My Above Average but not Truly Gifted Son

[chillikate]

I've almost been put off posting from reading some of the threads, but I hope that you will be gentle with me and help me as best you can. I am aware that this is a G & T forum, and that I am not talking about a truly G & T child, but I hope that you can empathise with some of my concerns.

My DS is ahead of his peers at nursery. I don't know how much by, but it is enough that it makes him very challenging to stimulate.

He is at a good nursery while I work and has been in nursery since 4 months old. At each age group he has gotten bored and naughty at the top end of the group.

His current situation is that he is due to start reception in Sept 2011 and is 3yrs 10 months. All of his friends left last week to start school as he has always tended to hand around with older kids. With these older kids he has more in common and is still at the brighter end of the spectrum.

My issue is that I really don't know how I will keep him stimulated until reception. The nursery are great but at nursery he plays at being boys, it is only at home that he seems to want to learn!!! Currently his favourite book is Jolly Phonics, he has me read it every night and the highlight of his evening is to play with his foam letters in the bath. He knows most of them and has started blending.

I just don't know what to do. My mum (a HV) thinks I should discourage him from learning to read, but I don't think I could if I wanted to!! But I'm frightenmed that if I encourage / support his development that we'll have really big problems at school.

Hes my first, I have no idea what ability kids have when they start school. I'm told that the aspiration is to have them writing their name before they start, and to be able to recognise a few letters. But what to I do if hes beyond that already and has a year to go.

And how do I choose the right school for a child who is above average?? I am sure that if he were below average that special needs facilities would exist, but what if he needs a little more??

I am frustrated to the point of wanting to scream.

There is no problem with him being able to read when he starts school. Lots of them can. It varies a great deal. They will differentiate the work for him. Go ahead if he is ready.

I wouldn't stress if I were you.
My ds1 is a clever little sausage too and is starting to read at 3.9 - he gets in the way when I am trying to do reading with dd (who is just starting year 1) and often shouts out the answers before her
I wouldn't call him challenging to stimulate though, as he stimulates himself.
I'm going to let him read as much as he wants for the next year (or not, if he gets bored and decides to do something else instead) and as for what will happen when he starts school if he can already read, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Go with the flow, HIS flow.

He won't be outside the typical range of abilities when he starts school and the nursery may well introduce more formal learning among his age group in preparation in the meantime. A good teacher can cater for all. Lots of schools use JP, if so it will be a smooth transition if he is familiar with it already as long as you are following it correctly and at his pace. If he enjoys hte soical side of nursery school I'm not sure why you think he needs more now. It will come when he is ready and at least you can be confident the capacity to learn and interest is there. Let him be the litle boy he still is.

Agree with the others, go with the flow. Lots of children know how to read when they start school (unsurprisingly given the age range, from only just 4 to very nearly 5). He will learn in good time that knowing something somebody else doesn't is no excuse for being naughty.

However, I would be wary of letting him get the idea that reading is the only learning that is worthwhile. There are hundreds of other things he could also be learning: cooking and baking (with a little help), using basic tools, identifying plants and bugs, singing, various forms of arts and crafts, various physical activities. He needs to get away from the idea that you can only enjoy associating with children who are at the same level as yourself in the very narrow field of reading. Though as you yourselk say that he seems happy just to be a boy at nursery, he is probably safe on that score. "Being a boy" involves vital of learning experience, and a lot of reception will be centered around this more informal learning.

I think let him learn at his own pace, if he does turn out to be well ahead when he goes to school, speak to his teachers and come up with a plan at the time.

For example, I was well ahead when starting primary school (my granny was a teacher and had taught me maths and reading... ). At first I was a bit bored and would cause distraction as I'd finish tasks early and then wander round, however the teachers then came up with the solution that if I finished early I was allowed to get a book out of the book box and read it.

Anyway, a year or so later I was no longer particularly far ahead. Children develop at different rates and schools are used to dealing with this.

I wouldn't worry about it. It's quite normal for some kids to be able to read well when they start school, and I'm sure that the teachers are used to it.

if he enjoys letters do more

if he liked jumping or drawing you wouldn't hesitate so no issue with following his interest

in any reception class there are children who can read and those who can't, in fact that's true of years 1 through to 3 reaally - by the time children are year 4 or 5 they all equalise in reading anyway and having started erly makes no difference to their abilities or intelligence levels

the best thing for kids is to follow their interests

i'm chortling away. but pix, they've all got different ages, they must be different posters.

am loving the behaviour links though.

wasted ten minutes replying to one of them, like, but hadn't noticed the others at that point.

meh.

op, if you are real, golly, little people are challenging, eh?

my dcs didn't have a problem being able to read when they got to school. there is such a huge range of ability in yr r that most things are possible, froma child who doesn't recognise his/ her name through to those who bring harry potter in their bags for something to do at breaktime. all will be catered for.

but don't 'teach' him. let him learn through play as he's doing already.

(and get some decent bed time books lol. jolly phonics? hahahaha)

My son is the same and the same age as yours. He wanted to learn to read so I bought the Jolly Phonics workbooks but they bored him silly so they've been shelved.

He loves reading and likes to read stories to his younger brother. He can't read the words but tells the story from describing the pictures.

We do lots of messy crafts, gardening and things that involve numbers as he is really into numbers, the time, that kind of thing. Science really excites him so we do lots of messy, smelly, loud science experiments.

He is like a little whirlwind so I have to balance the above with lots of physical exercise. He pretty much needs to be run into the ground every day, so I'm picking a school that requires a brisk walk to it rather than somewhere a car ride away.

My son just started school and can read with age of a seven year old - he loves it, so my advice would be, go with what he wants. School will handle him, they have to it's their job. Just make the most of your time left with him before he starts, and in my opinion, sitting down reading with your son is such special time - you will treasure it for ever!

Why won't they do reading at the nursery? At ds's nursery they started learning to read when ready. Usually at 4 but for ds he was just turned 3 because the nursery felt he was ready. Lots of reading games to teach phonics to start with rather than just reading books.

Thanks for all your varied responses.

I think I'll stick with my gut feeling and do what I think is right (and not listen to my mother!!).

LOL - DS has literally hundreds of books, he loves the Julia Donaldson / Axel Sheffler books but lately he asks for Jolly Phonics stories every night.

Yesterday he wrote his full name (first and surnames) at nursery so I think that the 1 on 1 time that he is getting with the teachers now that the older kids have gone to school is paying off. I hope that his confidence will continue to develop so that he is eventually happy to talk at nursery like he does at home.