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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

Original poster

school has surprised me!

427 replies

blackeyedsusan · 08/11/2011 13:38

last week I asked for harder words to read... one (or more) groups have been given spellings!

I also asked for more challenging books as the yellow band books were a "little easy." given that we are reading easy chapter books at home they have put her up one band. I am shocked as we normally play a little game every couple of months where I say the books arer too easy and they ignore me and we carry on doing our own thing in our own happy way. once pmt has passed Grin

ok so she could spell the words first time at home and green band is not a big leap, but i do not know whether she will cope with spelling in a test and at least the green band books are a little harder and we can get something out of it now. she has been asked to practice adding numbers in the teens as she doesn't use the number line to count on. (tends to do these things in her head) well we have practised and introduced a strategy of using number bonds of single digit numbers to check teens+ addition (ie if 2 and 4 =6 then 12+4=16 and 22+4=26 etc) doubt that will go down well! Grin I hope she talks about her strategy at school.

I think I want to push for more, but not until she has had time to try out/prove herself for another month or so. (after all she might go to pieces under test conditions and we have a lot of work to do on handwriting) anyone fancy sitting on me and administering the duct tape for the next month?

(disclaimer, i know she is not doing some of the stuff other really bright children do at this age, though she is the top end of normal and I post mainly because i as fed up of the lack of progress ith reading in school compared to home)

ps, sorry about the lack of capitals, intermittent shift key!

OP posts:
Iamnotminterested · 28/11/2011 13:36

santa - DD2 year 3, Feb birthday.

simpson · 28/11/2011 13:43

DS is the youngest in yr2

I also have DD(3) who is in the nursery attached to DS's school who I have been told is "highly academic" (although not sure how academic a 3yr old can be!!! TBH I actually think she is brighter than DS but will lack his "drive" iyswim)

We only read DS's school book once this week Blush I suspect it will be changed today. So he will read with teacher, hope it goes ok.

I also did not test DS very much on his spelling this week. Usually spelling are from mon and test is fri but last wk we did not get them till wed and test is today. Today was the 2nd time I have asked him to write them out (first time was wed eve) and he got them all right He is has yet to get a word wrong in a spelling test since beginning of yr2.

mrsshears · 28/11/2011 14:27

hi everyone
susan for your stats dd is a june birthday in y1

iggly2 · 28/11/2011 15:26

It's rather good having those details it means hopefully when we need advice we know whos been there first (sorry Joyn guess we'll be asking you lots of questionsGrin). Seems friendlier as well (esp as most are here as we can't say that much in RL-though occ I do have stupid blurt out moments).

onesandwichshort · 28/11/2011 16:32

I know, I hate not being able to say anything at all, it's really hard. Although I am resolved to answer all questions honestly if and when they come.

We are lucky though because DD's best friend, from a different school, is v good at art, and highly perfectionist, so I can at least talk to her mum.

Quick question - it's been suggested (by the nagc, who I talked to today) that we get some worksheets for DD to keep her ticking over. Does anyone have any experience of good English/spelling ones. She loved doing al the 'I can write' Ladybird books...

Iamnotminterested · 28/11/2011 16:45

WHSmith "Challenge" workbooks are great, although I am not sure they are available for KS1? Hmm. In any case, the rest of the WHSmith range are good too; I don't go anywhere without their pocket-sized mental maths books...Blush

iggly2 · 28/11/2011 17:02

One of ds's friends mum was round and asking me about DS maths so I just confirmed (I am honest IYSWIM) he did different maths certainly no details.

iggly2 · 28/11/2011 17:05

Most know about his reading as he has been at same school since nursery and was reading out cards/letters/notices etc.

mrsshears · 28/11/2011 17:08

Its a funny one isnt it,to tell or not to tell?
on one hand i think its not something to be ashamed of but on the other i know some people (competetive mums at school) would just be looking for dd to fail and/or slating her for not being brilliant at everything.
Family know as do close friends but noone else really,other than dd's school.

simpson · 28/11/2011 17:26

I have not really told anyone from DS's school (actually I have just thought of someone but her DC are not in the same yr as mine)

I have told family and other friends with DC out of DS's school iyswim.

Has anyone told their DC?? I have not told him yet as he does not seem to have noticed Hmm

Iamnotminterested · 28/11/2011 17:54

No, not told DD, although she realises that she is "Quite good" at literacy.

mrsshears · 28/11/2011 18:03

We have told dd that she was born with a special brain that helps her to be good at things if she tries very hard at them.This has helped her self esteem and confidence in herself at school.
I would not tell a child they are gifted though.

blackeyedsanta · 28/11/2011 18:55

one sandwich, just a flying visit, but yes... you may have to remind me though, attention span of a ...

blackeyedsanta · 28/11/2011 18:59

oh and I occasionally let something slip. fortunately, one of the parents I let slip too has a dd who is good at writing so could say that my dd couldn't rite as ell.

let slip to someomne else too in a general whinge about the school, but not in too much detail. it is hard to get across unhappiness without seeming to boast.

Joyn · 28/11/2011 19:04

I'm really enjoying this thread! Susan great idea to note everyone's dcs details, does make everything easier to follow, (sorry but I have another amendment I should have said that although, dd1 is yr1 age, she's currently in a yr2 class).

