sex after posterior repair

[spiritlift]

I had a posterior repair for a rectocele last year. Bowels are now fine but my husband has not been able to fully penetrate me ever since. he gets about halfway and then it feels like he can t go in any further without it hurting. Has anyone else experienced a similar thing ? And if so what did you do about it? Any advice gratefully received.

Anybody? Can t believe I'm the only one with this problem.Would really appreciate any views.

Sorry to hear this.

I had a repair in May and looking on healthboards site, there were several people with this same problem.I just don't think its ever mentioned.

Have you spoken to your GP or hospital DR?

I have same problem - very painful experience altogether and very worrying.Painful sex, apparently, is one of the disadvantages of having this repair - didnt realise how painful though. Dont think anything can be done about it.

Thanks for your reply coryn. Did you go back to the gynae to discuss the problem? My gynae certainly never warned me that this would happen and I'm a bit embarrassed to go back and discuss it. My main concern is that I may do some damage to the repair if we keep trying to have sex. What do you think ?

You need to go and see the man/woman who did the op!

When I had my repair done one of the questions I asked was would I be too small for sex again. He laughed and said he hoped he'd get it about right.

It may be that you just need to take it slowly- literally! Another option could be you using dilators, but you need someone to check you out.

Spiritlift - Unfortunately,for me to go back would cost me more money - I went privately and wish to goodness I hadnt - I went in for a rectocele and a cystocele repair - he did the rectocele (which didnt really bother me) and didnt do the cystocele. He asked me before the op if my husband and I still had relations - I said we did - I assume he asked me this so that he didn`t stitch me up too small - this is exactly what he has done - I still need to wear pads and am forever wanting the loo to wee. I had mine done last October! It is because we have been sewn up too tight, that is why sex is now very painful.

If this was a pair of shoes that weren't fit for purpose you would go back to the shp and complain loudly.

You ought to go back and demand they rectify matters at no cost- or certainly a lower fee. If he has ballsed it up he should apologise- legally you could sue for having your sex life ruined.

He sounds useless- if you need an oop to stop leaking nad he didn't do it, but did something else, then you must go back and complain.

Why should you put up with this especially as you paid for it privately ?

purplepeony - You are right of course, but me being me, I wont do it. I simply couldnt afford to go again, even if it was at a reduced rate. The reason I went privately in the first place was because the hospital I would have been admitted to, had mixed wards and hasnt got a good reputation for cleanliness i.e. MRSA etc., I was terrified to go and have the op in the first place, and it took me nearly a year to pluck up the courage to do it. I can tell you, if I think about it, I could cry. I know I am quite pathetic, but I am paranoid about hospitals, since being in them a lot as a child. Im not feeling sorry for myself, just trying to explain why I wont go back, also I dont fancy confrontation with a surgeon, who will probably say, why didnt you come back before now, which is right of course! Also if I asked to go NHS, maybe they would ask me why I didnt go in the first place.

I have every sympathy but at the same time the suffering you are having must be far worse than talking to any dr and getting yourself sorted out.

I mean this seriously and not sarcasticly-you could do with some assertiveness skills .

You are assuming too many things that simply may not happen-eg. that it will be confrontational- why should it be? Stop putting the dr on a pedestal and do what's right for you.

coryn - I am so sorry to hear of your problems. I am just surprised that my surgeon didn t mention that sex may be painful after the op. I guess I am worried that I could do some damage, like "undoing the repair." I suppose I can put up with my situation -I was just hoping somebody on MN may have some experience of this. But I really would go to the NHS if you are feeling that bad. The NHS are much maligned as the media only ever report the bad stuff. For every mistake they make, there are thousands of success stories which people never read about as they are not newsworthy. And most doctors are really nice. So have faith in them, pluck up courage, and go !

spirit- it might just take time and perseverance. I had a repair- front and back but mainly front and was terrified of any damage for a long time. It was more difficult but it didn't hurt-just a bit like being a virgin again.

Have you tried using a lot of lube and just being very slow?

I don't tink it will undo it- but you might need "stretching" a bit.

