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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

Original poster

To want to get my child tested by an educational psychologist....

359 replies

royaljelly · 26/10/2011 23:36

Sorry quite long as a bit of backgroung is needed.

My daughter turned 2 at the end of June 2011 and she is really intelligent (may be biased).

The main factors are:

Can count to 20 in English

Can count to 8 in Spanish, (we do not speak spanish and think she has picked this up from Dora),

She recognises if you ask her to count in Spanish or English.

Often counts backwards from 10 correctly, even whilst playing

Will remember statements, such as, 'We will build a den after dinner'. As soon as dinner is done we have to build a den.

Recognises colours such as pink, purple, brown, as well as primary ones and will get the correct crayon even if the wrapping is a different colour.

Recognises shapes and can draw them if asked.

Spots mumbers in the street and calls them out.

Has circled the toys in the Argos catalogue for Xmas.... we thought she was scribbling but she has a definate view on what she wants, (quite a tomboy and has missed out the entire girly range except for a kitchen).

As parents we thought she was rather bright, but thought our own biased views made this the case. This has now been picked up by her childminder and even people at the bus-stop who think she is older than she actually is.

I have been on the Mensa website and they have said that for children under 10, their tests be carried out by an educational psychologist.

They seem to mainly carry out tests on ADHD or troubled kids and partner now thinks that if I go ahead and organise this it may label her.

I think that if we get advice on encouraging and building her intelligence then this will benefit her in the future.

I should add that we do not sit her down and command her to draw shapes or count, but do this as part of family fun time ie: sat on one parents knee as we play Trivial Pursuit with her much older brothers, (she gets to move the counter).

Do I go ahead with the tests or not. I am afraid of becoming complacent with her intelligence and not allowing her to have the best opportunies in the future.

OP posts:
larrygrylls · 27/10/2011 10:27

I hate this idea of wanting "the best" for one's children. It strikes me as vicarious competitiveness and also a degree of selfishness that people would never find acceptable if they were applying it to themselves.

I want my children to have good opportunities and great experiences, but if there was some Montessori Nursery or special programme which promised to give them an advantage over their peers, I would have no interest. Also, if you bring your children up as thinking they are geniuses, then what happens when they find out they are not (as will happen in 99+% of cases). It just sets them up for huge disappointment. Let them grow up as normal children and, if they are exceptional, then they will show you, you will not have to test for it.

SoupDragon · 27/10/2011 10:27

Oh god... I am weeping at "I think that if she could have her intelligence scores submitted to Mensa then it would aid all future College / Uni applications". You lost me there I'm afraid.

LOLOLOL....

PosiesOfPoison · 27/10/2011 10:28

Hijack for Pebble.

DS1. aged 9
Talked late (late in comparison to peers but not worryingly late)
Found blending an reading hard, I think he reads from memory more than understanding laws of spelling/reading.
Maths is okay.
Hates reading.
Often misses the important part of a group of facts, verbally.
Reading comprehension, has no confidence and thinks he can never do it so short cuts and gets it wrong. (will just look for key word and copy as opposed to 'idea')
Socially he plays with girls and boys and is teased for this.

Plays with very academic boys and feels left behind.
Doesn't find it perfectly to any school group, although never alone and very well liked.

Part of me wants him tested, I worry that I have crippled his confidence, too over bearing, too critical....what can I do now?

ThePumpkinofDoomandTotalCha0s · 27/10/2011 10:30

catatemygymsuit - actually that's not necessarily correct about problems understanding language = cognitive impairment. yes, receptive language problems can be v disabling in school/social environment, but language problems can exist without other cognitive impairment (my DS was tested using non-verbal intelligence tests by an ed psych as part of ASD assessment process).

EvilVampireFrog · 27/10/2011 10:31

pebbledasher What I got from the results was that DS1 is good at those tests, because they interest him. He has HFA, at 6 can't use scissors and only toilet trained at 5 years, but he can surely woop that test's ass

Seems like a sort of pointless activity, really. Testing him at 4 didn't tell us much. Still, he'll always be welcome at dinner parties with his bit of paper with "High IQ" written on it. [hhmm]

ThePumpkinofDoomandTotalCha0s · 27/10/2011 10:33

assuming the OP is genuine - UK universities couldn't give a flying fig about IQ. It's completely irrelevant to admission. If admissions tutors are interested in general intelligence/aptitude skills other than A Level results then they will either find this out by interview questions or by some sort of subject specific skill test.

mistlethrush · 27/10/2011 10:34

Bright - yes, I'm sure she is. So's my ds. So are lots of children.

However, when I was growing up we had a family that we were friends with who were incredibly bright. Their 2 yo was studying books on the disection of frogs and insects. He was properly studying with magnifying glass and identifying what precise type of instect he had found etc. Perhaps if you get to that stage you might need some advice on how to do things - but otherwise just do interesting things, do puzzles, read books and stop watching so much Dora.

ThePumpkinofDoomandTotalCha0s · 27/10/2011 10:34

EVF - yes, DS doing fine at those tests didn't seem to result in much other than giving the ed psych a pretext for no further involvement!

pebbledasher · 27/10/2011 10:35

PosiesOf Poison, I've sent a reply back-channel.

EricNorthmansMistress · 27/10/2011 10:38

This is the funniest thread in the world!

