I sympathise with you over the fear of failure issue. My ds has always been the same. But can I recommend the book Bounce, by Matthew Syed, which I have just finished reading? It explains effective approaches to effort (and failure). One example he gives, which is one that our dcs might understand, is that of elite ice skaters. He talks about a study done in the 90s that showed that the main difference between those who made the elite levels, and those not getting to that level was that the former regularly attempted jumps beyond their current capabilities. The less elite didn?t. So basically the elite fell over more often in training sessions. There is a quote about a Japanese skater who is estimated to have fallen over more than 20,000 times in her progression from age 5 to 2006 Olympic champion: ?Landing on your butt twenty thousand times is where great performance comes from.?
Personally I find that a very visual example that children can giggle at but understand. Hopefully they can extrapolate the ice skating example to other activities. Dd and ds also have a problem with boredom during ballet. Both learn movements and dances quickly. But they don?t really get that ballet is about technique and repetitive practice over and over so that the body learns the moves and does them without conscious thought, with the right technique. Matthew Syed talks about sportsmen learning technique by practising until a movement is in their implicit memory, rather than explicit memory ? so they don?t have to think consciously about the movement. Dance is the same. I guess we (or the teacher) need to find ways of making the class more fun while that process goes on.
Syed did a Q&A on here not long ago and it is worth looking at his suggestions to individual parents? issues.
www.mumsnet.com/qanda/matthew-syed
If you are a member of nagc there is an advice sheet about perfectionism, and the fear of failure in gifted children which you can download from their website which suggests strategies. I think you can pay to get the advice sheets if you aren?t a member. There are some excellent ones that cover most of the issues people post about on here. Can?t say we have had any other benefit from being members, but then we live in an area without an active local group.
My dd is having a wonderful time playing her violin on a summer strings course at the moment. Am hoping it inspires her to practice more and improve on her crap sight reading. She took grade 2 a few months ago, but could have done this summer school last summer at just grade 1 level ? and there are 6 year olds on it (she says). So it you can just get your dd past the painful early stages of the violin then she may find playing in a group/holiday scheme enjoyable.