Not sure how to start this.
I last ate something solid nearly 2 weeks ago. Towards the end of my meal, my throat felt like it was 'closing' and I started choking. I managed to cough it back up.
Around that previous week I started suffering from hayfever (which I have never had in my life) and getting this god-awful 'drippy' gunk feeling down the back of my throat. I also got that lump in the throat feeling. I swopped over onto lactose free milk and the gunk seems to be disappating a bit now.
Over the last two weeks, I have tried several times to eat and it just feels like my throat closes up - no matter what I try, I had a quarter slice of toast on Wednesday gone - got the first mouthful down and the second one I started to choke. Its like my tongue won't push it to the back of my mouth and my throat doesn't want to/has forgotten how to swallow.
It not that I don't want to eat, I LOVE my food, veggies, fruit, choccie, fast food, proper dinners etc. I have tried making all my favorite things. 2 weeks on its got to the point that I am not even hungry and I am now obessing about not eating.
I have been surviving on meal replacement shakes, smoothies and porridge, however this morning the porridge wouldn't go down.
I have had bloods done and they have all come back negative. Nurse thought perhaps it was my thyroid seeing as i have other 'symptoms' (that were previous to this not eating)- hair loss (mega amounts), I am really tired all the time and can't wake up in the mornings, having difficulty staying awake in the afternoons, my skin keeps coming up in nasty red spots and is dry, really tense in the shoulders and neck, really irritable, dry mouth, on and off heartburn. God, I sound like a walking wreck. I know as well that the not eating is also possibly down to physcological reasons now and its 'all in my head'. thing is when I get stressed and tense I can't even get liquids (water) down.
I admit to being under a lot of stress lately (busy mum of 3 lively boys, financial worries, lot of work pressure and just finished up Uni) and normally my reaction to stress is eat and generally i am not a stressy person - I just deal with it.
I saw the doctor tonight and he is sending me (hopefully next week) for a endoscopy so that they can see my throat properly.
The thing is, now I a stressed about not eating, not being hungry, I am getting really upset and down about it. I am scared about going in for this procedure. I am scared that I wil never be able to enjoy some food again, with my family or go out for a meal.
Not sure what I want anyone to say but I think i just needed to get it off my chest. Anyone suggest any good relaxation techniques perhaps - i have tried warm soothing baths, partner giving me a massage, deep breathing etc.
Thank you for listening.