In answer to the query do the dcs know they're a bit different from their peers, our answer is yes. I realised ds was ahead when he went into yr1 & became a free reader & was put in to the top ks1 group, (with the best yr2s) for literacy & maths. He realised then too, most of his yr group were still on stage 4 ORT & being tested on 'tree' & 'hard' in spelling & he was being tested on 'phantom' & 'missionary' & invited on 'gift days'.

He's just accepted it really, his way of seeing it is everyone is different; some people are good at running, others art or whatever & he's good at learning. He's never been big headed about it & although he knows he's on the gift list, I've never told him for which subjects & now his sister is g&t too, I'm really pleased about that as I'd hate it if one was saying I'm better at history than you etc.

So, on to dd1, I told her that she was on the gift list, because she already knew about it from her brother & is rather competitive, always trying to prove she's just as good as her brother, (which is quite an act to follow). So I was very pleased for her when she got added to the list & got her first invite to a gift day.

Tbh, even if you don't tell them, I think they probably know, as schools are so target focused these days that they know what their individual targets are & if they are different to their peers. Also, sometimes it can help them realise why they are different and also not to show off about it.

Joyn · 28/11/2011 19:12

As for telling other parents. I have some close mum friends, who know bits & bobs, but I've never actually said to any of the mums with dcs in ds's class what his SATS scores were, although I have told a mum friend with dc in dd1s class, (but I've never told her what Dds NC levels are). Have never mentioned anything to other mums outside my friends.

adoptmama · 28/11/2011 19:32

Great to know everyones DCs ages and stages. Though I will forget and will need to bookmark thread! DD will be 5 in a few months. I have told friends - more because I was stuggling to process for me what 'gifted' meant. I kind of wish I hadn't.

DD knows she is better at maths than her class mates and likes to help them with stuff. She's just figured this out herself - i've never said anything to her and can't imagine saying 'you are gifted'. I like mrsshears approach of saying 'if you work hard' rather than just having her think she has a special ability which needs means no effort is required on her part.

DD can be very black-and-white judgemental though about friends - thinks they are deliberately not doing things that she is convinced they know how to do and are just pretending otherwise. This can be about maths, alpahabet, phonic sounds, words & actions to a song, rule breaking (she is so anal about rules being followed!) - anything. I frequently hear from her "X said they couldn't do such-and-such but they can" - she even accuses friends of deliberately cheating on games if they make errors or foget rules. Can see this tendency causing big social problems for her later if she doesn't learn a)tolerance and/or b)keeping mouth shut! She is also not above correcting teacher - recently teacher was trying to persuade her to try something new by telling her she had learned to walk and that was once new and difficult. DD began stomping around and stating 'see I can walk. See? Does it look hard? I don't think so!" (And did not try the new thing.) Credit for inventivness, but I think she could be a bit of a pita down the line tbh!

Joyn · 28/11/2011 19:46

Totally agree adoptmama, never told them they're gifted, (not really comfortable with calling them that myself, as you may have seen on the other thread about brightness,) just good at learning & on g&t list. Its really important that they don't end up thinking they don't need to try because they're clever.

iggly2 · 28/11/2011 20:03

I think I'm lucky that Ds school does not have a G and T register and days out linked to that so other parents are not nosy about such a register. It does not help children in other years have refered to him as "genius" in the playground. Mummy had to come up with very different definition for the word after that Grin.

He knows he is good at somethings as his books have the various years work printed on and he has 1-2-1. It does not help DS is extrovert and we are working on preventing his boastful side making unwanted appearances.

iggly2 · 28/11/2011 20:04

I do not let him read his reports.

mrsshears · 28/11/2011 20:08

iggly i'll trade some of dd's introvert for some of your ds's extrovert and we could have the perfect balance Grin

iggly2 · 28/11/2011 20:24

Your on Mrsshears. The weekly spend on biscuits would be drastically reduced (playdates galore here!).GrinBiscuit

iggly2 · 28/11/2011 20:25

Opps . You're on ........Blush

Joyn · 28/11/2011 20:53

Btw Iggly, meant to say earlier. If ds is in private school, he may not even have SATS. You're best asking the school what they do as yr 2 exams.

Wafflenose · 28/11/2011 22:03

waves shyly
Have followed this thread on and off, and am marking my place, as lots of the dcs on here seem similar to mine. DD1, age 6.1 and in year 1. I have written about her on other threads before but am pretty disillusioned with school - in fact anything they challenge her with will be a happy bonus I think, even though it shouldn't be that way. She just never seems to work at her level - e.g. writing (level 2b in reception, so not as good as some, but still...) not sure she's achieved that this year, because they only get to write short sets of instructions etc, and reading: same old story as many of you - have recently looked at a Stage 13 book of school reading scheme, which she could read without trying, but school have her on 7. Apparently it's the highest group in the class (in a Y1/2 class - I don't think so!!) but I think to demonstrate progression through NC levels they have to have read plays with their peers, discuss rhyming patterns, use speech marks in their own writing etc and her teachers just seem to be ticking these boxes all the time. So she comes home and reads the school book in a fed-up sort of way, we write a nice comment in the reading record, and she goes to bed and reads 4 of those annoying fairy books, or Dick King-Smith, or Roald Dahl. Have decided with this particular school that there's no point in her getting any further ahead, and luckily we have managed to fill her mind up with music. For now. Anyway, didn't mean to write so much, or to moan!! Thanks for reading if you got this far.