Extension work?

[GooseyLoosey]

My son (7) has always been regarded as a bright child. Because of concerns about his social integration, he was assessed by an ed psych at the end of the last school year. The ed psych came back and said that the problems were because he was "exceptionally gifted" and had "very superior cognitive abilities" and should be working about 7 years ahead of his peer group.

Clearly the 7 year thing is nuts and we have no desire to accelerate him through school. I really just want him to be happy. However, I am wondering, what if anything the school should be doing for him.

Since he went back to school, each week the teacher has said to us on Fri, "the homework is far too easy for ds, you may want to do something more challenging". No problem - we did but ds clearly only wanted to do the set homework and did not want to have to something more than his friends. She has also said that when she set work in class, ds finished in in 5 mins (instead of the 30 allotted) and then instead of expanding on it, he played - the teacher said that she told him she was disappointed in him. She says that she leaves it to him to push things as far as he wants to go but ds is fairly lazy (true).

Does this sound OK? TBH, I have lost all perspective when dealing with ds and no longer know when to intervene and when not to.

TBH I'd be quite upset with the teacher about the homework issue. she shouldn't be setting the same homework as the rest of the class and then expecting YOU to pick up the slack (i.e. extending it) - I mean, obviously you should do stuff at home with him, but the teacher surely should be able to differentiate and set him more difficult HW?!

maybe if the teacher set more difficult work, rather than you having to tell him to do more, he would actually do it?

Thanks - that's kind of what I thought - she thinks he is lazy but is leaving him to motivate himself and at 7, I think he needs some help with this in the class room.

he's 7, and very few 7 year olds are going to be able to set their own extension work if they finish set work early. Similarly, at this age, Mrs X has far more control over school and homework than mum or dad.

IME if the school want him to be stretching himself, and doing more/different homework, then they need ot be explaining how to do this to him (eg at DDs school, when they do a piece of writing, every child knows what needs to be done to achieve a higher level). So the teacher should be going through his writing or maths and showing him what she is expecting from him.

Similarly if they want him to do different homework, then they need to be setting him different homework. You need to have a proper talk with teh school about their provision, and keep on reminding them that he's 7 (and possibly emotionally younger, you mentioned social integration as being an issue)

You're right - he is not mature for his age at all and his efforts to make himself popular often involve him being class clown so he is not going to but his head down and work if no one has told him to.

Also, although we can do more with him, I worry that we have no idea whatsoever what is a good thing to do and what is not. Last week, their homework was about adding "ing" to words. We taught ds about the present participle and the past participle and the effect that each has on verbs. He goes back into school and talks about verbs and the present participle and the teacher tells him that that is not something they want to talk about as it confuses the others so clearly we haven't helped him at all.

I really, really do not want to be the mother there every week telling the school how much they should be doing for my clever child, but on the other hand I do not want him to become a bored, disaffected youf!

goosey your last post has made me a bit - WTF is the teacher doing? telling him to extend his own learning and then telling him not to?! FFS.

I understand you don't want to bug the teacher but you really need to. 7 years ahead isn't just bog-standard clever child who may plateau, he really needs proper extension and the teacher isn't providing it at all. being gifted to that level is an educational need, he has the right to as much help as a child struggling with dyslexia. does he have a statement/IEP thingy?

he is 7!
do they have a G&T co-ordinator or someone you can go and speak to?
The teacher sounds like she doesn't know what to do with him, and is trying to manage a class of 30 and hasn't got time [for him]. I don't think talking to her is going to help very much.

Thanks again. He does not currently have an IEP although the school are considering the possibility of putting one in place. As things stand, I doubt they will though.

The teacher's attitude is that now they are in juniors they need to be responsible for more for themselves. I get this and its a good thing, but I think expecting ds to do this straight off with no indications of how he can extrapolate the class work is unrealistic. In addition, the school has spent the last 3 years telling him that he has to do what the others do even if he is bored so independent thought has not exactly been encouraged.

