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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

What were the very first signs of your child being G&T?

63 replies

PoseyFossil · 06/01/2011 11:43

If you have a G&T child . . . if you look back at their babyhood were there any early signs?

OP posts:
GooseyLoosey · 11/01/2011 08:57

ds had poor fine motor skills as a baby and was late to sit and hold his head up. His talking though was fantastic. He was not particularly early to read. He also never integrated well with his peers and vastly preferred interacting with adults. He was not an easy baby.

squidgy12 · 11/01/2011 09:05

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magicmummy1 · 11/01/2011 19:02

"And imho there is no direct correlation between giftedness and being emotionally difficult: some gifted children have frequent meltdowns, some non-gifted children have frequent meltdowns, some gifted children are also socially gifted so rarely need to go into meltdown. I reckon it's more a question of temperament."

I agree with what cory is saying here. My dd is probably what you would describe as "socially gifted" in addition to the cognitive bit, and I certainly wouldn't describe her as "emotionally difficult". A bit like squidgy's ds, I'd challenge anyone to find a happier child! (squidgy - your ds and my dd sound like they'd get on great! Grin)

Having said that, on the odd occasions when dd does get upset, she seems to feel it very intensely! There is no such thing as a minor upset....

cory · 12/01/2011 09:10

I find it particularly interesting to see this in my family: my mum is very shy and struggles with feelings of social inadequacy, she is emotionally volatile and (at least in her younger days) prone to meltdowns; she is also undeniably gifted. So it would be very tempting to see her social difficulties as a result of her giftedness. Except that her eldest son is very like her in temperament- and is not at all gifted. Nor has he inherited her musicality.

Her definitely gifted (and musical) younger son is comparatively placid.

So it's seems that in our case they are separate traits that happen to be combined in one person: one of them was handed down to one son and the other to the other.

Fivefingers · 14/01/2011 13:45

Okay I suppose I must have been influenced by the literature I've come across regarding G & T, thinking that all G & T children face emotional problems. Perhaps its just me and a few others! I Googled "emotional intelligence correlation giftedness" and found this research article about emotional intelligence in gifted children and found it an interesting read, thought I'd just share it on here for anyone interested :

www.teachingexpertise.com/articles/emotional-intelligence-in-gifted-and-talented-children-2865

"Emotional intelligence in gifted and talented children

Do G&T children have more than their fair share of social-emotional difficulties? Kalliope Emmanouilidou looks into the research and challenges some stereotypical views

Interviewing for a research project on the learning profile of G&T children, I asked ?Do you often put your hand up to answer the teacher?s question??. The child surprisingly answered ?no?. He justified his reply by explaining that he wanted to give the other children the opportunity to learn, too! He was just six years old and nominated by his teacher as academically gifted. I was intrigued to find out if this child was gifted in a social-emotional sense ? and whether all gifted children have such attributes, especially when the literature suggests that they only face difficulties in this area.

Relevant literature and research findings
Research findings suggest that gifted individuals have some negative social-emotional attributes:
The gifted are more prone to adjustment difficulties: low self-esteem, competitiveness, perfectionism, depression, and envy (eg, Masse & Gagne, 2002; Plucker & Stocking, 2001; Robinson & Noble, 1987).
Their feelings of being different lead to interpersonal conflicts and emotional complications (McLeod & Cropley, 1989).
Their peers describe them as being eccentric, socially isolated, snobbish, physically meek, etc. (eg, Coleman, 1985; McLeod & Cropley, 1989).
The high expectations from parents, teachers, and peers for excellence create pressure (Coleman, 1985; Roedel, 1986); also, their success is often taken for granted and they frequently don?t receive the much-needed positive feedback (Clinkenbeard, 1991).
When high expectations are not met, they experience deflated academic self-esteem, stress, depression, and poor adjustment to the classroom (McMann & Oliver, 1988).

Common attitudes and the media
Apart from the literature, there are common attitudes in everyday life that create stereotypes of the gifted population having social and emotional difficulties. During my work, I have gathered such ?gems? from discussions with non-specialists (some of them also come from specialists, too!), that can be classified under two categories.

?Pseudo-psychological? beliefs:
?gifted individuals have emotional problems because their gift causes misbalance?
?the gifts of the gifted are developed to make up for their deficits, as a defence?
?giftedness and craziness are very close?.

?Pseudo-philosophical/theological? beliefs:
?when you are so talented, you can?t be totally happy?
?you can?t have everything in life?
?God gave them a difficult mission?.

The media, too, love the image of the gifted and talented having social and emotional difficulties. In fact, the images of the ?tortured? artists and mad scientists are two of the most favourite and well-received images in the media. The best-selling stories of George Best, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley, Truman Capote, Vincent Van Gogh, and, more recently, of troubled Britney Spears, Whitney Houston or Pete Doherty, show that ?falling stars? are very popular with the tabloids. One favourite phrase often met in these stories is that they were ?punished for their success?, implying that someone who has done well in financial, professional (and often sexual) terms, can?t possibly have happiness as well ? this would be completely unfair!

