Best non medical way to deal with hypertension and ... bad temper?

[connyrabbit]

This is a mum talking but this isn't about me it's about DH. Forgive me for posting this on mumsnet but I've always had such fast and abundant response to any of my questions that I thought I'd try you ladies on this one too.

DH is 37 years old, has hypertension for which he takes beta blockers.
He is basically a workaholic, has always been very demanding with himself and with others, he has a lot of rules and pet hates, he always thinks the worse will happen and basically believes that the world is out to get him, his money and his property (he is a fanatic about security, locks?). He is extremely insecure about money, and he really has no reason to be. He goes bananas over any form of waste.
Sleep is a waste of time, the radio has to be on all the time so that he can have information always coming in.
He is extremely ambitious and driven and very good at what he does, but is very frustrated with his career choices at the moment and is feeling trapped in a place he doesn?t want to be, but where he is staying for the money.
He is extremely highly strung, loses his temper very easily, not at work but with his family, and with me a bit too much for my liking. He flies in absolute fits of rage with his parents.

I've just listed all his worst traits but there are just as many wonderful ones too.
I'm basically trying to find a way to make him calm down and be happier with life. Otherwise I think he?ll have a heart attack by the time he?s 40.

He tends to be very busy and although he recognises he could use some help, he will accept to try one thing, but if that doesn't work he's unlikely to try anything else so I don?t want to get it wrong. I don?t know who to ask as I don?t want anyone I know to hear about this.

What does he need (apart from family counselling I suppose because there is clearly something there. His parents are also very highly strung, easily offended and appear to have been emotionally obtuse with him from a very early age, surprisingly so for smart educated people who are excellent educators as far as I can see from their behaviour with their grandson.)?
Does he need some sort of yoga? Extreme relaxation? Cognitive therapy? Acupuncture? Buddhism? What else is there that could deal with all this? I don't want to send him to the doctor's because he'll probably just put him on prozac or something, which I'm not a fan of, and neither is he anyway.

Be nice, don?t give me any negative personal comments, just what you think might be best...

Thanks all!

some kind of retreat? www.gaiahouse.co.uk/

Does he have regular check-ups to monitor his hypertension? That would be the first step - it may be that they need to alter his medication or his dose.
To be honest though, the hypertension shouldn't be related to his mood swings and driven (anxious?) personality.
It is hard to know what to suggest. I am driven, demanding and often bad tempered and would loath enforced relaxation. Relaxing makes me stressed, being busy makes me feel relaxed IYSWIM.
He does need to go to the doctors to have his blood pressure checked. If you could ask him to mention how quickly he gets cross then he can start having a dialogue with the GP. A good GP won't give out anti-depressants straight away. My DH had a period of PND after the birth of our first child and just three talking sessions with our doctor was able to help.

I have mild hypertension and it's much improved since I took up white water kayaking! Good exercise, fab adrenaline rush and an escape from the cares of the world. Would he have toime for that or some other sport that removes him from the stresses of everyday life?

You're right clemette he hasn't had his hypertension checked in a while. We'll do that, but I would so hate for the doctor to need to prescribe stronger medication, it's already incredibly strong doses for his age...
I feel his anxiety and worsening view of the world is the place to start, and the blood pressure will go down as a result of that.
Fortyplus, I agree sport would do him good, but he doesn't want to make time for it.

Regular exercise and a low salt & mediterranean-style diet will help the blood pressure. Walking is one of the best forms of exercise for long term health.

Very difficult to change someone's personality. Cognitive behavioural therapy might help him with processing stress but he'd have to be willing to commit to it & it is quite hard work.

I 2nd the exercise; he sounds just like my DH who calms right down when he's not eating wheat! he knows he shouldn't eat it but he does crave it. Is yr. DH aware of his moods?

You could discuss with him how the moods affect the people he loves; our DD1 is still affected she is 30! It is difficult I know!
But the wheat thing really works!

The wheat thing is interesting, ppeatfruit. Funny thing is his mother is allergic to wheat, but I didn't know it could trigger mood swings, irritability, frustration etc (as I just saw on some websites).
Talking about it with him doesn't change much, we talk about it a lot but it keeps happening... because it is always other people's fault. I hate him having such fits of rage in front of our little boy.
First of all it's humiliating for me as I make a point of not yelling back at him (I hate fights, never seen my parents yell at each other in my life) because it makes things worse, but it only makes me look weak.
And then how am I supposed to explain to a child that tantrums aren't an acceptable behaviour if his own grown up dad, his hero, does it?

I make a non wheat bread that is just like wheat using Kamut flour mixed with rice flour that is also fantastic for sauces etc. DCs learn by example don't they? it's really sad.

One of the best ways of making my DH stop the wheat is a diet; Atkins is totally non wheat and it's good for diabetes is yr. DH overweight and vain like mine?

He's a little bit overweight but it seems so inappropriate to put him on a diet considering how overweight I am! OK I'm pregnant but still, this bum wasn't there before!

Connyrabbit, it does seem like YOU want to fix his problem, when actually only he can be responsible for his own health.
He needs to go to the doctor to get his medication levels sorted if necessary. When there he can discuss his issues with his doctor. It does seem a little as if you are taking control of this, and any lifestyle changes secured that way won't last.

of course clemette... is right her DH being responsible for himself but if conny tends to cook for the family she could cleverly substitute the wheat and watch him calm down then say why!!

I've also managed to get him to take an amazing french kelp called Litothamne it is brilliant for the moods and health! Oh also sleep!{smile]

Well yes Clemette, I am. Wouldn't you if you you had a husband who yells at everything and everyone all the time but who is also so freaked out by health related subjects that he won't go see any doctor by himself? He faints whenever he has a blood test!
It's not like I have any chance of making him do anything that he doesn't want to do anyway.
Any suggestion I make will have to be reasonable and documented.

Would he take a supplement like Litothamne ? My DH is feeling so good on it he googled it!