My DH gave up smoking in Feb, and managed it for 4 months, before starting it again two weeks ago. He had one, then another, and before he knew it, he was smoking again. He had been using patches, reduced the dose, and then stopped, he became complacent.
He is getting himself ready to try again and I am trying hard to support him without pressurising him (hard though as I had started enjoying having no 'pitstops' for a fag every so often, or him not disappearing straight after a meal to go and smoke, or, more importantly having him breathe more easily and not snore at night.
However, one thing I wanted to ask about. For the entire time he was not smoking, for the whole 4 months, he was grumpy, bordering obnoxious. He had limited patience, was more irrational, quick to snap at both me and DD, and we argued much much more. He blamed my tiredness and we got into a bit of a rut of bickering. He stopped having any fun, he hardly smiled, he was constantly annoyed at DD, and did not really enjoy doing stuff with her like he normally does, less tickles and laughter. I too put it down to tiredness (both of us) as DS (baby) does not sleep through at night, and tried to curb my snapping back, but felt a bit like i was going mad as he was making me out to be this horrid ogre due to tiredness, when I honestly could not see what was wrong, when he said I was being a certain way, I could not see it myself. I was reaching breaking point, but did not think it was entirely the lack of cigerettes.
When he put a patch on, it eased, but he refused to see the correlation. And I thoughy maybe it was not so, not by 4 months.
Anyway, since he has been smoking again, the arguments have stopped, he is less irrational, less snappy, less quick to 'pick' on me which I felt he was doing before. DS is not sleeping much differently, but the family feels more relaxed and happy, I feel less got at, and while DH is not happy at smoking again, he is more chilled out. I mean it is not surprising. He has smoked for 20 years, more of his life than he has not smoked, so of course it will affect him negatively for a little while.
I remember DH saying that his dad stopped smoking when he was around 8 or so, and he went from being a happy run dad to a miserable old sod, and was never really happy again.
Please tell me that when when he stops again, this time hopefully for good, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel of horribleness that is imminent?
How long did it take those of you who have stopped to feel 'normal' without cigerettes? Did you ever feel normal again?
I need to brace myself for what is about to come and maybe an idea of how long and if it will change him for good.