What is emotional intelligence?
As a specific psychological construct, emotional intelligence was studied initially by Mayer, Salovey and Caruso (1999). However, it was with Daniel Goleman?s book that it gained wide popularity as a concept and was received with great enthusiasm by those becoming increasingly judgemental of intelligence testing and the cognitive aspects of intelligence. What does this concept refer to? According to Goleman, emotional intelligence is ??the capacity for recognising our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves and for managing emotions effectively in others and ourselves.? Mayer, Salovey and Caruso define it as a set of abilities to:
accurately perceive emotions in oneself and others
use emotions to facilitate thinking
understand emotional meanings
manage emotions.

Bar-On (1997) defines the emotionally intelligent person as being: ?...generally optimistic, flexible and realistic and fairly successful in solving problems and coping with stress without losing control.?

Although there is an increasing body of research on emotional intelligence, there are problems with scientific validity due to disagreement on how to define EI, and how to accurately measure it. Other criticism refers to potential overlap with the personality construct and a very strong argument suggests that social and emotional competences may vary a lot across cultures, since the definitions used so far are based mostly on western values.

Relationship between ?intelligences?
A study performed for a doctoral degree at the University of Exeter asked 98 primary school teachers from across the UK to fill in a multiple intelligences checklist for children in their class, whom they thought of as being socially and emotionally gifted. This study aimed to explore the relationship of interpersonal and intrapersonal intelligence (which more or less correspond to what is included in the broad concept of ?emotional intelligence?) with the other intelligences, to give evidence of the socio-emotional abilities in relation to the other areas of competence.

The results of this study show that there was a positive, medium correlation among all areas of ability (?intelligences?). A factor analysis showed that the interpersonal and the intrapersonal intelligences, as described in this instrument, were not clearly separated and there was a lot of overlap between them. This makes sense, as the way one feels about oneself is reflected onto social behaviour and, similarly, social interactions have an impact on the intrapersonal abilities. These findings suggest that the inter/intrapersonal abilities correlated with other intelligences. In simple words, the children nominated by their teachers as socially-emotionally gifted showed high ability in other areas.

Emotional literacy inventory to identify social-emotional giftedness
The teachers were also asked to fill in an emotional literacy inventory for the same nominated children and 11 teachers volunteered to take part. They nominated in total 28 children as being socially and emotionally gifted. The aim of this stage of the study was a) to check if the emotional literacy scores would validate the teachers? original nominations and b) to explore the assessment from other sources (parents, self). The scores from the emotional literacy checklists used (Southampton Psychology Service 2003), did not justify the teachers? choices: in addition, significant differences were noticed across the scores that teachers, parents and the pupils gave. These discrepancies may have occurred because of the difficulty in observing social behaviour in large and busy classrooms, lack of time to observe, and to the fact that most teachers have not received training on emotional literacy.

Importance of emotional intelligence of gifted individuals
To return to the importance of the emotional competences of the gifted individuals, this particular population has additional needs. The theory of the over-excitabilities described by Dabrowski offers a greater understanding of the sensitivities and strengths of the gifted individuals.

To be gifted and talented often means that both senses and emotions are more acute, and this can be a two-sided coin. On the one hand, these individuals can have social and emotional gifts, and on the other hand they may be more prone to suffer from difficulties in these areas.

To use an example, Jeremy, one of the children of Joan Freeman?s (2001) sample in a follow-up interview as an adult confessed the difficulty of bearing the label of ?gifted?:

?Being labelled gifted has distorted my life. From the age of seven, my all-consuming thoughts were ?Why am I so unhappy?? My gifts were associated with negative emotions. Alongside them were awful deficiencies in other areas which were exacerbated by my being seen as gifted. On the one hand I took pleasure in the applause and admiration that gave me a false confidence, but my personality problems ran alongside and were never noticed?.

Of course, social and emotional difficulties experienced by gifted children and adults may not just be the result of inherent characteristics of their giftedness. There is a variety of external factors, too, that can facilitate the flourishing of gifts or bring a negative influence (see table below).

External social and emotional influencesPositive influences Negative influences
Good, supportive provision in school, with lots of opportunity to develop and achieve, and appropriate recognition Frustration from limited resources and lack of provision
Stable family life providing love and security Family problems (bereavement, divorce, etc)
Adequate finance/resources for everyday needs and additional learning opportunities (eg school outings, membership fees) Disadvantaged socio-economical background
Reliable friendships Rejection from peers, bullying
Good health; stamina, vitality Illness (physical, mental)

Conclusions
It seems that the gifted and talented population is a complex one in terms of their social and emotional abilities profile. On one hand, they may have increased leadership skills, be able to work in an independent way, be self-critical and able to motivate themselves; the gifted and talented often have a great ability to empathise with others, are sensitive, dedicated and have a great sense of justice. On the other hand, they are often perceived as being perfectionists, isolated, over-reacting, difficult individuals who find it hard to handle their difference and create a healthy social life. It?s all about difference, actually, and how both the person and the environment encounter this difference.

