Really struggling with binge eating

[justcantstop]

Its got worse again. I usually have good days and bad days, recently they have all been bad days. I am happy, I am enjoying life. But I can't stop eating. I am spending far too much money on binge food, then I bin whats left and decide I am never bingeing again. The next day more money on binge food...! I am so fed up. I drink diet cola constantly, its starting to taste vile to me but I can't stop.

How the hell do I stop this? I am getting too fat. I feel sick when I look at myself.

I don't have any advise really - but I could be you writing this. I have he exact same problems...you're not alone for sure!
My problems seem to be eating through boredom and hat i reat food as a treat and i reat myself all the time!!!

I wish I didn't have to eat at all. I wish I could just take a pill for food and never feel hungry. I just don't understand hunger/fullness. I was a teen anorexic, now I am fat. I used to feel physically sick at people like me. Its all the same though, the same thought behind it. The loving yet hating food its just a different way of coping but same in the end.

I function better in society now I am not stick thin, ill and collapsing. But inside I feel pretty much the same. I love food but I hate it, life would be so much simpler without it.

justcantstop - I could've written your first post.

You say you had anorexia did you have any counselling or CBT for that?

Yes and have seen someone for binge eating, was very helpful. Worked through a lot of issues about my family, feel more positive and able to cope with that. It was really useful.

The idea was those feelings were causing the food issues. In a way they were. In some ways I think its a habbit now/in built in me. I am going to a wedding soon I am worried about my dress fitting and what I will eat on the day - if I will be hungry in day time and then if I will eat too much etc. Its just like being anorexic, I worry about control.

I am thinking I should just eat the same every single day - I know this sounds mad. But i cannot cope with the choice, I have to have it all. Its all or none. If I hear someone mention burgers I get a craving for them and have to have them, I will eat them for the next 2 days for every meal. This morning I had choc for breakfast because it was in the house. If its in the house I CANT not eat it. I have just had to melt all the choc ices. I spend so much money on food and have to hide it from other people.

What about eating the same every day - is that crazy? Nothing else has worked. And I am fed up. I am on antidepressants but I dont feel depressed at all anymore, I would love to reduce them but am worried food will get worse also food being so bad is making me feel down.

Sorry these are long, rambly posts, its just all tumbling out. I have been burrying my head in the sand.

I saw a dietitian recently - my weight was getting out of control which is not good considering family health problems.

She was saying that everyone comfort eats and binges to an extent and that she can't have a certain type of chocolate in the house because she'll eat it until she feels sick. Looking at this pretty, slim dietitian and knowing that even she binges made me feel normal and like I shouldn't be disgusted of myself or ashamed.

I had very polarised views of 'good' and 'bad' foods - it was all or nothing, I was either eating salads all day or stuffing my face with junk. I try and be a lot more relaxed about what I'm eating. I still have pizza but I'll choose a thin crust one and serve it with salad instead of deliberately choosing the most unhealthy one and washing it down with loads of coke and a big pudding. If I do have a big binge then I draw a line under it - keep calm and just focus on making the next meal healthier. Sorry if I'm rambling, I could write about this a lot because it's been such a big issue for me for half my life. I've also tried to stick to more low GI foods so my blood sugar is more balanced and I don't get cravings as badly as I used to.

What about making a weekly shopping list and just doing one trip to the supermarket? Would that help? Do you exercise at all? I've just started running and it's a good incentive to take care of yourself because running on a stomach full of ice cream and fizzy drink is not pleasant.

Thanks flibberti. Yes I try to exercise but not enough and its inconsitant. Even a long walk would be good, I feel better after that and less likely to binge.

Have tried the weekly shop - this sounds silly but I find the choice overwhelming. I have to have foods that are nice enough in for dinner each night to prevent me from eating crap instead of dinner. But problem is I then want it all that night, I can't decide. Or I want the same thing over and over.

