Is my toddler advanced, and what can I do for him...?

[typsical]

Hi all,

My DS was 2 in October and to me, my DH and our families he seems quite advanced for his age. Just wondered if you think these traits are normal for a boy his age, and if he is advanced, what we can do to 'encourage' him?

He can count objects up to at least 10 (not just reciting numbers, he actually counts objects)
He can recognise letters and points them out in shops on signs etc, all the time (for example, he'll say, "look a 'mmm' for mummy"), and asks what words/phrases say
He chimes in on adult conversations, needs to know exactly what you are talking about (will not accept a simplified version), wants to know what and who you are talking about, why, where, when, etc.
His memory is amazing - will recount anything that has happened or that he has been told, and speaks in full sentences very clearly (the only sound he struggles with is 'r'), and can retell a story from a book by looking at the pictures, pretty much word for word after only hearing it a couple of times, and can sing a number of nursery rhymes word perfect
He has a very good understanding - in fact I think we sometimes forget he is only 2 and a half. He is very sensitive, very aware and becomes upset if anyone is hurt or upset, and asks are you better/happy now? until that person is better/happy
He becomes easily frustrated (it's as though he knows exactly what to do, but his body won't let him do it straight away - once he calms down and trys again, he can usually do whatever the task is, be it thread a bead, fix a toy together...), and is extremely wilful!!!
He loves to dance, do forward rolls, shoulder stands, head stands (with the support of a wall, on a bed), jump, 'almost' hop, balance etc.
He has a vivid imagination - pretends to be characters, has imaginery friends, etc.

I know a lot of these things are probably typical of 2.5 year-olds, but I know a few children of the same age as our DS, and he does seem to be quite 'advanced' compared to them. Hope I don't sound like one of those mums who thinks their son is 'the most intelligent boy in the world'! I'm genuinely just interested in what is normal for his age, and if he is advanced in any way, how we can support and encourage him??

Many thanks... x

He sounds adorable. How to encourage him? Just keep doing whatever it is you're doing.

Dd1 coould do all that. Dd2 cannot and she is almost four. Dd2 is about 6 months behind her peers, according to the SEN nurse we saw. Dd1 is now slightly above her classmates, but not by far. All children develop at different rates, his peers will most likely catch up.

He does sound like a very happy, active little boy though. Just enjoy him.

To be honest, my DD3 is 2.0 and can do everything on your list apart from the head stands. Although she does use a trampoline handle to scale the wall upside down.

DD1 is 5.5 and goes to Special School. DD2 is 3.6, a bright bunny but not exceptional, I think. DD3 is going to be a challenge to keep stretched.

Enjoy him, talk to him, encourage him :)

Awww, he sounds fab! Just keep doing what you're doing encourage, play, have fun!

Thank you for all of your responses. Some of which are really quite touching and made me smile! :)

I should correct something in my original post. When I said he seems advanced compared to other children his age, I should have said compared to other boys we know. When I think about it, the girls we know of his age are at a similar level to my DS. Is this a general trend? That girls seem to advance in terms of language and understanding faster than boys? Or just the case amongst our friends?!

Anyway, I guess I should stop thinking about things too much, and enjoy him for what he is, and carry on the way we are.

Many thanks again for your posts.

Re language it really varies. Both my DD and DS were early talkers. DS is four, bright, but I daresay not exceptional. I fully expect the same of DD.

Just enjoy him and stop worrying if you're doing the right thing.

I noticed that mine were ahead of their peers at 2 ish. But it wasn't until they were 6 that I decided to have them tested - just for my own knowledge really, and they are very bright. I remember that they memorized the full dinosaur names, ie stegosaurous, diplodicus etc. Cant really remember what else they were doing at that age, but the dino thing stands out. You probably wont find out if he is really advanced until he goes to school. Just give him plenty of mental and physical stimulation and he will soak it up.

He sounds lovely. I bet you talk to him a lot. That's basically where it all comes from IMO.

I agree with everybody, your son sounds like a happy little chap. Just keep talking to him, playing games with him and reading tons of books! Puzzles are great also. And whatever he is exceptionally good at, just nurture that further. My daughter was reading before she was talking, by age 2 she was reading and writing so i just continously bought her books and writing materials. My son was not interested in any of that and still isn't! But he loves tools and fixing things, he's been changing the batteries in all his toys since he was 2! He is almost 5 now and insists on everybody buying him 'proper adult' tools! x

typsical, I have three children all of whom seemed to me at 2.5 to be very advanced for their age. It's partly, maybe, natural intelligence/ability and partly the effort my wife and I put into caring for and encouraging them.