I am frustrated - the school have no idea what he can do and have never allowed him to tell them - he has always been shushed because if they let him talk, other children don't get a chance. For example in IT, they were doing simple drawing, ds can programme fairly well but they don't know this and won't let him tell them. He has had access to all of the books in the school since he was 5 or 6 however no one has ever helped him choose them so he picks ones which are completely inappropriate (eg on teenage relationships or families breaking up) and as a result he no longer reads his school books because he hates them. Mmmm, the more I write, the more I think I do need to do something.

i'd try the head teacher?
our school has a G&T co-ordinator, does yours?

They are very coy about G&T and never mention it. I believe that the G&T co-ordinator is the head.

I find all of this very hard as I don't see my son as "exceptionally gifted" (and indeed was surprised by the assessment) so I can't really intuit what he needs.

same as ours. but there is one. make an appointment.

Really Pixie - what kind of things does the IEP deal with?

Goosey, the more you write, the more I am about the school your DS is at!

why do you think they won't give him an IEP? I would've thought that 7 years ahead (again, as opposed to 'normal' cleverness of a couple of years ahead) would count as SEN? not sure though as no experience with this personally.

how is the school in other ways? if things get really bad you may have to think about moving him to somewhere that can cater for him.

Ds has had problems at the school since the outset. He is perceived as loud and clearly does not really "get" what motivates other children. This has resulted in him being picked on and at one point quite badly bullied. All my interventions with the school have focused on this and, to be fair, they have tried to deal with this.

We have thought about moving him a lot, but ds has begged us not to. We live in a small tightly knit village community and the school is an important part of it.

School is in general very reluctant to engage in specific provision for individual children because, I belive, of costs.

Thanks Pixie - that was the ed pych's suggestion - he said ds would probably be better catered for in a highly selective independent school. I mentioned this to the head and she discouraged this as she said that teachers in the state primary sector tended to be better trained and have better ongoing support.

Is your child in a state school or a private school? I just ask as I wonder how much tuition would be available within the school for ds (none I suspect).

I worry about this a lot as at some point (because of his age within the year) ds will be held back to be with the lower class (school has 6 classes for 7 years and allocates pupils strictly on an age basis). I am not sure how he (or the other pupils) will survive the experience.

Hi GooseyLoosey,

I wanted to say that I feel for you and please update this thread as we are in a similar situation and it's been driving me nuts for 2 years now - I know what you mean as I too feel like I have lost all perspective and talk myself into leaving things until I see the situation precipitating and then it's back to crisis mode...

DD1 only in Y1 and we haven't had an IEP, but she sounds very much like your DS1 and it drives me and my DH nuts.

She is extremely sociable and flamboyant and loves to be accepted by her peer group. Her teachers (we moved her last year but exactly the same has happened in the new school) don't seem to TEACH her anything new or differentiate the work for her in any way.

They have also suggested that me and DH do extension work with her - and that approach is really hit and miss tbh for many many reasons.

I am seriously considering getting her a tutor at home, who will pick up where she is at and move her along at her own level - it will not be ideal for her to have to work after school at such a young age but I am at loss at what else to do :o(

Let us know how you get on, please, I need inspiration! :o)

emy/goosey I'm sure a tutor would be great but it seems such a shame that you have to resort to that. while of course as a parent you should be very involved in your child's learning, especially at such a young age, you should not have to take over the responsibility of the school (or indeed to pay for somebody else) - if you do that you may as well home educate (which may be a good option?).

it is really unfair for the teachers to expect your DCs to just sit tight and not mess about for six hours a day, and then for you to have to pick up their slack in the evenings and weekends. school shouldn't be a waste of time :(

like pixie said - book an appointment with the senco and class teacher to discuss appropriate differentiation and targeting via IEP.

how they do this is the school's business, but that they are doing it is yours. there will also be a school governor resonsible for sen - you need to find out who this and discuss the situation with them.

