DD fighting cancer ... me at end!

[Vickyloulou]

Wanting to know if anyone knows of any charitable organisations that provide financial assistance to families living with cancer.
My dd was diagnosed with cancer 3 years ago and has endured extensive treatments, with month after month spent over 100 miles from home.
I am married, my husband works to support us and we have another child, a son who is at primary school. Because my husband works, I have to manage 24/7 on my own with dd as we can't afford for him to be with us.
We are hitting brick walls everywhere we turn. Because our income is above £20K, we are not able to claim any financial grants or support, apart from a one off payment of £250 from Clic Sargent. We do receive DLA and carers, but it comes nowhere close to what our income was and unfortunately, our income has halved, but not our bills. We are footing the bill for the loss of my income (I have had to give up work), fuel bills, childcare through holidays, general medical equipment, etc. Making me feel very angry (which I don't like to feel) to watch children of families on benefits be handed laptops, fuel payments, etc. We are now attempting to manage on less than many families on benefits, but outgoings are not taken into account. I'm getting quite down listening to the conversations about what they can claim. To make matters worse, the majority manage to find the money to smoke and buy PS3 games.
The last straw has been finding out that a special trip been organised by a charity within the hospital, is singling out the children from lone parent or low income families as a priority.
This isn't a dig at those who have found themselves on their own; I don't blame anyone for taking what is on offer.
I feel like my husband and I should divorce to get any assistance.
ANY ADVICE? I'm at the end.

Vickyloulou, I'm really sorry to read about your situation. Have you tried Macmillan nurses? Sorry - this is probably an abvenue you already know about but that's all I can think of. (I'm having treatment for breast cancer so have been reading the MacMilan stuff but haven't needed to apply for financial help so don't know how much they can help).

I suppose other potential contacts could be your GP, your hospital but it sounds as though you've tried these. Is there a website perhaps for the specific cancer your DD has? If so that might also help??

Sorry I can't think of anything else but good luck.

Vicky - so sorry to hear about your DD's illness, and your financial problems. Not sure I can be of much help, - I second Macmillan suggestion, also I think it might be worth contacting the CAB, to see if they can help you find possible sources of help.

Also - was going to suggest you also post in the money matters section on this forum - as I think there are probably people on there with expertise in this area. Very good luck to you.

Macmillan Cancer Support does offer grants, but only to those on income of less than £20K. Mac nurse at hospital came with forms and then told us we don't qualify. I know they do good work for the most (my gran had very good support from them), but for us, the support is minimal (the nurse we have allocated at hospital has an false OTT sounding voice and is very judgemental) and the financial support is non-existant.
Same of most other charities - virtually all stipulate income relevant (not disposable income).
CAB have checked charities for us already and only found Clic Sargent to give non-income related grants, but then, it is a one off of £250 - it costs us £50 for each return trip, just in fuel.
Thanks for replies.
Sandripples, hope things work out for you.

Not financial help, but can your child go on postpals? At least then she would get some treats and letters through the post and it might feel like as a family your struggle isn't forgotten?

I really hope you get some financial help too.

Hi Vickyloulou,
I read your post this morning couldn't read and run,this is my first post on mumsnet & didn't want to post on the boards incase I made a mistake,. and had to speak to dd first My d grand'd has leukaemia and my dd & partner like you had to find out about a lot of things that only came through word of mouth from other parents at the hospital, you can claim your car tax back no one tells you that (the child has to be 5 to be able to do this),also you can get a council tax reduction,my dd said the 250 she got from the gov when g' d was born was given extra, Tax credits are increased I don't know if you can claim on travel allowance clic sargent should help, may I suggest when you have to go to the hospital talk to the other parents, and fill in as many forms as you can get, it sometimes opens doors for you here are a couple of sites which also might help. www.cancerhelp.org.uk/index.htm
www.direct.gov.uk/en/index.htm
Does your husbands place of work allow him time off for hospital visits?

Wishing you your dd & family all my best wishes if I can be of any other help pm me.

Hi - it must be awful. My mum has been diagnosed with cancer and we are devastated. If dd had it I don't know how I'd survive. I know that you must feel resentful about your financial situation and I am on benefits but trust me- it's no bed of roses. I'd be on the streets without them as dds dad left us and if dd gets cancer then we'd be screwed. Focus on instead how you can reach charitable organisations etc. There must be something you can do.
Don't let the cancer eat you up too. It's a shit disease and completetly arbitary in whome it strikes. I am going to do race for life next year when mum gets better and Clic sargeant is my favourite charity shop.