How do you know if your child is gifted? And if they are what should you do?

[seshi]

Hi I have long suspected that my DS is a clever little thing. He knew all his alphabet by 2 and could count to 30 before 2 as well. He has a very long memory and remembers things that happended ages ago. He is 4 in Jan and is now really into spelling. Last night we counted all the words he can spell (just 3 or 4 letter ones nothing major!) But he can now easliy spell about 20-25 words. He is a sociable boy, and on every other level is just like any other 3 year old. Naughty, loves all the usual stuff etc etc. So what want to know is how do you know if you have just got a bright little thing or if they are gifted? And if you think they are what if anything should you do? Feel to embarrassed to talk to friends as they may just think I am bragging :(

I'd wait until he gets to school since then you'll have a way of benchmarking. DS1 is very bright and in particular is very good at reading and spelling but when he started school I realised that lots of the children are. One boy was free reading books like harry potter when he started reception!

Can you just do other things with him and encourage his desire to learn? Is he reading full books? Can you do some basic maths?

Hi yes he has done some basic maths .... but he is really into spelling now. I try and spend some time with him each day but also very aware that he should be out and about doing play stuff as well. Being a boy! But I just want to make sure I am nurturing whatever talents he has! Do you use any particular books with your little one?

Mind you free reading Harry Potter...that little one must be a genius!

or just a very early reader!

lots of so-called geniuses don't live up to early promise which is why it's important not to label them as 'gifted' too soon and just on the basis on them doing stuff early; a child doing stuff very early is likely to be very bright but you don't want them to risk going through life with a sense of failure if they turn out to be Merely A Bit Clever rather than superbrainy.

there was some research a few months back that suggested early labelling as gifted can be the worst thing you can do to a child.

do encourage the learning and have fun with it but I wouldn't get too hung up on whether he was bright or gifted if I were you. Plenty of time for that later on if you feel his needs are not being met and you need a label to help you get them met.

and remember 'gifted' is subjective - people use the term differently.

With both DS1 (now 5) and DS2(3) I used the ORT Julia Donaldson songbird phonics books before they started school since they are purely phonetic and so they really encourage an early reader. DS2 loves the fact that he can read a whole book (even though there are only a few words on each page). DS1 got to stage 5 before starting school by using this series. We just did a little bit each day too. However there are many on here who completely disagree with using ORT books outside of school. I'm not quite sure why since nobody would suggest that they are a substitute for reading more detailed stories to your child.
Don't be embarrassed about it. Its great that he's interested in reading and it will give him a real head start at school.

Totally agree with seth - your little boy is four, and labels really aren't helpful at this age. He might be gifted (whatever that means!), he might be very bright, or he might just be average and an early starter. Does it really matter? Just go with the flow and follow his interests - if he wants to spell, fine, let him spell. But make sure he does plenty of other stuff too.

Incidentally, my dd could read virtually anything when she started reception, and I assure you, she is no genius!

Having grown up/been part of a large extended family where some children were gifted and some possibly not, I would say that ime the right approach is the same whether the child is gifted or not: introduce them to the books you think are really good, tell them things about the world that you find exciting, help them to find things out that they want to know. Ime whether they learn phonics at 3 or not is less important than whether they develop an attitude of wanting to know more- and that is something that grows the more you feed it. I have never been able to tell the difference between the children of my acquaintance who learnt to read at 3 and those who learnt to read at 6- but I certainly can tell the difference between the ones who had interesting things to read about and the ones who didn't.

As hard as it is, I would not brag to anyone about his skills and abilities. It will alienate you and you will lose friends. People hate other parents talking about their kids, its like no mans land, you must never admit you are proud.

Just enjoy hims and dont hot house him because you know he has skills and abilities. Let him play and learn and develop, you will have a much happier child in the long run. You can develop and nuture his abilities softly.

there are lots of kids that can do what you mention, and a lot of parents want to push this on to the next stage, which means when they get to school they get bored, and then labelled or develop bad behaviour.

Truly gifted children are out of the spectrum and they will have certain behaviourial skills that are way outside the norm. There are lists on the internet that compare gifted to bright children and there is a huge difference.

A lot of kids seem to go on a G&T register early on, but this doesnt always follow through the school. Different teachers and schools have different views. A bright child in one school may seem average in another.

mOST of all, enjoy these early years, time passes too quickly.

Feed their brain with stuff they are interested in, and stuff they might like. Visits, books, materials, experiences and all of it for fun, not to hothouse.
And patience, so when they are flailing and yelling and you want to roar 'Act your age' and you realise that they are.
If your child is gifted rather than just bright, you will need a lot of patience. It really isn't an easy special need to cope with, not for you or the child.

Just found a great spelling app for ipod touch. I pods are amazing for little ones - they love 'playing' but if you chose the right apps they're learning spelling, reading, maths, telling the time.

KATTT - which app? And what kind of level is it pitched at? Thanks, I have a 6 year-old who loves her Dad's i-phone!

Lovecheese

One's called This Weeks Words. You put in the words yourself, so you can choose appropriate words.

It will then read them out. First practice it asks the child to recognise the words. Second practice it asks the child to fill in missing letters from the words. Third practice is to spell it.

Another one that's good is Kids Time Fun - it does everything from straightforward telling the time, to matching up digital and analogue information, to answering, 'what the time will be in 45 minutes?'

I use these with the 4 year old and the 7 year old, just on different difficulty settings.

Thanks KATTT

I think Cory has given the best advice. Encourage an enquiring mind. Provide interesting fun books and read them together and talk about anything and everything. DD refused to try and read or write before going to school, did very little except stare at all the other children in reception class but then settled into school nicely. She was "tagged" as G & T" at about 14 years old. Her school did provide some additional opportunities for the G & T group but nothing exceptional. I agree it's not a great idea to label children at a very early age (imo).

Agree with Pixie and magicmummy and Cory.

I know of a boy who was 'off the scale' at 3 and predicted to be straight A* student all the way through. By the time he took his GCSE's, he achieved half a dozen very ordinary results.

Life is about more than league tables and IQ.

ps I would also say that if they are real friends, they should be pleased for your DS. I am delighted to hear about my friends' DCs achievements, academic or otherwise, though I would hesitate to mention unusual things my DS has done if talking with acquaintances.

I'm sad that we live in a society that feels uneasy about celebrating excellence.