIA for any input

Depends how happy he is . If he likes what he is doing why change it ? If however he is finishing the work and wants some more then that should be offered to him and here you may have to be his voice as he may not have the courage to ask. Is he good at communicating what he would like to you?

Not especially! He doesn't really report any kind of discomfort, even boredom. In fact, I'm not sure if he actually gets bored at all ever, (even when counting the effing top trumps cards for the 4839204th time)

He's always pleased to have new worksheets/ workbooks, he's still at the stage where it's all fun - I'd like to keep that going as long as humanly possible. I think he'll need challenge to keep it fun.

does she know that his asd makes him extremely passive? can you raise this when you go for a meeting to review his iep? (explaining the implications)

Minor hiccough there in that she doesn't "believe" that he has ASD

Apparently he's just "odd." Oh, and "quirky."

His IEP is mainly about getting him to speak to adults - e.g. to ask to use the toilet, and his phonological difficulties. Doesn't actually mention numeracy. I think I might need to pop into school after Xmas and Have A Word. WOE.

if she does not believe he has asd, who has diagnosed it and why isn't their word good enough?

I think you know you should mention it then .
If it will help him enjoy school then that's great.

Blackeyedsanta the usual people - team of Paed, OT, SALT and SW, using the ADOS protocol. 2 years ago.

He is at the mild end, and the maddest bits of behaviour have settled (e.g, he sleeps now, thank fuck). For some reason, a lot of people think it's better somehow to be considered "odd" than to have autism.

I personally know many, many teachers who genuinely believe that there is a "fashion" for DXing bad behaviour, and unfortunately, that is the case here. Especially since in common with many children with HFA, he never acts out at school. Oh no, saves it all for home, the git darling.

I don't know if she thinks I'm lying or exaggerating or deluded... hence fear of looking like a pushy parent!

ds1 is 'odd'. and 'quirky'.

however, dd2 has cp and tested in the vs range on the wisc iv as well. she was statemented for her cp, but also had two ieps running - at both ends of the scale - one for her physical issues/ speech and comms, but also one for her 'gifted' stuff.

you do need to make sure that school have the results of the wisc, but you know that. and start the discussion with how pleased and releived you are. and then ask if it's possible to discuss how he can be encouraged to challenge himself a little. or whether it is worth another iep be drawn up to ensure his abilities are not hidden during class.

ds1 is completely withdrawn at school. just zones out. if he threw a hissy, they'd want him dx in no time.

riiight these people would be less qualified to know than the teacher then?

I will join you in the exagerated /deluded/pushy parent camp (and also have a little bugger darling who saves it all for home, though the teacher had to have a "little word" at the end of nursery today. not sure what is going on with him though a violent breakup from his dad probably did not help. at least i do the exagerating/deluded at one school and the pushy at another.

I have also got a very good little reader who is not so bad at other stuff but we are not going there with school yet who also has an iep for hypermobility which will affect her all through school.