This is health/relationship...Alcoholism worries!

[Littleblue]

I have a drink problem..be it 'dependent drinking or alcoholism'...doesnt make much difference (i thought)
I've been dating a guy who I knew was a bit of a drinker..whats rapidly becoming obvious is that he's an alcoholic
Sober..he's the most interesting and eloquent man ive ever met..but i see him at night..and he drinks compulsively before he's even got his coat off...I am going to tell him we both need help..and shelve the relationship before he takes me down with him...is that harsh?

Shelve him LittleBlue and concentrate on yourself - you obviously want to stop and when you do you will find you have nothing in common with him anyway.

Drunks are generally boring to be around when you are sober.

Agree with lamplighter - except I would say that, whether you stay with him or not, it's you that you should be concerned with. He probably won't be that interested in your view about what he "needs".

If you have a problem, it's going to get worse; and it's going to continue getting worse; and, however bad you think it is, it will still find a way to get worse; until you stop. (If you are dependent it is almost certain that cutting down will not work for you.)

There are a few good threads at the moment on this, come join us.

Littleblue

I would shelve him and help your own self. You cannot save or rescue someone and he most likely won't take any notice of your entreaties anyway.

The last thing that you need is this ultimately self destructive relationship as it will delay your own recovery.

This is no healthy relationship at all, its just codependency and enabling.

His drinking is his responsibility. Your drinking is yours. Do what you need to do and leave him to make his own choices.