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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

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Original poster

Flexi schooling for bright kids

19 replies

alleykitten · 07/11/2011 15:20

DS is 3.5 and I'm teaching him basic reading and maths. He's bright, though not freakishly so, and interested in books. I was taught to read at a similar age and benefited massively from starting school with intellectual confidence.

He's due to start school in September, or possibly in April since we're on the Welsh border and they start sooner there. The schools here are pretty good, but it's quite a hippyish area and they're not exactly academically pushy, and I don't want to give up on stretching him just because nobody else is.

Does anyone here "flexi-school" their child? I find loads of info about people doing it to support children who are struggling a bit academically, and homeschoolers who find the school environment a bit too pressured. I'm considering it so I can teach my son up to the standard of his curiosity while maintaining the social and institutional benefits of going to school.

Any thoughts gratefully received!

OP posts:

cory · 08/11/2011 08:56

tbh I never found a problem with teaching to dc's curiosity out of schools hours- there are still afternoons and weekends and holidays, you can pack a lot in

the problem I can see with flexi-schooling is missing out on friendship groups

dd has had to have some flexi-schooling at times due to ill health and that is the one problem it has caused: things happenening socially when you are not there and then trying to catch up

much easier to catch up on maths or science

Original poster

alleykitten · 08/11/2011 12:49

Thanks, cory. I did wonder about friendship groups - at that age it's so important to have a sense of belonging, and undermining that is obviously not desirable.

The schools we're looking at aren't going to inundate him with homework so I guess we could fit quite a lot in without losing too much freedom time.

OP posts:

4madboys · 08/11/2011 13:08

i flexi schooled my eldest two for a while :)

it very much depends on the headteacher, its up to them to decide if they will allow it or not, we had alovely head who was fine but she then retired and was replaced by an awful one. i ended up pulling my boys out of hte school and finding another one which they then went to full time, our choice, but they were home educated and then flexi schooled until 9yrs for my eldest nad 6yrs for my ds2. it worked great for us :)

Original poster

alleykitten · 09/11/2011 15:25

How did you organise it, 4madboys? Did they go in for set days each week or could you arrange to take them out for longer periods?

OP posts:

RodThompson · 16/11/2011 09:46

IMO the think to remember is that school is not just about an academic experience. Going to school is vital for social and emotional development as well. If it were me i would start with school full time and see how it goes.

Gracie123 · 20/11/2011 19:08

We wanted to flexi-school our son but the schools around here wouldn't hear of it.
Their solution was to put him up a year or two
So we've decided to home educate. Much happier

birdsofshoreandsea · 20/11/2011 19:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exoticfruits · 20/11/2011 19:25

Flexi schooling gives them the worst of both sides.
School is about so much more than the academic and they don't all go in a cupboard while he isn't there! They get on and forge friendships and he just isn't there.

As a teacher I would hate it because in order for the one DC to be flexi it puts the rest of the class in a straight jacket of timetable. e.g. the class end Monday getting really stuck into some project, and are so keen that the teacher wants to continue first thing on Tues morning, but the part time DC thinks he is coming to maths so she either has to stick to the maths or she has to accomodate the part time DC who hasn't a clue what they are doing, hasn't a group and has missed all the preparation.
They will also be buzzing with something exciting that happened e.g. a theatre group visit and he wasn't there or he has to listen to all the things coming up that he will miss.

Equally if you want to do something with HE groups they might have something exciting planned and he can't go because Tuesday is his school day.

I would make your mind up and do one or the other.

4madboys · 20/11/2011 19:45

actually it worked well for my boys, they still had friends in and out of school and no problems with work missed etc. trips etc were always extras and even if they werent on a 'school day' they could go if they chose to or i thought it would be worthwhile.

my boys had no problem dropping in and out and their teachers were supportive of it actually, i think it depends on the school, the teachers and the head teachers, we certainly found that when out HT retired the new one was not at all receptive to the idea, infact she was downright rude and snotty when she spoke to me alone, her tone changed dramatically when she met my dp who works with children in SS and she knew of him and who he is. suddenly she couldnt be nicer to us both! that sealed the deal for me and we removed the boys from the school. cannot abide snobbery like that! (she hadnt realised he was the boys father as we arent married adn the boys have double barrelled surname but she had only looked at the first part of their surname, mine!) the look on her face when dp came to the second meeting and she realised that i was NOT some un-educated, single mother and the change towards us was patronising and insulting.

anyway gone off on a tangent but it can work well IF you find the right school.

