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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

What were the very first signs of your child being G&T?

63 replies

PoseyFossil · 06/01/2011 11:43

If you have a G&T child . . . if you look back at their babyhood were there any early signs?

OP posts:
strandednomore · 08/01/2011 20:39

Ouch. That must have been painful (the violin).

cory · 09/01/2011 08:34

What's the state of your fanjo, bruxeur?

WinkyWinkola · 09/01/2011 08:37

Grin So funny.

MargaretGraceBondfield · 09/01/2011 08:42

Be careful what you wish for, none of my super gifted friends have ended up as successful, by any measure, to my 'average' friends.

MarshaBrady · 09/01/2011 08:51

I would love to meet a one year old baby that can speak in full sentences. I cannot imagine it. My one year old says eh or yah or mama (babbles a lot).

BelleDameSansMerci · 09/01/2011 08:59

Fivefingers - my DD sounds very similar to yours (although she doesn't sound quite so fiery). I hadn't really considered whether she might be gifted (she's only 3), I realise she is quite bright but don't really know what, if anything, to do about it.

I would imagine that it must be quite difficult having a truly gifted child. I've said all along that I hope she's bright but not gifted. I think it must be terribly frustrating for the child if they're not sufficiently engaged/challenged at school etc. I'm rambling (as usual).

MarshaBrady · 09/01/2011 09:03

NonodyisSomebody do you mean sentences on first birthday,

Can you remember what was said, did your DD/ds say 'can I have a piece of cake mummy?'

MargaretGraceBondfield · 09/01/2011 09:04

My child, not G&T, spoke in four and five word sentences at 13 months,. Just brain mapping early for language for us.

LilyBolero · 09/01/2011 09:19

There's very little point looking for early signs imo. You will always find;

  1. baby who did everything early, talked early, walked early, is genius
  2. baby who did everything late, late to talk, walk, potty train, is genius
  3. baby who did everything early, is average
  4. baby who did everything late, is average

Just enjoy the moment you're in, and don't fret about whether or not they're G&T. It's only a label. And children all develop at different rates and different times. An early developer may disappoint if you have them marked down for genius, a late developer may surprise if you write them off.

Out of my kids, ds1 was average to early, he is very bright, near the top of his class, I have no idea if he is labelled as G&T, he could be, but he is in a bright class, so who knows.

Dd - very early developer, talked at 9 months clearly and coherently. She is very very bright, and also talented at creative and performing arts. Again, no idea if she is labelled as such, but would be suprised if not.

Ds2 - very late developer, didn't talk until 3, didn't walk until 2, but as part of a study was put in top 1% of population for numeracy. Who knows how he will develop!

squidgy12 · 09/01/2011 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

hatsybatsy · 10/01/2011 10:38

think lilybolero has hit the nail on the head.

my MIL once claimed that she had always known dh would be bright as he had never slept as a baby - she was quite offended when I laughed out loud.

all this talk of alert babies - i really don't think there's anything in it? dd was v alert as a newborn but ds was just sleepy - that just reflects their birth experiences - certainly has no bearing on the individuals they are today.

nobodyisasomebody · 10/01/2011 11:05

NonodyisSomebody do you mean sentences on first birthday,

Can you remember what was said, did your DD/ds say 'can I have a piece of cake mummy?

I have a video of him just before first birthday saying something like

"Look at that Red robin over there. The moon has gone to sleep"

He spoke first words well before three months. Things like Hello and Goodbye, cold,hot and things like that.

He was asking questions by eighteen months in full sentences.

MarshaBrady · 10/01/2011 14:24

Wow. Just wow and impressive
I have dreams about my baby talking and that is kind of odd. But to actually have a talking 3 month/ one year old. Amazing!

Glad you got a video of it for prosperity.

nobodyisasomebody · 10/01/2011 14:57

I have videos and pictures of lots of his early things. I happened to capture them in the normal course of events.

In one he is babbling away to a friend while in his car seat and focusing intensely. Looking at the date he is 8 weeks old.

When he had that photo taken at hospital, the one that you pay for the photographer said, "wow, that baby is communicating" He was 2 or 3 days old then.

sethstarkaddersmum · 10/01/2011 15:06

dd was some time between 1 and 18 months, probably around 15 months, when she said (while being carried along the seawall at Scarborough in a backpack) 'Please Mummy Daddy, down.'
and (when she was being grumpy that day and we said 'Come on DD, you like the seaside!'):
'Mummy like seaside. Daddy like seaside. DD no like seaside.'

I was pretty impressed by her withering tone of voice and her psychological perception but she was our first baby so I didn't realise how unusual it was.

she's not gifted though I don't think - doing well at school (Y1) but no signs of outstandingness.

hatsybatsy · 10/01/2011 16:00

ROFL at the idea that you thought the photographer was being serious. and Shock that you now repeat that quote to complete strangers...

JoanofArgos · 10/01/2011 16:06

To paraphrase a guest on an early Alan Partridge, I leant over her crib and said: 'who does mummy love? who? who?' and she came back with 'WHOM does Mummy love, WHOM, WHOM?' Wink

Seriously though, being 'gifted and talented' is not an absolute - it's just what every school will say the top 5 (I think? Might be top 2?) % of the kids in a class. So anecdotal evidence might not really tell you whether your kid is or not. Depends more which school he/she ends up at!

TheManWhoSoldtheWorld · 10/01/2011 16:29

That sounds like my grandmother's ominous "he/she has been here before" phrase.

nobodyisasomebody · 10/01/2011 17:29

Hatsybatsy, she meant that he had a knowing, seen it all before look. She wasn't the only one.

He was born an old man.

imustbemadasaboxoffrogs · 10/01/2011 17:47

I've just had a sample with my DD who is 8.

