does anyone know if pixie still lurks? home ed q...

[madwomanintheattic]

under namechange, or whatever?

or would anyone else like to offer their twopennorth about home ed (specifically unschooling) bright kids? i think school is going to kill off ds1 and am toying with pulling him out. opinions welcomed!

Hi Have you looked into other schools? They are all different. It can be hard to match the school to the child though. I don't think she's around at the moment, I have her on my FB account though so am happy to pass on your details so you can chat if you want.

have you tried the home education board?

yy, have a thread running on home ed - was just curious if pixie was still around as i missed the whole debacle thing, and we had chatted about he before on here...

belle, he's in his third school (just started yr5) (not actually because we keep moving him but we keep moving, lol.) all of his teachers have said the same thing (for 5 years!) - he's incredibly bright, but school (by and large the entirety of it as an institution) just doesn't suit him. so it's really difficult to motivate him. when he's interested, he's on fire. but the rest of the time he just can't apply himself. he still comes out top student every year, (last year they gave him a cheque ffs, after telling me he had done no work all year) so at the mo it's just about conformity... he isn't learning to apply himself or to follow anything through to conclusion, it's all stop start, do this, do that.

we spend hours trying to get him to do homework that should take ten minutes, because he gets distracted (last week was a classic example - he had to research the history of the hygrometer and build a 'ghetto hygrometer', make a diagram of it, label.) he was fascinated by the hygrometers and how they worked, wanted to build them all and test them all, (breathing on them, hairdryers, shower room) was really genuinely excited - his little sis has long blonde hair which was a key materiel for one design , but we were basically struggling to get him to do the 'history' bit, as he couldn't find a website which told him which country the first hygrometer was built in. aaaaaaand he wouldn't get any marks for buildings 5 hygrometers, or even understanding how they all worked, but he would get a mark for writing 'germany'. it just got me thinking about the reality of what 'education' is...

my girls are in school, quite happily. both have a neat g&t coding and their work is differentiated. dd1 is also on the local mentoring scheme offered to the brightest kids to give them additional project scope. the current teacher has offered to get ds1 moved up a grade level to see if that triggers a work effort, but it's really tricky. so far i've been 'well, he's got to learn to suck it up and get on with his work', but tbh he has a huge work ethic and an unbounded enthusiasm, but i think the constraints of the curriculum and the way it is administered might kill it dead... his new teacher is lovely, and has pegged him immediately. she's calling him 'attention diverse' () but there have been a lot of labels that different docs and paeds have used (as/asd/ adhd/add/odd) but tbh he's not neatly boxed. he certainly has traits of lots of things. (sees paed mostly for incontinence issues, but she sees three different areas - the continence, the attention, and a level of anxiety) i just wonder if any of them are being exacerbated by school itself. (that's a new thought)

any ideas would be welcomed! if you do speak to pixie, she might remember discussing he with me (i think she was looking at he, but didn't in the end as school was sorted).

it really isn't the school. it's definitely ds1. and if we carry on the way he's going he's definitely not going to meet his potential, and will probably drop out of high school.

oh, we moved to canada btw, so we're not in the uk now.

wow. that is a lot to consider. the homework situation sucks. he worked so hard on it and learnt so much, yet would get no marks because he did not write 1 word.

you sound like you know what is best for ds. you sound like you want to he him. what is it that is stopping you?

if you take him out of school can he re-enroll if necessary?

where do you see him "fitting" as an adult? does he need to learrn school habits to do whatever his passion is? could he learn to study in an institution when he is a lot older and in the mean time really get to grips wwith stuff like the hygrometers.

it would be a shame to quash his enthusiasm for learning by compelling him to attend school and follow a narrow curriculum.

all that study about hygrometers sounds really exciting, finding out that they were first invented in germany sounds dull as ditch water. wants to shout "release the child" if the school can't facilitate that sort of learning and recognise it... well...

oh fuck, life is short enough and hard work and sometimes unrelentingly grinding down with responsibilities enough without quashing that love of learning...

i know.

