Painful sex 6mo after giving birth.

[MissMarjoribanks]

DS is 6mo old tomorrow. Vaginal delivery of a 5lb 5oz baby, on gas and air, with a episiostomy (sp?) and two stitches. Then had to go to theatre for manual removal of the placenta under epidural. Episiostomy, etc was because he was born at 33 weeks and they didn't want to mess about getting him out as his heart rate kept dropping. After birth it didn't sting when weeing, and the first poo was also entirely unproblematic.

DH and I have had sex precisely three times since. It hurt every time - first time expected, but it gets worse each time. It also stings when I wee afterwards for at least 24 hours. We have plenty of foreplay, so its not vaginal dryness that is the problem. It feels almost like I've been stitched up too tightly.

Will this ease off in time, or is it something that I need to put up with?

Did you have your stitches checked by the midwife after you had your ds or have a 6 week check with your gp to check everthing had healed? Have you had a look yourself? (scary I know)

I had a 2nd degree tear (same as an episiotomy? 7 weeks ago and had sex last week, it was fine. So really you should have healed by now. I've been rubbing my scar with vitamin e oil which I'd read on here really helps.

With my first dd I had a third degree tear and sex was unbelievably painful, worse than giving birth almost. It turned out I had a lot of scar tissue which was making everything so painful and they just removed it,was a very straightforward and quick process - don't know whether this could be affecting you?

I'd make an appointment with your gp as soon as possible so you can get it sorted out.

Oh and congratulations on your ds

Hey, I have the same problem, LO just turned 6 mo. Had an episiotomy and still ended up with a 3c tear.

We have spectacularly failed on all 3 attempts to have sex, ending with me in tears because of the pain.

I now feel like I can't even be bothered to try and could quite happily live without ever doing it again. Husband obviously thinks otherwise!!

I've explained it to the GP just as you say - I feel like I've been stitched up too tight. I thought the problem would be the other extreme - a baggy cave!

vvvworried - what was the procedure like? General anaethetic? How long to heal after? Did it rectify the problem??

Thanks!

FionaSH, I say procedure but it wasn't really as grand as that! The gynae consultant I saw knew what the problem was straight away and literally burnt away the excess scar tissue with I think nitrate, it took about 15 mins and didn't hurt at all, was done in a consultation room not in an operating theatre and no pain relief needed or anything.

VVworried - thanks for reply. I didn't have my stitches checked at all as my GP surgery doesn't offer 6 week checks routinely, and I thought I had recovered really well so didn't ask for one. I've had a nosy myself and there is a small scar and nothing else (on the outside).

I will go to my GP as you suggest - though she spent the last few days of my pregnancy staring up my fanjo on an annoyingly regular basis, so I'm not exactly overjoyed to be dropping my knickers for her again.

Fiona - poor you - I think you have it worse if the pain has brought you to tears. I too thought it would be quite the opposite and have had many conversations with friends about wizards sleeves and poking around in buckets, whilst thinking... well, actually....

my gp doesnt offer 6 week checks either, I had to make an appointment after I had a look and was freaked out by what I saw - although sex isn't painful I'm not convinced everthing should be as it should hence my very worried username!although have been told its all cosmetic...

My DS is 3 1/2 and sex has been VERY painful since having him.
I had my waters broken at 40+4 weeks because I had some bleeding, but after 23hrs and being 9cm dilated had to have an emergancy c section because he was too big to be born vaginally.
So long and short of it all is, I have no scar tissue down there, but REALLY hurts when we have sex and I hate to talk about it with my other half as he just gets cross that we aren't doing it enough and am too embarrassed to go and talk to my GP............
HELP!!

Thank you bert I am exactly the same as you no vaginal birth pain dispite the lack of scar tissue.. I've spoken to my GP been seen by a gynae and been told they can't find anythiing.. I thought it was just me!

Are you breastfeeding? I found that this can make a difference (dryness etc).

I had c section with DS1 so pain was a real shock after DS2. I went to the doctor and they found nothing untoward. However, I found it did get better with 'wear'.

Also, have you tried changing positions. I find missionary position the most uncomfortable as all the strain is on the scar site iyswim

I am still in pain 7 months after childbirth. I went to see gynea and have had an MRI to check things out. I have another consultant appointment at the end of June but I am aching internally at the moment and am going to ring tomorrow to see if anything can be done. Like the OP I have also tried sex only 3 times since DD arrived and it was v painful each time though getting slightly better last time but still not 'comfortable' or even pleasant - like you would hope sex to be .

MissMarjori think you had better see your GP and get referred to a consultant.

I didn't get back to normal until after I stopped breastfeeding and periods returned so 13 months with ds1 and 9 months with ds2. Had epis + stitches first time and tear + stitches second time, but it was definitely something hormonal that was the problem as I felt fine within shortly after getting back to a normal cycle.
Hope you feel better soon, it's very frustrating!

interesting skymonkey. I am still breastfeeding. Wonder if that will do anything??

I think I'm stuck in a cycle of thinking it will hurt so I tense up then it does hurt because I'm so stressed, then I avoid it for ages which makes it more of a big deal..

As you said in your last post on this thread wonka sounds as though we are very alike, I just come up with excuses not to have sex!!

I'm really stuck in a circle and want to get out as we really want to try for number 2.

i'm with you on the no sex/not feeling like sex, not relaxed at all about it front.
on another thread they advised a few glasses of vino before you attempt anything .

Wine does help.. but my liver is now so old I get terrible hang overs even on one glass... so ya just can't win .. Pain is better after ?I suppose

with both my pregnancies, I had a sort of sore feeling that got really quite painful asthe pregnancy went on. I agree with others who said that when they stopped breastfeeding, the problem cleared up. My bits stopped feeling sore almost immediately that I stopped bf.

interesting geraldine.
DD is not looking likely to drop any feeds yet so I've probably got a while yet before things get back to 'normal'.

On the plus side I managed to get through to my consultants secretary today and she is making me an appointment to see the nurse with the (sigh) dilators .

I've come to the conclusion that for me a lot of it is the hormone difference due to BF-ing too. KY all the way!!!

I wonder if its something to do with your hormones whilst breastfeeding? Anyone know?

HMHB - BF-ing does decrease lubrication down there, but I never knew it'd be so bad that it feels like I'm being ripped open :-s

For those of you whose problems started after you had a cs, there is a much greater risk of adhesions following abdominal surgery. It's more common than I realised, and hard to diagnose without a laparoscopy. I have had issues with this -coupled with endometriosis- which are still wrecking affecting my love life 13 years on. I was finally diagnosed 6 months ago. Am hoping for further surgery soon to separate the bits that are still stuck together. My bowel will have to remain glued to my belly wall though

marriednotdead hope you are ok.

fionaSH - lubrication not a problem but sex v painful, feels v different inside, opening too small etc. Feel like there are 'structural' differences.

I was sore during sex for 6 months too after the first baby . It got better after that . If no better soon, you may want to see your G.p.?

HMHB thats exactly how it feels for me - like they've sewn me up too much. Like I think I said before on this thread - I expected the opposite problem

I've been counting on lubrication being the prob, but today a friend gave me some anaesthetic lubricant to apply 20 mins before the deed...I suppose no sensation is better than pain!! But seeing as I'm hardly gagging for it, I'm not exactly bothered about even trying!