Life after giftedness

[GagaOlala]

I never thought I'd see the day but I have realised that for a whole year now I have not thought about the fact that DS is exceptionally gifted and have not even considered thinking about pestering the school about what they are not doing. So for all those stressed newbies with 3-4 year olds out there it really is worth chilling out and just enjoying your kids instead of wondering if they are reaching their full potential.

Guess what?

A GIFTED KID WILL NEVER REACH THEIR FULL POTENTIAL.

So let your kid breath. If they want to do extra work at home then let them and if they don't then don't force them because they are learning diddly squat at school. They'll still all end up at uni with everyone else at 18 and you'll add years to your life avoiding wasted stress!

Why will a gifted kid never reach their full potential? I thought the would reach it whatever you do.

Don't understand - say more? Every child should reach their full potential!

It is possible that a very clever 3-4 year old will slow down and be less obviously brigher as the others catch up after a year or so - but that's not what you mean is it?

The school system and parents busy work lives mean a gifted child will not reach their full potential because there is not enough time or desire (from schools) to give them exactly what they need. Its not a big deal imo but it was for years and I wasted my time hitting my head of a brick wall.

I know of kids who at 5 could have done GCSE maths and sciences but the moment they went to school it all stopped and they were too tired, being tiny, to learn what they needed to. They spent years of boredom at school and of course other kids eventually caught up. Not because the gifted child was any less gifted but because it had been taught nothing for years. In that sense gifted children are being neglected by the education system but that's life!

"
I know of kids who at 5 could have done GCSE maths and sciences but the moment they went to school it all stopped and they were too tired, being tiny, to learn what they needed to"

Well, maybe what they needed to learn "being tiny" wasn't GCSE maths? What on earth good would it do a 5 year old to do GCSE maths? And, anyway, how many of them are there in the world?

OP should get together with DadAtLarge, methinks (they can wallow in mutual cynicism). At the very least OP could be advocating HE instead.

I was labeled a gifted child, I thought this thread would be about people like me (big headed emoticon here).

Not sure what my parents' expectations were, though.

Well maybe a child who isn't profoundly gifted but just gifted may be catered for in school. HomeEd is the only place that a gifted child can reach their full potential but I did that but circumstances meant we couldn't continue.

All I am saying is chill out and stop making it such a large area of your life. Parents of gifted kids are a bit too OTT when it comes to schools and academia. Send them to school with no expectations and then you won't be disappointed. My gifted child couldn't care less about whether he is reaching his full potential and I'm sure he'll end up with the same qualifications as everyone else.

GagaOlala: are you saying that...:

1. All parents of Gifted Kids are OTT in their expectations?
2. Are all kids who are in the top 10% included in your definition of "Gifted"?
3. In which case, 10% of all parents must have OTT expectations, is that right?
4. It's best not to have expectations so that you can't be disappointed?
5. Parents of kids in the lower 90% never have excessive expectations?
6. Even the best most specialist private school could not cater fully for a profoundly Gifted child?

You started a whole thread on this, so you must feel strongly about it, but just what are you saying and to whom?

mmm well I would say that different schools vary enormously in the way they deal with gifted children and it's worth trying to find a way forward?

It's not about being OTT, like someone else said, it's about trying to make the most of school for your individual child.

I know it must sometimes feel like a lost battle, but giving up is not in my nature!!!

If we want to be very profound here, we could argue that nobody ever reaches their full potential in an imperfect world, nobody has the perfect educational experience, nobody lives life to the full. But whether that means we should be total cynics about our dcs' schooling is a different matter. As for me, I expect dd's school to do some of the work to help dd to get as much out of education as she can. I expect to do some of the work myself. And I expect dd to do some of it- and not to stop when she gets to 18, or even to 25. In my view, none of these expectations contradict the other. The school should do the best they can to fulfill their part, I will do the best I can, dd must do the best she can.

Dd would not be satisfied if she only got to learn the things taught at school or read the books supplied by school, but then there is no reason she should have to. Otoh she would be very unhappy if fulfilling learning only happened outside of school hours and she was bored for 6 hours a day: the school also needs to provide some interest (thought not necessarily every minute of the day).

But people who think disabled children have all their needs met by the LEA obviously have little experience of how things work in RL. The only reason my disabled ds gets the aids he needs at school is because we buy them and send them in with him. If we couldn't pay, he wouldn't have them.