In general do parents find that their bright children find it difficult to settle in once they start school?

[Again]

When people come across a child who is academically advanced before starting school they frequently remark that they will have problems adjusting to school because they will know everything already. In your experience is this actually true?

I would add that even I, a fluent reader with limited social skills, found school interesting and stimulating, because there were so many different things to learn and more adults to learn different things from.

cory for pope. Rah rah.

Nope. I'ev had 3 DC of varying candlepower and all of them have struggled to a greater or lesser extent. It's hard for most DC - starting school is a big ask for a 4yr old.

Any good school will set work that is appropriate to the child - even if they can read when they start reception.

There is so much to learn when they first start school and all children will settle in differently. The brighter children will absorb more in the first few weeks and will be challenged accordingly.

Agree with the comments about problems with socialisation - this can happen with children of all academic abilty and is not a signed of 'giftedness'.

Fijibird, similar exp here. In week one, teacher approached me to tell me that DS seemed quite happy to avoid the other children. He tried to integrate with them at first, but his language and thinking was beyond theirs. I was told that he spent his time either divising complicated sets of rules or excuses to spend break with adults.
Social side of school had been very difficult for him, both in the class at at breaktimes. He has always had an advanced understanding of fairness and justice, he couldn't accept the fickle and changing attitudes of the other children.
On the whole though I felt that was learning and the new experiences were valuable, even if now 5 years on we are Home Educating.

Bright DS1 had no trouble settling in school, loves the work and learing new stuff etc etc. School (state primary) have been brilliant in giving him stuff to do according to his level which in some subjects is ahead of his year. They have also been very good in recognising his 'weaknesses' (v dramatic, mistake = total disaster, hates it if a peer knows something he doesn't know).

DS2 is of more avarege academic ability and has had more problems enjoying school due to his shyness and lack of confidence ('I am stupid and ugly' ) and again school or rather his teachers of course have been quick of the mark to notice a problem and help him with it.

@ Hully's papal obsession - tread carefully, you have already been smout smote smitten smited .

perhaps the 'don't teach him numbers' comment was meant to suggest that he be taught something else, like how to listen, share, take turns, take an interest in others. These are the things a child needs good grounding in when they get to school. If they want to learn other things like numbers and reading, all well and good as long as it doesn't get in the way of these more important and time sensitive skills. If you don't learn these things young you will find it very difficult to catch up later.

When I struggled with sports or social issues as a child my mother would tell me 'it doesn't matter, you're bright' I know she wanted to protect me from feeling the failure but she did me no favours. I worked hard in my teens to find my way to social skills.

condoms at every corner, hully

But if he wants to count yoghurts on the table in preference to socialising, you should work on the socialising

To be honest the child who was taught numbers that I mentioned was four and I don't think she could count to more than 10. The parents suggested that the teacher said she would be very advanced, but perhaps the teacher meant 'give the poor kid a break'. It may have been the parents telling me off, when actually we haven't taught our ds other than to answer questions - he just picks it up himself. I do feel the glare of disapproval or have been told by relatives to teach him to kick a ball around instead so that he will mix with other children when he gets to school. But he is a very sociable 3 year old.

Oh he sounds great and so do you. DS (starting reception)can count well past ten (by the yoghurt pot method) and noone has said he's advanced. And FWIW he's loving school.

Sheesh.

Any kids who thinks he/she knows everything has got that idea from somewhere - i.e parents.

I blame the parents.

It's not for another 2 years anyway and I don't think that there's anything we can do other than to accept him for who he is at this particular moment in time.

Came a bit late to this discussion, but just wanted to say that my (bright) dd took to school like a duck to water when she started last year. Now in year 1, she has truly loved every minute of it. The school is great at providing differentiated work for her, and she has made tons of lovely little friends!

Same for my ds. His only dissapointment was that after one term of Year R he thought he would be going into Year 1 (and that all the children would not just him!). School is his world.

My DD has always positively thrived in school, she was reading fluently within weeks of starting school, but she was interested in everything.
My inlaws were shocked when she was reading words like architecture over DH's shoulder just after she started school. DH was filling in a family tree on his laptop. SIL muttered something along the lines that her DS's school didn't like them to be reading before they started.
I think people forget they are doing so much more than learning to read and write in infants.

I think it's a myth about schools disliking it when children start school already able to read - that certainly hasn't been our experience. Why on earth would they object????

My very bright DDs love school.

Brightness style varies just like personality style varies. Er, I am saying what cory just said.

But really, some bright children do the duckling-instant-joyous-swim thing (as do some perfectly average children) and some don't.

I think the only really fair thing to say is that the brighter a child is the more of a unique presentation he or she is going to be - so the more 'extreme' the issues (or non-issues) - ie, the more alienated they might be, or the more extraordinarily able to take everything & everyone & every subject in their stride.

(Disclosure: I have one at each end of the range. Luckily, they love each other.)

I do know another school in our area wasn't keen on children reading. They complained to DC's nursery that the children were too advanced when they started, so dcs nursery stopped one to one reading when DD was there. Another child who went to that school wasn't given any books and was told she had to wait until the others caught up.
My dcs preschool was really lovely and they weren't pushy.