She walked late fwiw.

Mum did you know that germs poo and it's the poo that makes you sick.

Why why why would she feel the need to know this???

Confused
Ingles2 · 10/01/2011 17:59

Ds1 did everything very early as well, but it wasn't until he started drawing that we sat up and paid attention. He drew with perspective from really early.
Got to agree with Pag though, My ds2 is much the happier child.

TheManWhoSoldtheWorld · 10/01/2011 21:47

Well nobodyisasomebody, all of my DC are genii in that case, as several people have referred to each of them as having a "a knowing, seen it all before look".

Perhaps old people just like saying stuff like that?

magicmummy1 · 10/01/2011 23:49

DD was exceptionally alert from birth, and started social smiling at around a week old. My mother insisted it was wind until she actually saw her. :)

She was also obsessed with books by around 3 months, and had a particular favourite that would get her very excited. And like many others on here, she was very verbal from a very early age, and she was speaking in proper sentences by around 14 months. Her physical development was very average, however - certainly nothing to write home about, and still isn't. She takes after her mother! Grin

Oh, and she never slept either! Wink

Fivefingers · 11/01/2011 01:57

BelleDameSansMerci : I don't think gifted children are easy at all and the progress that my DD has made in terms of her cognitive abilities and her thinking abilities and the level of comprehension of things have been quite unpredictable i.e. she gains knowledge and thinking ability in spurts and its sometimes quite difficult to keep up as I'd get used to her being this way over the last few months then suddenly she's sort of different. The tempers are phenomenal. She's just turned 4 a few months ago, so really you'd think she'd have outgrown her "terrible twos" phase, but no...

Yesterday DD had a complete meltdown / totally flipped over a bowl of cereal (I gave her Cheerios and she said actually she wanted Cookie Crisp). She was raging like crazy, was impossible to console, and was just thrashing about in anger on the floor and managed to get carpet burn on one of her ankles. If I went near her she'd kick me, hard. When she's like this, nothing can stop it unless I do exactly what she says. I said there's no way I'm going to pour out the cereal and make another bowl just because she's throwing a tantrum about it. It was only a bowl of cereal, and she normally eats Cookie Crisp too, so I really couldn't understand why she flipped. She calmed down after about 20 minutes of this, and I went over and hugged her and assured her its okay... and she made her way to the table and finished her bowl of (already soggy) Cookie Crisps within minutes. And for the rest of the day I still felt a bit shaken by that enormous temper display. It was just at the back of my mind all day and I kept thinking should I have done different - given in to her demands, or was that alright to have let her emotions fly, peak, and blow over in its natural course. She was nice and quite placid the rest of the day and almost like a different child, and that's her really, temper-wise.

She didn't like nursery at all btw. I did try to put her in for a few months last year, but she soon started protesting against going. She said she didn't like nursery because its boring or (I think) she felt that she wasn't getting the attention she needed. She also had difficulty finding friends in nursery for some reason, and her advancedness actually put her at a disadvantage in a school environment because she had the level of comprehension of a much older child and there just wasn't any child in her nursery who could communicate and play with her on that level - whereas at home she had her elder sis who is years older than her and they get on well. One day on her way to nursery she asked me if she could be homeschooled - she must have picked up the word somehow, perhaps overhearing me and DH's conversation, as I was contemplating homeschooling last year as eldest was struggling in school due to undiagnosed SEN (suspected ASD and selective mutism) and was being targeted and bullied to no end and was so afraid of going to school her attendance was poor and the school wasn't very helpful. So I eventually took the plunge and took both DDs out of school/nursery. Older DD has been much happier child since and younger gifted DD, well, apart from the temper tantrums, she is doing well and is able to follow her unusual course of interests (she was obsessed about volcanoes a few days ago). She's starting to read these days and writing words and things. She's asking harder and harder stuff these days to the point where we actually have to research some of it before we can answer it. Hopefully once she learns to read then she can satisfy herself with reading books of interest on her own and not rely so much on an adult to do the reading for her.

I find having a gifted child a very hard job. My gifted child at least, has been very hard to manage on the emotional side of things. If you are wondering if your DD may be gifted, the Ruf's Estimates Levels of Giftedness checklist on the NAGC website can help you. The website is currently down at the moment, but I found a copy of it here : www.dirhody.com/discanner/levels.htm A book I'd recommend for parents of gifted children is "The Parent's Guide to Gifted Children" by James T Webb et. al. . It helped me understand a lot more about the emotional difficulties gifted children face. Gifted children are older brains trapped in a baby's body, and they experience a lot of frustration because they want to do certain things or make things a certain way but because of their age or limits, they can't and feel quite powerless to change things. And emotionally they are still very baby-ish even though they seem very advanced in other areas, and people are't always aware of this - they treat them like adults and expect them to behave with emotional maturity. I have learnt not to treat my DD's emotional upheavals as a negative thing but rather as a consequence of her giftedness and I try to sympathise with her though its tricky doing that whilst not becoming a push-over for an obviously savvy child who can eventually be clever enough to manipulate people - I find giftedness can be a bit scary.

cory · 11/01/2011 08:49

I come from a large extended family, some gifted children, some not gifted and every shade between; I've also seen a fair few other children in my day.

And imho there is no direct correlation between giftedness and being emotionally difficult: some gifted children have frequent meltdowns, some non-gifted children have frequent meltdowns, some gifted children are also socially gifted so rarely need to go into meltdown. I reckon it's more a question of temperament.

In my own family, it was the least gifted child who was also the most emotionally volatile and the most socially insecure. He did not have any learning difficulties, was just fairly average, did well enough but was not outstanding- but he always seemed less happy and secure than his more gifted brothers- still does in his fifties.

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