and we've spent, what, five years of his life trying to bend him into the same shape as everyone else already. so far it's the 'habits' thing that has been keeping him in school (lol, our 'habits', cos that's what you do, isn't it? but also his 'habits' ie getting him to acquire some ) his teachers have all said the same thing for 5 years (tbh it's really shocked me. 5 years!!! that's half of his lifetime!) and his pre-school said the same thing. and nursery. even at two my friends would raise their eyebrows at him and give me that look.

his teachers have all loved him to death, but don't know what to do with him.

i suppose i've been hoping that some teacher along the line is going to wave a magic wand, and suddenly he'll be 'normed'. but i feel like i've had some sort of epiphany, as i'm wondering whether 'norming' him would be some sort of tragedy.

as an adult? well, i dunno. various teachers have suggested (random smattering of comments) prime minister, next einstein, 'definitely something amazing but i can't imagine what', but this one seems to have her head screwed on and is pretty worried that at some point he'll be so disaffected with the system he'll just drop out, which, i have to say, is equally likely. (that's why she burst into tears - her daughter did the same thing a long time ago.)

he definitely 'clicks' with math/ science. but i have to say i can't see him as a 9-5er. i can see him going to university, but largely because i think he will fixate on something which will carry him, and by that point it will be his passion, or whatever. but i suspect that unless we do something drastic now and make an attempt to keep his enthusiasm alive, he won't get that far. i can see him seeing the point of university, but not school, at least not now.

i wonder if he-ing will in some way mean that he can come to those realisations himself, less painfully? and without that level of anxiety, maybe some of the other traits/ symptoms will reduce, too. it's all a bit chicken and egg.

why aren't i doing it now?

really good question i'm very close. dh is on side. i'm trying to get some local contacts as i don't really understand the legal aspects here.

he can re-enrol whenever.

i guess i'm just dithering really.

thanks for being interested. i'm glad you 'got it'. i feel like i'm being a bit nuts. he's a pretty cool kid, but he isn't einstein, despite what his teachers have said. i think i'm trying to make sure i'm not making too big a deal out of it.

Hey Madwoman! (remember me?)

You're describing my DD1 (yr3, age 7) to a tee! She took 2,5 HOURS to do a boring bit of homework that should have taken about, ummm, about 15 minutes - and then went completely off on a tangent for an hour on the bit she loved but wasn't going to get any marks for.... The school (well, two of the teachers and the b@**$y SENCO) are still convinced she's completely Aspergers even though the four specialists who have assessed her can't make up their minds and have written to the school to that effect. We're waiting for more assessments before we sue their asses remove DD do something drastic flexi school.

Have you thought about flexi schooling your DS1? I'm toying with the idea if the situation doesn't improve.

And also - re: anxiety levels - how is your DS during holidays? It's half term here and we have again seen a major improvement in DD during holidays.

hello!

i don't know if we can flexi-school here tbh. they do something called 'blending' but essentially that is home ed with the school retaining responsibility for the curriculum (eh?) - it all sounds a bit complex and i need to find someone local who actually does it so that i can ask dumb questions.

we don't have half term either, so it's all a bit stressy at the moment. i hadn't really thought about how he is in the holidays tbh, so glad you've mentioned it! (today he started whining because he realised dd2 finished school fifteen whole minutes before him, which was desperately unfair). we actually did a ritalin (or strattera or whatever) trial last christmas holiday (at the time it made sense as we could keep an eye on him for side effects) but it was pretty inconclusive (probably because he was out of school and it was impossible to draw any conclusions. )

well, i'm going to have to go as i think dh is about to murder him upstairs . he's pumped full of sugar from the amount of hallowe'en candy flying about (at school, climbing and cubs today) and is bouncing off the walls. better go and settle everything down!

it's funny how everyone is so keen to dx, isn't it? we've had so many pseudo-dx. and i do wonder how much of it is just 'different' and not really identifiable, and exacerbated by the context...

Hope you got the DH vs DC match under control ok (we get that too).