You seem very concerned with how he compares to other children his age. Whatever the reasons for that I would worry less about the comparisons and concentrate on doing everything else you're doing.

One piece of advice which you may not appreciate now, but will probably agree with in a few years: When the time comes to send him to school .... don't!

Oh he sounds like a wonderful little boy. And loved. I daresay that you talk to him a lot too.

DD's pretty bright I think. But she's grown up on a farm with me there all the time (she started preschool at 3.5 which was her first experience away from me and with other children) and having each other for company I suspect I rabbited on at her from the moment she was here. They're wonderful little sponges at that age, brilliant at learning new things and have extraordinary memories. It always amazes me when they learn new songs/books off by heart after the first reading. But I think it's just the mark of a happy, engaged, curious, blossoming child.

He sounds bright, switched on, interested and interesting. Just carry on enjoying him. I did nothing 'formal' with dd, just carried on having as much fun as possible and at 3 she was beginning to read and doing basic adding/subtraction in her head. Because osmosis is a very powerful thing.

He sounds like my ds at the same age. At 6 my ds is clearly bright and ahead of his peers but not amazingly so. The big advice that i can offer is not to assume that his emotional development is keeping pace with his mental and physical one. Thinks like empathy, resolving conflict, saying sorry you may have to work out. This is simply because those around him assume that because he can work things out intelectually he understands them emotionally and he did not.

Clearly he's very bright but enjoy him for what he is without making comparisons with other children. I know it is pretty well unavoidable though!

Some things will seem to fade/reduce/alter. For example, his phenomenal memory will change as more and more experiences enter his memory so he will become more selective. One day you'll be quite shocked that he has forgotten something but it's only natural.

Whatever you're doing it is working so continue. Lots of books, games, conversation, number puzzles etc. Above all - fun.

And don't over-think it. Just enjoy each day of him.
(He'll be a surly teenager before you know it!)

squidgy, I don't agree that it depends on the school. All state schools fail all intelligent children. Every. Single. One.

Disclosure: After five years of trying to get my "gifted" children the right attention in state schools, becoming a G&T expert, being actively involved with schools in various capacities etc., I'm now an ardent advocate of home education for those parents who can afford it. It's better than state, it's better than private. It's better than those two even if the parents have less than a couple of O levels between them and no teaching experience!

The whole state education system is designed not to benefit children, but to benefit "the system" and the politicians. Intelligent children are the ones worst served.

Our system bunches children together based on the DOB, teaches them a fixed curriculum detached from each individual's natural pace of development in different areas ...and is one in which every child matters unless s/he is intelligent. I know many here are happy with the schools their children are in and good luck to them. I'm convinced those children would learn more, have more fun and have better social skills if they were promptly removed from the inefficient barriers to learning that we call schools. I also believe that if many of those parents - not all, I'd admit - researched HE in some depth they'd be convinced too.

I'd echo witchwith all's advice.

Compared with his some of his female peers ds1 was ahead intellectually, yet well behind socially and emotionally to some extent.
Because he was so articulate I used to expect a bit too much from him.

Your ds sounds fab. Enjoy it.
I'd say to try new things once in a while, for your sake and his - museums, different activities etc

It really does depend on the school. My DD was miserable and bored in one primary until we moved her to another and the difference was dramatic. That move set her up nicely for secondary school - a perfectly ordinary state comp where she did extremely well - and she is now studying medicine.

The early trouble, I'm sure, was to do with her very precise speech and extensive vocabulary. The other children in her reception class just didn't communicate in the same way and she was alienated. The teachers in that school had low expectations of their vocabulary. She quickly learned to keep her mouth shut.

The new school had a totally different approach and the staff introduced new words as a matter of course so DD felt at home there immediately. Suddenly she was being stretched in every subject and she revelled in it. It was as though she had had an intravenous shot of confidence. It was - and still is - a very fine example of a state primary school.

OP, he sounds just like my two DDs - they are now 8 and 10, are both working 2 to 3 years ahead of their ages, supported by very good state schools in our area who really understand how to deal with very bright children.

But that's all they are - bright. They aren't going to take GCSEs at 8 and go to university at 12, which is great - they'll do well and still get to be children.

You sound like a lovely mum who is doing everything right, keep at it!