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Possible anorexia please advise..long-sorry.

9 replies

purplepeony · 26/05/2010 20:54

This is a general query really.
I work with a teenager who may have some kind of eating disorder. She recently- today- confided in me about how little she eats and drinks. This is the 2nd time she has told me but today it was more detailed. She is tiny for her age and very thin. Her mum took her to the drs some time ago and he, according to the girl, was not unduly worried, but who knows if that is the whole story. She drinks milk and eats some sweets but has little proper food.

I am wondering whether I need to talk to her mum about what she told me, and if she has told me more than her mum knows.

This is a summary-I think she is eating enough to survive, but puberty is very delayed- she is 13, almost 14 , but looks about 10/11 or younger size-wise.

She explained that she is never hungry and doesn't like the taste/texture of food in her mouth. Today she said was a "good day" and had eaten a tiny breakfast, tiny sandwich and FF/2 chips for dinner. She says she finds it hard to swallow any food/drinks.

I asked her if her mum knows how she is- and she just kind of shrugs.

I don't want to interfere- if not needed. It did cross my mind that this girl might be just talking about it to me to get attention and even exaggerating the situation. On the other hand I wondered if she might be asking for help/confiding in me. I have a good relationship with her and want to help if I can but part of me is thinking "don't go there- it's too complicated."

Any ideas anyone with any experience of this?

OP posts:
cornsilkcottagecheese · 26/05/2010 20:56

Can you speak to the school nurse? I would be concerned.

purplepeony · 26/05/2010 20:58

I am not working with her in a school. She sees me out of school.
Problem is, mum might be fully aware and really worried but not showing it to her DD.

OP posts:
cornsilkcottagecheese · 26/05/2010 21:02

Maybe mention it to mum then.

LadyBiscuit · 26/05/2010 21:06

Can you talk to her mum? I know it might seem like you're breaking a confidence but anorexia can damage girls of that age permanently. She needs help sooner rather than later. Most anorexics are very good at hiding the condition and her mum may simply not be aware.

OrganicHairbrush · 27/05/2010 14:29

I'd suggest you ask the girl if you both could talk to mum together. If she isn eating so little to delay her growth, then it's serious...

purplepeony · 27/05/2010 16:33

I think her mum will know but is either not telling me or not making an issue of it in public. I have left her a message saying I need to talk to her.
I asked the girl if she was anorexic and she said no,then she didn't think so.
What's worrying me is she says she is always hungry- so it's not lack of appetite, but "she doesn't like eating". But she couldn't say why.

OP posts:
Chil1234 · 27/05/2010 16:58

With these kinds of situations it's really best to go with your first instinct i.e. talk to the mother. Eating disorders - an essentially mental condition - play tricks on the mind of the sufferer. The doctor's comments, for example, will be deliberately misinterpreted. Being unable to swallow or having a gag reflex is a physical symptom of a mental aversion to food. Anorexia sufferers are often obsessed with food and desperately hungry but choose to suppress it. The more malnourished she gets, the worse her mental condition becomes and the harder it is to recover.

Someone I knew died because others didn't want to upset them or go behind their back -biggest regret of my life. Glad you're talking to her mother. Whatever happens afterwards, you're doing the right thing.

purplepeony · 27/05/2010 18:47

Chil thanks. I hope so- I am afraid they will think it's none of my business, but it's hard to ignore when she talks to me about it.

OP posts:
CantSupinate · 27/05/2010 19:02

It may not be anorexia; it could be another physical condition that is making it difficult to eat -- physical or psychological (or both). My cousin had trouble swallowing and eating for years, she eventually developed a complex because of the all the accusations of anorexia when in fact she had a problem in her windpipe finally diagnosed and treated when she was in her 30s!

Anyway, I agree about speaking to the mother about your concerns.

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