Gracie123 · 20/11/2011 20:46

I think finding the right school is key.
Kids will always talk about exciting stuff they've done, even if someone missed it. To suggest that otherwise sounds like you must believe everything a child does centres around school.

Surely some of the class go to brownies/scouts together? Some were invited to X's birthday party an some couldn't make it? Some go to the same swimming class/church/football club?

It's part of life that you don't do everything with everyone. Surely you don't attend every social event that everyone in your work place does? Does it upset you to go to the office and hear about a joke from drinks on Friday that you didn't attend?

It's not like when they have I attend school full time and still not go to any social events for whatever reason (disliked, live to far away, controlling parents etc...)

They are only there part time, so it's easier to deal with, even if it does feel uncomfortable now and then. It's not all day every day for a flexi schooled child.

TheRepublicOfDreams · 20/11/2011 21:00

'Freakishly so'?

Having said that, I am Watching with interest as would like to flexing with one of my dc.

exoticfruits · 20/11/2011 21:11

I think it can work if they are very confident, popular DCs. However it is very difficult if they are shy or find friendships difficult.

As a teacher I would just find it very difficult because I like the timetable to be very flexible which would make it difficult for the flexi DC-I wouldn't want to be pinned down.

exoticfruits · 20/11/2011 21:12

I would have hated it as a DC-I hated even being off ill and missing anything.

4madboys · 20/11/2011 21:45

yes i would say its VERY dependent on the child and the school and the teacher.

we home schooled to begin with, ds1 is late aug bday and he was NOT ready for school at all at just turned 4. ds2 is a july bday and the same for him. they had a year of flexi-school before going to school full time when they were 9yrs and 6yrs respectively. we had been thinkig about full time school for high school anyway and then we were sort of 'forced' into it as i had post natal psychosis after the birth of ds4. we had at that point just pulled them out of the school we were using for flexi schooling due to the new headteacher, this was summer term, so they had a bit of time at home and then started their new school full time in the sept and got on brilliantly, ds1 is now at high school yr8 and ds2 is in yr 5 and both are doing well.

then ds3 started school in reception (dec born so more ready) and he loves it, ds4 is 3 and already desperate to go to school, bless him. so he will be starting next sept.

dd is only 11mths so too young to tell what will be best for her, if i think thats home ed we will do that, if i think its flexi schooling we will look into it at the school the boys are at (they are open to the idea asi have discussed it with them) i really think you have to look at each child as they are all different with differing needs and abilities, even within the same family what works for one child may not work for another.

exoticfruits · 21/11/2011 09:39

i really think you have to look at each child as they are all different with differing needs and abilities, even within the same family what works for one child may not work for another.

I think that this is the really vital thing and they are never too young to discuss it. DS2 was an August birthday and he just wasn't ready for school, in fact it was the school that advised that he stayed in the nursery.

OP needs to look at her DC. The academic side isn't so important, it is the social side. They are all different. As a 5 yr old I adored school and I would have gone at weekends too! I can still remember my mother getting the dreaded thermometer out when I was insisting that I was well and saying 'you can't go, you have a temperature of 101'! I was also very shy so not being there all the time would have made life very difficult for me. I think my brother would have loved it, he was more laid back and outgoing.

4madboys · 21/11/2011 12:52

you cant keep them in nursery/pre-school here in england tho, i know you can in scotland and they still start in reception, but if they dont do reception here they just have to go straight into year one which kind of defeats the purpose really!

and i always went to school even when ill, as a teen i went into school when i had tonsilitis, i had to leave school to go to a gp's app, ihad a temp of 104 and the dr was furious that i had been in school! but i had insisted!

exoticfruits · 21/11/2011 17:31

It was a nursery class attached to the infant school, that probably made the difference. He did go straight into yr1-which I admit defeats the purpose.

4madboys · 22/11/2011 08:53

our pre-school is on the school site and they share the playground etc which is nice but no option of holding htem back, well unless you want them to go into yr 1 and of course you may not get a place!

in scotland you can defer entry for a year for summer born/young in the year or for other reasons if the nursery dont think they were ready, they were prem etc, and the system seems to work well. shame they dont allow it in the rest of the UK :(

exoticfruits · 22/11/2011 08:58

Ours was a nursery class and part of the school.
It is a really pity that we are so caught up on dates. It makes sense to be flexible.

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