The only thing I can think of that I have never tried in all my eating issue years is the same thing every day, I figure its worth a shot. Probably not healthy to eat exact same every day but its healthier than what I am eating just now. Was thinking -

Breakfast 2 weetabix with milk&raisins. And a fruit smoothie.

snack - orange&2 oat cakes

Lunch - Cheese and salad sandwich (with 3 slices of bread) and fruit juice (when I say fruit juice I mean home made with orange, apple, carrot and broc)

snack - banana& 2 oatcakes

Dinner - bowl of soup&a roll with butter in. Egg and salad with salad cream. and fruit juice.

Evening - an apple&grapes&a banana

I have tried to make it enough that I am not hungry - main times are early afternoon and after dinner. And no more diet coke, I dont think it helps.

Can you get an emergency session with your counsellor? Sounds to me like your issues are far from resolved. Is this wedding a stressor? What I mean is, is this a wedding you don't particularly want to go to? Is it the couple themselves, or perhpaps a guest which will be there? Is there something else upsetting you right now?

Forcing food down is (as you know) a way of forcing down "unpleasant" emotions and is a form of self-harm. No matter what happens you musn't hurt yourself just because some external factor is hurting you.

Making yourself a daily food list is (imo) asking for trouble as you're setting yourself up for failure and giving yourself another stick to beat yourself with.

I agree with skihorse in that eating the same thing everyday may be too rigid. Once you get bored of the same tastes you may start wanting other things really badly which could lead to binging.

Another thing to try is a chromium supplement - it's supposed to help with cravings.

Do you have a DP or DH who can do the cooking for you?

It does sound like another counselling session might me be helpful

justcan'tstop..have you seen or heard of the Paul Mckenna way of slimming. he reckons it is HOW you eat not what you eat; he has a CD you can self hynotise at bedtime not to 'wolf' down yr. food . It really works!

I think eating same every day is good idea .I can see that working .
Suppose it's back to being in control...
Vitamins / mineral supplements do help with binge eating ,chromium ,and Holland And Barrat sell Hoodia which makes you feel less hungry .
Also try cutting out the coke ,in my experience caffeine leads to me wanting to binge on sweet stuff .
What about following Nerys and India's version of Atkins ,they have a book ," Pig to Twig " which is good and might suit you as from memory first 2 weeks are extremely specific about diet ,with it all spelt out for you what to eat .
Good luck .

definitely ditch the diet coke. that has sweeteners in doesn't it? apparently they give you the taste of sugar, which tricks your brain into expecting an energy rush as you would get from real sugar. so you still crave sweet things in order to get that rush.

I'm so sorry you feel so bad hope you can get a counselling session sorted.

re: the same thing every day, could you at least modify it so that you do that for one week, then a new plan for the second week, another plan for the third etc? or a different plan for each day of the week? I'm not sure if it's a good idea at all though, as you said it's all about control.

is there another way you can get control of your life? what's your situation with a DP, kids etc? any hobbies you could take up as a distraction?

may make things much worse but meal replacement bars as they take the choice away for 2 meals out of 3?

argh sorry I'm waffling just didn't want to read and run. don't change anything without seeing somebody, please xxx

so glad i found this thread......I thought it was just me. let me know if anyne comes up with a magic solution.

Yes, the coke is not good; it creates cravings for salty foods as well.Get a water filter and keep water by you all the time.

also meant to say internet shopping so you aren't surrounded by the food in the supermarket?

My friend has been having hypnotherapy and it has made all the difference to her. She has lost about 4 stone and has a much better relationship with food.

Yesterday had - 2 cereal bars (from newagents was late for work and thought it was better than nothing) and a bottle of orange juice. 2 plan wraps dipped in some soup (soup wasn't nice so didn't actually eat that), banana and 6 strawberries made in to smoothie with glass of milk. small packet of yoghurt covered raisins, bowl of grapes. 3 crisps. go ahead bar

Today have had 3x bowls of 2 weetabix with raisins and milk. had that for breakfast lunch and dinner.

Hypnotherapy sounds good but I would be too shy to go for it.

Have done the internet shopping thing - I just end up overwhelmed by the choice once its arrived and go out and buy crap from shop anyway.

Well that's a million times better than eating loads of choc ices .
Well done ,2 good days under your belt .

3 days now VQ

6 x bowls of weetabix with raisins.
Bowl of veg soup and small roll.
2 satsumas and some grapes

Not sure where the weetabix obsession has come from