Yep, everyone seems hellbent on sticking a label ("dx"), don't they? I guess it's just easier for most people, and we're all guilty of it in certain situations, aren't we? ("the boss is just a total bitch"; "sabretooth tiger=bad, fire=good") The world is simpler in black & white. But you'd somehow hope the educational establishment to be more comfortable with all the shades of grey (and the thinking that goes with it!) wouldn't you? Or the medical establishment.... I asked our headteacher just the other week: "What would the benefits of having a dx be for DD1? What would change at school for her? How would having that label improve her life?" The HT replied nothing would change - the strategies and level of help would be exactly the same.

How about you have a trial period of home schooling?? Say, three-four weeks off to see how you both like it? Give the headmaster some excuse ("he's attending a very special G&T programme" ) that doesn't commit you either way, and see how it goes, whether the anxiety levels are easier and whether you both feel you can do it.

Besides - how much have you got to lose if you ask the headmaster about flexi schooling - maybe it's just that nobody there has asked before? I think there are obvious benefits for DC like ours, it just entirely depends on how possible it is to sell the idea to the school.

You make such a good point about the narrowness of what they get marks for in school, and how a vast amount of other learning will be irrelevant if the word "Germany" is missing.... (we had excatly the same issue over the Space-theme homework!) You've made me think about what education is/should be about too

yeah, I got told off at parents evening for including more pages in the homework than the one double page allowed. the childen were told in class that they should only use one double page. bought our own books now. we will do projects in those instead and write in an arsy comment about needing more room than the restrictive 2 pages and have kept all the work together at home I may put in a sentence that dd has witten about what she has done at home. and a photo of her work if I am feeling less stroppy.

a trial sounds fabulous. that way we can 'suck it and see', and i think actually his teacher would understand - he's above grade level if he actually does the work ,and as they have offered moving him up a grade as a solution then they shouldn't be too concerned about him 'falling behind'? particularly if i suggest is as a trial for a particular period. not sure where i stand legally, and wheter i have to register him as he for that period though... might have to discuss with the school board.

thanks nt, i've discovered john taylor gatto and john holt this week, in my investigations into homeschooling etc, and someone on the mn he board suggested sandra dodd for unschooling specifically. all really good reads as i'm pondering this stuff. it's always helpful to know that someone else has had the same thoughts lol (and acted on them!) (and amazing that i haven't heard of them before - i'm always astonished by how much i don't know )

susan, yy. it's the rigidity aspect. i'm sure it didn't used to be this bad. i remember being a rabid story writer in primary, and even getting extra time for homework as my stories were so loooooooooong. when did it get so structured? have i got some sort of false memory syndrome? has it always been this way and i just didn't notice?

they have introduced documents gradually over the last 20 years. schools have responded in different ways. one head teacher said she was shocked the year 6 children did not know what tadpoles were and basically said sod the national currriculum and get outside more.

just read a post on another thread. can't believe they are making him prove his ability by answering the easy questions. he seems to fit some of the descriptions on the nagc website (uk one) of not doing stuff unless they can see the point.

yes, you have to learn to do some things to cope in adult life, but there is plenty of scope for learning that at home too.

i haven't looked at nagc for ages actually. i should have a read.

the tadpoles thing is bizarre isn't it? what a completely arbitrary thing the curriculum is, whether it's in the uk, canada, or anywhere. it takes a very brave ht to step outside the box.

Hi Madwoman, I home educate my son, aged eleven, and have done for the last two and a half years. He is flying, literally, in the subjects he can do best, and we still do the others but I don't force the issue.
There are lots of HE websites out there, loads you can get off the net to enhance his education, loads you can do with him.
Take him out, he'll still get socialisation if you join a group (there are bound to be groups near you as there are lots of HE kids around).
I have a timetable, as I believe home school should be exactly that, and we do five hours (about) a day. We take holidays when we want to - middle of the week if we like) and don't have terms.
My son much prefers it to school.
As I get more confident I think I could definitely teach up to GCSE at least (we are thinking of maths GCSE next summer to get him started as that is what he is best at). Maybe with help up to A level.
We are currently applying for independent scholarships for age 13 right now.
But if he doesn't get one, I won't panic.