get hold of the most recent ofsted report and check what it says about g&t provision - or how they are ensuring the more able pupils are challenged. tbh some schools do take a little while to grasp dealing with more able children, but usually it does click into place with a bit of nudging. go to the school office (or website if they are all online) and get hold of the policies wrt both sen and g&t. see if they are being applied.

has the ed psych written a decent report for the school with suggestions on how to best support him?

i note he was first referred for social integration issues, so he should also have had an iep running for some time wrt this issue - it's not unusual for children to have iep's running at both ends of the spectrum - those where they are working above and below the expectations of their peer group. (and indeed he should be at school action plus for this issue - as they called in an external advisor for his problem) ask the senco to see the ieps she has been supervising wrt to the social difficulties. (i know the ed psych thinks they are to do with him being more able, but tbh school should still be setting targets and helping him to reach them).

concentrate on getting the school stuff sorted out, rather than organising out of school stuff (although you can do this as well obv)

mine liked 'explore learning' but it depends where you are in the country - they ran workshops etc as well. cheaper than a tutor, but quite regimented tbh, it was ok for a year or so.

all the schools have been fine tbh, once they have got a grip.

yes, i ignored that 'indie' stuff - for sen and learning disabilities, state is without doubt the best. for more able kids? nah. not in a hundred million years. that's not to say you can't get them to do their jobs, just that it isn't the norm for the provision to be on offer on a plate. in some places it is, and it should be, but usually you have to jostle a little before they realise what their responsibilities are. and then they are usually v good.

Thanks all for your help. Its so good to be able to talk about this without being labelled as the pushy parent from hell.

Ok Nick and Pixie, will gird my loins and arrange to see the head.

No IEP for social issues either - they refused for a long time to admit that there was a problem and it took so much effort, so many letters and meetings (plus ds being battered) to get to the point where they did. I cannot believe that I now have to start all over again.

Nothing in the ofsted report on challenging able children. They have been criticised in the past on the progress children make between Yrs 3 and 6. Can't find anything on the website either.

The ed pych's report did not have many very practical suggestions in. Accelerating him through school was one. Transferring him to an indepedent school was another. Differentiated work was suggested but without much guidance.

Although I understand that in an ideal world, the school should be providing him with everything appropriate for his leaning, what about getting a tutor for a while to help your DS learn more appropriately while you get things a bit more sorted out with the school?
It would help him see how he can extend his learning and also give you another independent viewpoint on his abilities and what kind of work the school should be providing. A good tutor should be able to match the learning to his young age and emotional development (eg more advanced concepts but still lots of learning through fun activities and games).

I know this isn't an option for some people though in these financially difficult days.

It is silly to expect a child of 7 to be able to extend their own learning without support and direction IMO. They are still only 7 despite their abilities! Their emotional development will most likely mean they need the same amount of support and direction as any other 7 year old - just on more advanced work!

Funny, the teacher calling a 7-year old lazy, when she is apparently too "lazy"/busy to provide him with differentiated homework. The school seem to be using the Ed Psych report at the moment as a good way of washing their hands of true responsibility for your ds (probably because they aren't sure how to deal with it) - as in, if his only problem is he's very clever, then he really ought to be able to get on with work by himself and stop disrupting the rest of the class...

To be honest, I don't really see the value in a psychologist's report that doesn't give advice on dealing with the particular child's personality, social and emotional skills. Having cognitive skills years ahead of your age, but social and emotional skills appropriate for, or possibly even slightly behind, the average child of your age, is going to cause problems that need to be dealt with rather than brushed under the carpet. In other words, uneven development causes problems - your ds shouldn't be treated as though his emotional and social skills are at the same level as his cognitive abilities, which is what the school seems to be expecting by requiring him to extend his work all by himself.

Of course the school should have one or two IEPs in place (preferably one for social and the other for intellectual), so that you and they have a proper system in place for identifying his strengths and weaknesses and setting targets for addressing those strengths and weaknesses within a particular time frame. Why should you accept your ds being unhappy and misunderstood at school?