gifted 3 year old - how to get him in school at 3-4

[ukjalady]

My son is clearly gifted - I am not going to bore you with his achievements to date - but having read up on it - I realize he is waaaay above average - probably gifted stage 4-5 according to mensa.

but as he is born in Oct, he wont get a school place until Sept 2013.

I went to visit a school this morning at their open day and I was rather stunned at the basic things being taught to the reception class - things my son at before age 3 already knew.

i really think he will be ready to start school next year when he will be 3 then turn 4. He will be with kids who are academically his peers; instead of waiting a year then being 4 and turning 5, and so much more advanced than the rest of his class.

i would anticipate that if he is not accelerated early- he will turn out to be a very disruptive force for any teacher as he has a high level of energy combined with his focus.

combined with this, as both his parents are 'large people' he is already looking like a 4-5 year old, not fat, just tall. His friend next door is 7 months older and only comes up to his shoulder. I could easily have seen him in that classroom today, and no one would have been the wiser that he has just turned 3.

Does anyone have any background in this or can offer me some advice based on experience with how best to get my son accelerated at such a young age?

Everyone I have talked to - including schools - have told me unless i get him privately educated - hehhehheh not gonna happen - I am stuck with the current govt rules.

all comments and advice appreciated,

cheers all,

Montessori might be good for him, as others have pointed out. Some kids leaving Montessori are reading/writing.

We always hear the argument on MN about social devlopment, but can't see why it should be such a problem, given that he will be 3 years and 10 months when he starts alongside the summer borns who are just 4. The range of social development in a reception class is probably just as wide as the academic range.

However, starting him early causes problems later, with moving to the next school, feeling embarrassed when/if the others catch up academically and he has to do a year twice, sports teams and school trips, where he has to be the "right" age for insurance etc.

It is also not true that "all schools differentiate". They should and most of them say they do, but in practice, many don't.

he could probably learn a lot more in a year at home with you than by going to school full time. dd was so tired going to nursery to start that she hardly did any learning due to exhaustion during the first half term. academically, learning stalled in reception too as she was summer born and again the long days of behaving were exhausting for her. she came on enormously socially though in that time. during the summer holidays, she came on academially in leaps and bounds. school isnot always the best place for learning when they are very little as they get so tired and there are a lot of expectations on behaviour.

You won't be able to get him into school before he is four and if you want him to start his school career early you will have to pay for a nursery in an independent/private school.

My dd is exceptionally bright but we are just letting her get on with things her own way and the teacher is teaching her appropriately. Kids grow up so fast. Don't rush it.

i wouldn't send my kids to school early. my sister was in the year above at school due to her academic ability but she didn't start school early, there was just no need. it's too formal for 3/4yr olds, no matter how gifted.
is he in nursery yet? what do they advise? if he's coping fine and happy as he is then leave him to it.

my ds is bigger than kids his age, he's one of the youngest in his year and one of the biggest. makes no difference, people will just think he's a bit older than he is.

unless he is seriously bored and his needs aren't being met in his current situation then what's the rush? deal with it when he starts school in 2013.

I think it is very unlikely you will get any state school to accept him a year early. TBH I think you will find it very hard to get even an independent school to take him this early. Yes, some do put childrne up a year - but not generally til they have been in the school for a while.

Reception is about a lot more than academia. He will learn all manner of social skills and more. At just 3y he may well not be emotionally ready for school life.

Not all bright children are disruptive in school. Many are not. Boredom is not an excuse for poor behaviour or causing disruption. Work on this area too.

DS2 is 15, and doing a recent series of psychometric type tests was placed in the top 0.1% for verbal and numerical reasoning. I reckon that's pretty gifted.

He has never had any special tuition, nor any hothousing, beyond exposure to normal out of school opportunities. A few days ago he said (without me prodding for it) that he was so glad that DH and I had brought him up without "forcing him to be a genius".

Let your son have a normal childhood. Some of the saddest "geniuses" seem to be those who are pressurised by a parent to achieve without any reference to development of social skills. Those children who go to Oxbridge at 13, or are chess champions at a similar age come to mind.

What exactly do you want for your son, OP?

I for one would love for you to bore us with his achievements to date, OP

did anyone find out what mensa gifted stage 4-5 is yet?
i can't be bothered to look myself, but thought it might have come up... i see the op hasn't been back though.

madwoman i think that could be the deborah ruf levels of giftedness.

www.nagcbritain.org.uk/parents.php?id=96

oo, ta, will have a look see.

oh, ok. i think i have seen that before. been a while since i poked around nagc. so has the op's child actually been assessed then? i didn't see any evidence of it in the op, just that she had visited a school and been a bit shocked by the eyfs? (i'd pick a nice easy topic for open day, too )

formal recognition of 'giftedness' of those scales really does need definitive and specialised testing though, rather than just saying 'if that's what the yr r kids can do, mine can do that already'... and beyond 140 it does get trickier as the tests aren't always partic. definitive, esp when the kids are little. there's lots of that stuff on hoagies, too, isn't there? for the more able, able kids iyswim?

i do forget where dd2 actually is, until i read this stuff again!

If he's so gifted, I'd have thought you'd have private schools snapping your hands off to give you a bursary to attend their school (assuming that you'd qualify for financial help).

yes i know what you mean madwoman,i look at these things too and can't quite get to grips with the fact that thats dd.

no-one's biting my hands off, sue.

it makes me laugh a bit, mrss. maybe a flashing neon sign would help the memory? she still loses her ballet shoes every week, gifted or not. drives me mad. it really doesn't make that much difference to our lives tbh. i do wonder sometimes whether i should be doing more. parental guilt kicking in again.

I think private school is the best option for any gifted child as the teaching is adapted to each individual - that's my experience anyway.

So tempting to take the piss.

yy sue. i think mostly we just hope for that in the state system though. until someone comes along with an open wallet, anyway.

My cat can play the piano. Are there any grants available to support him?

There are bursaries - have you looked into that?

Why can't he just go to a decent preschool? If only the whole of school could be like preschool - he can just get on with learning at his own pace, AND make friends, AND go to school in pyjamas on Bedtime Stories day. Give them a wodge of books at his level if you think their book stock is a bit basic for him. What's he going to disrupt at his age? IMO the boredom/disruption bit is more likely to happen in Year 2 or thereabouts and quite frankly most year 2 teachers deal with it every year and do a really amazing amount of differentiation. I wouldn't borrow trouble as he will probably be fine, and I wouldn't put him into school early - why would he learn more in a formal Year 1 setting when you've all got to sit together and listen than in the paddle-your-own-canoe joy of preschool?

Sue: bursaries for cats that play piano?

Haven't read the whole thread, but my DS is also very bright. I was advised of this by his kindergarten at age 2.5, but we already thought he was different to most children of his age. The advice we received was to keep him in the correct year group for his age, but to pick a school where he would be stimulated and encouraged.

He is now in Year 4, mixes brilliantly with all his classsmates and is given Year 6/7 work, while others in his class do Year 4/5 work.

I think you shouldn't try to involve him in a different year group, and don't think you should try to set him apart from the others as much as possible, as this can lead to problems. I would make sure you choose a good school; talk to the staff and make sure you're happy and then just let him go to school at the normal age. I'm sure he'll thank you for it in years to come.

I think having a happy and well-balanced child, who fits in with other children is just as important as doing well academically.