One of my DBros was potentially G&T as a young child, v advanced, IQ test way above average, parents put him in private school, he's 23 now. He's an assistant manager in a restaurant Grin

Not to say he hasn't done well, he has done very well, good career, loves his job, money in the bank etc, but he's actually very socially intelligent - and I believe this is because he was allowed to leave the private school he hated and go to the comp and be normal. He's certainly no Oxbridge candidate - 10 Cs at GCSE, mainly due to all the socialising and fun he was doing. I know he's my brother and not my son but I'd rather see him happy, fulfilled and successful in his chosen career than earning ££££££££££ in some super career and not happy.

pebbledasher · 27/10/2011 10:38

EvilVampireFrog,
I agree that testing at 4 has limited use. It can flag up early problems but a good score does not mean you're out of the woods completely. The sorts of things your ds struggled with required a more comprehensive assessment, tying together language, motor and executive functioning skills, and the integration of these only develops fully during adolescence which is why problems often really emerge on transfer to secondary school.

thecatatemygymsuit · 27/10/2011 10:41

ThePumpkinofDoomandTotalCha0s, yes, sorry, you're right. I think what I meant was that it is entirely normal to understand a phrase such as 'We will build a den after dinner', so it might perhaps indicate other problems if she didn't understand that. But yes, not necessarily. It's hardly an indication of Mensa-style ability though, is it?

TheScaryJessie · 27/10/2011 10:52

I understand that you want to do as much as possible to ensure a wonderful future for her, I really do. I don't think an Ed Psych assessment will do that, though.

If you have money to spend, there are better ways to spend it. Firstly, you could simply save it and put it in a university fund.

Secondly, you have two older children! There's going to be expensive trips abroad with the language department, for a start. Then there's extra-curricular club and hobbiess, etc. All that. A much better, more fruitful, enjoyable way of spending the money.

ragged · 27/10/2011 10:54

What did the Midwife say?
What if we all promise to say nothing more on this thread and zip our mouths up if OP will just offer up that single gem?

Else we can start a thread about remarkable but meaningless things our babies did before 3 months old? Like DS3 smiled before he was 2 weeks ago (I have video to prove it!). And DS1 was fully weight bearing for long spells by 10 weeks, standing and smiling idiotically, me just barely holding his hands to keep him balanced. I remember HV frowning & saying "Ten week olds aren't supposed to do that."

ragged · 27/10/2011 10:56

2 weeks old even.
I should change my Talkname to TypoQueen, sigh.

unitarian · 27/10/2011 10:57

If she's mathematically able then she might well be musical. Save your money for financing that!

TheScaryJessie · 27/10/2011 11:08

Oh yes. Music is expensive, isn't it? My family couldn't afford it and now I'll never know if I could have been a concert pianist!

Okay, I have no evidence of musical ability, whatsoever, but that's not the point.

EvilVampireFrog · 27/10/2011 11:13

Music is insanely expensive. My poor mother, spent about a zillion quid on my tuition, and now I play country music in pubs. Bless her, she tries to be proud. [hwink]

orangeone · 27/10/2011 11:20

Haven't read all the posts but am a psychologist.
In brief OP DD sounds normal.
IQ testing before school age (about 6) is not as reliable as waiting until then and using the WISC-4 (gold standard test). Tends to be better at flagging up those with problems TBH rather than 'genuises'. iQ predictive of academic not life success only.
Please let your DD be a normal happy 2 year old. There is plenty of time to find out she is a genius more reliably once she gets to school(!)....

Maryz · 27/10/2011 11:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

unitarian · 27/10/2011 11:34

There are many things you could spend money on for a child but an unnecessary ed. psych. report would be last on my list.
I'm sure the mum who posted recently about not being able to afford a musical instrument for her Ds would agree.

TangerinePuppet · 27/10/2011 11:34

OP relax FGS!

My DD is just 21mo and does all of the things you outline in your OP, except for counting backwards and in Spanish (we don't watch Dora!).

At no point have I ever thought her development was anything other than 100% normal!

They are like massive sponges at his age and it's fascinating to see how quickly they are able to absorb information and learn so much. It's easy to get excited and carried away by it all and I'm sure you're very proud...but, sorry - totally normal development Smile

I do have to question your motivation re the testing though! It comes across and will come across to people in RL that you are doing it for the kudos. Not healthy. Let her enjoy these early years.

DodieSmith · 27/10/2011 11:36

It sounds to me like the OP doesn't have much experience of dealing with someone who is academically gifted and is excited and proud at the prospect. Although this is expressed in a way that has sounded alarm bells ringing for just about everybody, there's a certain amount of snobbishnes about 'oh don't you know about statistical reliability of IQ tests OP, and/or university entrance criteria?'

That said, of course testing would be wrong.

spiderpig8 · 27/10/2011 11:43

your DD is undoubtedly advanced.But because young children develop at such different rates it is impossible to get a reliable indication of intelligence until they are about 5. faster developing at this age sadly does not equate to IQ later on.Anyone who works with children will tell you they hve seen many genius toddlers grow up to be mediocre school children.Please don't make a big thing of this.You will be stting yourselves up for a big fall.

lesley33 · 27/10/2011 11:43

My parents thought I was a genius as a young kid. I still remember the crushing sense of disappointment about 6/7 as I realised that although I was bright, I was not actually a genius - and that there were other kids in my school who were also very bright.

And research on child geniuses show that few go on to realise their early potential. One I read about was reading books in her pram at - proper books, not picture books - and her reading was self taught. But made no real long term difference.