Thanks for replying purplepeony. I have tried gel and going slowly - dh is so patient but to be honest we always end up finishing off manually as I am such a coward ! How long ago did you have your op, and are you back to normal now? And what are dilators - did you use them ? Sorry so many questions but would love to get this sorted.

spirit- i had the op 19 years ago after DC2.

I was very wary of sex for a long time afterwards- maybe a year or more. It was never impossible, though the first time it was very tight.

Yes, it is okay now- in fact I keep having to remind myslef to do PF exercises to stop it all going wrong again.

I never used dilators but I know they can be used for vagismis- where the vagina is very tight/spasms closed due to psychological isues.

The idea is that you use a small one then move to bigger sizes. They are basically dildos with a more medical name!

Maybe you need to just relax, ply yourself with a drink beforehand and make sure you are very turned on- and just go for it.

Hello again Spirit, - been visiting cousin for a few days and just seen your reply - I think that my urethra has prolapsed, because I constantly feel uncomfortable down there - it feels (not all the time, but quite often) as though I have a tampon stuck in the passage where you wee (this sounds awful really). I have been reading on the net about this problem, and to be honest, I think it is better the devil you know, than the devil you dont` - The feeling is not unbearable, but very irritating, it particularly hurts after I have ridden my bicycle. Also a feeling of imminent cystitis, which if you have had that, you will know is awful. Anyway, I am glad that you ladies out there can share your experiences and give some good advice, especially PurplePeony and it is appreciated.

coryn - this may sound totally ridiculous, but if ever I feel a dragging down sensation below - which happens occasionally - I lie on the bed with my legs and pelvis upside down against the wall for about 10 - 15 minutes. I read somewhere that gravity does awful things to a woman's insides, especially if you run a lot - and I play lots of tennis. So I figured that reversing the effects of gravity might help, and I have to say, the dragging sensation disappears when I stand up again! I'm sure any medical people reading this will think I'm bonkers, but as it works for me, I'm carrying on doing it! You may want to try it.
purplepeony - thanks for the info - very useful. I like the idea of a drink to relax me first - I think I am getting quite tense.

I had cystocele and mid urithereal sling and i am having problems having sex also . Hubby can't even get the tip in because is so painful for me .this is three months after surgery .

Hello I'm new here, I had erectocele surgery literally about 7 months ago and I'm wondering is sex going to painful everytime how long does it take to heal completely inside and is it normal to spot my man is being so patient with me, I also have had complete hysterectomy before this and have had my cervix uterus ovaries and fallopian tubes removed, but sex is painful if my man goes to deep please help me

I had enterocele my small intestine came out of my vagina and was rushed into emergency surgery 7 months ago how long does it take to heal inside and is sex going to hurt am I going to cause any damage to what's been fixed is it ok that o had a little spotting I've only had sex 2 times recently and hurts when my man goes deep anyone have any suggestions or ideas

This post is really old, so not sure if it will even get anyone view it now

I have just had an opr for prolapse anterior + posterior I'm 2 weeks post op,
This has got to be the most dreadfulest thing I've ever been through , soon after leaving the hospital within hours I ended up back in a&e with bladder retention. Which might I add was more painful then given birth to all four of my baby's
I've had a catheter removal yesterday as they said the trauma / swelling caused it !
Still having bladder spasms it's horrible !
Has anyone had anything like this?
And with regards to painful sex after the op did it recover?
There are Not enough posts on any recovery experiences for this type of surgery other then nhs websites and it all a bit vague ....

I do hope everyone's ok even tho a lot of these posts are 10 years old 🤦🏼‍♀️

X

@MummaL32 , ask your GP to refer you to a physio who specialises in gynaecology

Mummal32 I've just had a full hysterectomy and anterior repair..three weeks ago. I also struggled with bladder retention and severe constipation. Like yourself was readmitted and treated.

I'm starting to recover but still feel pain in the lower abdominal area whenever I need to pass urine or open my bowels.

I feel quite anxious about all the pain and concerned about pain described by everyone above.

None of this was highlighted before surgery...sincerely hope everyone feels better.