As a result, what is needed is close monitoring of children?s emotional state and social life, at home and at school, so that possible problems are identified early on. In this way, possible gifts in these areas can be enhanced and developed further and any problems can be addressed. For this to act effectively, relevant training on EI is essential for teachers, to enable them to recognise both gifts and difficulties and develop strategies for helping young people to come to terms with ?being different?.

References
Bar-On, R (1997) EQ-i: BarOn Emotional Quotient Inventory, Toronto, Canada: Multi-Health Systems.
Clinkenbeard, P R (1991) ?Unfair expectations: A pilot study of middle school students? Comparisons of gifted and regular classes?, Journal for the Education of the Gifted, 15, 56?63.
Coleman, LJ (1985) Schooling the Gifted, Knoxville, TN: Addison-Wesley.
Freeman, J (2001) Gifted Children Grown Up, London: David Fulton Publishers.
Goleman, D (1995) Emotional Intelligence, London: Bloomsbury Publishing.
Masse, L, and Gagne, F (2002) ?Gifts and talents as sources of envy in high school settings?, Gifted Child Quarterly, 46, 15?29.
Mayer, JD, Caruso, D, and Salovey, P (1999) ?Emotional intelligence meets traditional standards for an intelligence?, Intelligence, 27, 267?298.
McLeod, J, and Cropley, A (1989) Fostering Academic Excellence, Oxford: Pergamon Press.
McMann, N, and Oliver, R (1988) ?Problems in families with gifted children: Implications for counselors?, Journal of Counseling and Development, 66, 275?278.
Plucker, JA, and Stocking, VB (2001) ?Looking outside and inside: Self-concept development of gifted adolescents?, Exceptional Children, v67, 534-48.
Robinson, NM, and Noble, KD (1987) ?Social-emotional development and adjustment of gifted children?, in MC Wang, MC Raynolds, and HJ Walberg (eds) Handbook of Special Education: Research and Practice, vol 4, 57?76 Oxford: Pergamon Press.
Roedel, W C (1986) ?Socioemotional vulnerabilities of young gifted children?, Journal of Children in Contemporary Society,
18, 17?29.
Southampton Psychology Service, Adrian Faupel (ed) (2003) Emotional Literacy ? Assessment and Intervention, NFER Nelson."

BlueberryPancake · 04/02/2011 13:13

Many parents here mention that their DS/DD started talking early and were very articulate at a young age. DS started talking at 3 and I'm sure he has a 'gift' (as opposed to G&T) with maths. He could do very advanced puzzles very early on, oculd concentrate on one toy for a very long time, and when I started reading books to him he would point at the page number instead of the image. The first words he used was to count the stairs, and he used to constantly point at the numbers (as opposed to the letters) on numberplates, from the day he could walk. He is now only 3 years old and he can easily see paterns in numbers (for example, if we walk down the road he will point at door number and say 167, the next door he will say 165, then he will say 'next door, 163?). The other day he asked me 'what's two twos?' and I explained to him with some lego what were two twos. After about 30 seconds he looked at me and said 'so ten tens makes one hundred?'

He didn't babble like a normal baby, didn't say a single word before he was two and a half, and then only had two words for ages (Mum and Yes). Only at three did he started to say proper words.

He is still delayed in his speech and goes to a special language development unit.

I can see that there is a relation between bright children who speak early, but some children who speak late I believe develop different skills and slow speech shouldn't be considered as a sign of low 'intelligence'.

mollymole · 04/02/2011 14:48

he could speak in sentances from 8 months old
VERY amusing when strangers spoke to him in his pram and he 'answered back' and could read books at 3
also when in primary he won the whole school
cross country race as a 1st year (when most of the little ones only ran about 50 metres) he ran and won over 1.2k

madwomanintheattic · 04/02/2011 15:03

blueberry - dd2 has cp and we were told wouldn't be verbal at all. her speech was very delayed and dysarthric, but in yr r they assessed her as working at 12yo in some areas of the curriculum. totally agree that alertness/ early speech are not necessarily markers of anything but alertness and early speech. Grin

dd1 is coded at her school for g&t (it's a different system here, they sit tests etc because it's a provincial programme) but she is the only one who i would consider is clever because she works hard, not because of her innate ability.

ds1 is a pita. he is undergoing some med trials for adhd type stuff, but asd and odd have also been mentioned. nothing fits really. yesterday his teacher and the school counsellor suggested it's more of an einstein thing (tee hee). and that really we shouldn't medicate and just let him be and see what happens.

madwomanintheattic · 04/02/2011 15:05

when i say 'see what happens' they of course mean 'run around like a maniac trying to get him to the right place at the right time' - 'you can do that, mrs madwoman, can't you?'

squidgy12 · 05/02/2011 11:39

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squidgy12 · 05/02/2011 11:48

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pippop1 · 11/02/2011 12:29

Mine told me that the middle number in all the world was zero. He was five and a half. I had to confirm it with DH as it was something I'd never thought about.

He used to dictate poems to me to write down before he could write himself age 3.

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