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Original poster

Can the HV really not hace a clue???

157 replies

MumtoEliane · 20/05/2010 10:31

I got to the point where I got actually angry.

I though my DD has cradle cap. I looked in a book that I think has got very accurate stuff and pretty good advise and in there it said that cradle cap is not painful at all but a cosmetic problem, but there is some special shampoo to treat it.

So I took DD to HV to a general check up and showed her the cradle cup. She said put some olive oil and then wash it off. I asked her to tell me the name of the shampoo to treat it and she said "is shampoo for cradle cap". Ok. Went to the chemyst and got the shampoo. The pharmacyst told me never to give her oil! The HV also told me that I should treat it as soon as possible otherwise it increases, it gets harder, and it will hurt (???)

I know I should be inclined to listen to the HV but she has told me very strange things in the past. For example: the previous HV told me DD has dry skin in her face and that I should give her moisturising. Now, I didn't see any dryness but I did as I was told. Didn't see any difference in her skin, it was nice and soft. So yesterday I asked the HV if I can stop giving her moisturiser. She said yes, her skin is lovely. And I said, well, thats what I thought but was told it was dry... she said no when its dry it gets a bit like sand paper (!!!!!!) honestly! Sand paper???? I hope not!

So I am now properly peed off with this woman. Is like talking to a victorian nurse, I wonder if they get ongoing training? Why the advice differs SOOOOO much form a HV to a pharmacyst to another HV?

Really angry.

OP posts:
ABatInBunkFive · 20/05/2010 11:35

Funny i'm missing your polite gene here.

waitingforbedtime · 20/05/2010 11:36

cross posted.

Original poster
MumtoEliane · 20/05/2010 11:37

I was merely trying to deffend myself as I got hurt.

But leaving too seeing that foreingners are not welcome.

OP posts:
islandofsodor · 20/05/2010 11:37

"I am well educated"

Perhaps you don't realise that MUMtoElaine but that ohrase is a very patronising one and is often used by people who think that they are better than other people.

islandofsodor · 20/05/2010 11:39

Lots of foreigners on here, all ar wlcome.

People in general who pour scorn on a well meaning persons advice which is also good anc correct advice like your HV are going to get lynched.

Bye bye OP, not nice meeting you.

Original poster
MumtoEliane · 20/05/2010 11:39

No! I told the pharmacyst "Can you give me shampoo for cradle cap" THAT IS ALL I SAID.

You really need to read my posts before grilling me.

OP posts:
WombFrootShoot · 20/05/2010 11:39

This might be one of my favouriteist threads ever.

islandofsodor · 20/05/2010 11:40

Why did you ask the pharmasist for shampoo when you have been told to get olive oil?

You didn;t answer that question. You obviously wne t in there with an I know best attitude my HV is wrong before the pharmasisit said anything.

Original poster
MumtoEliane · 20/05/2010 11:42

some people really enjoy upsetting someone

I don't think I am better than other but I think I am better than what you where making of me.

Still, I am trying to defend my self here but I guess is no use.

Some of you seem like really bitter ladies.

OP posts:
ShadeofViolet · 20/05/2010 11:42

Because she believes the book that she has read on parenting over her HV.

However the book was probably written by a HV, or someone similar!

Original poster
MumtoEliane · 20/05/2010 11:45

Thanks shadeofviolet. And because there are doctors in my family and I trust medicines more than some homemade remedies. That doesen't mean they are better, that is just my opinion.

Nice to see that some of you seems to undestand my point.

OP posts:
islandofsodor · 20/05/2010 11:47

Most medicines are only home made remedies that someone licensed and packaged in a bottle with a few chemicals thrown in for good measure.

Natural is often better in most cases, with the stronger stuff reserved for severe cases only due to side effects.

islandofsodor · 20/05/2010 11:47

ANd a shampoo is not a medicien though some brands with their pseudo- mumbo-jumbo-science would have you beleive differently.

ABatInBunkFive · 20/05/2010 11:48

I don't understand why you asked her for advice in the first place. At the end of the day it's a bit of dry skin your reaction was way OTT

WombFrootShoot · 20/05/2010 11:48

No, sorry. You write an OP basically saying that your HV is an idiot, when she actually gave you good advice, you then added a bit more to the pot by infering that you are better than the HV because you are "well educated"

Well, sorry, but in this case you are wrong. Wrong, wrong.

colditz · 20/05/2010 11:49

Shampoo is not a medicine, it is a detergent.

runnybottom · 20/05/2010 11:52

Perhaps people are as rude to you as you are about your HV.

Sidge · 20/05/2010 11:55

HVs aren't clones of each other and will have had different experiences in their careers - so one might suggest olive oil, another might suggest baby oil, another might suggest shampoo.

One might advise moisturiser, one might say avoid creams and oils, one might use a phrase or terminology that another might not.

Their job is to advise - as a mum your job is to listen to all the suggestions and go with the one that suits you and your baby best.

There are no hard and fast rules with some aspects of parenting, especially minor issues like cradle cap and dry skin. It's often a case of what works for that baby and what suits that family.

islandofsodor · 20/05/2010 11:56

Exellent post Sidge!

cravingcroissants · 20/05/2010 11:57

This thread is hilarious....it's making me laugh out loud and doing wonders for my baby blues, cheers OP!

Original poster
MumtoEliane · 20/05/2010 12:05

Funnly enough another time when I had a doubt due to clashing advice, HERE I was told to ignore HV completly.

I wen't to weigh the baby and asked her the name of the shampoo that I read I could give her and I was told by another mum that was good but she couldn't remember the name of.

This is an excellent example of how this get out of contest and how misunderstandings happen when talking to a person that is not in front of you. because I am not rude and I am sure a few of you are not as bitter as you seem.

I agree with you to a point Sidge, but I am am not teh only person that is a bit peed off by the fact that each HV gives a different advice. At the end of the day they are doing the same job. I think they should have a few more points in common.

I did praise the midwifes and HV that used to come to vosot my house because they helped a lot, I had a very colicky baby and I thought I was going insane. Her reply was: "Its nice to hear that the feedbck is quite often the opposite!"

OP posts:
Original poster
MumtoEliane · 20/05/2010 12:06

Cravincroissants nice to make you happy, can't say the same. And still shocked to see that people have so much fun making others miserable.

OP posts:
Original poster
MumtoEliane · 20/05/2010 12:08

Ok, praise sounds patronising too. I thanked her very profusely!!!

OP posts:
WombFrootShoot · 20/05/2010 12:08

Don't get all dramatic FFS. Your OP was rude and put people's backs up.

You are making a huge deal out of what is, basically, a SCAB on your baby's head.

Stop it, it's silly.

ABatInBunkFive · 20/05/2010 12:10

'I think they should have a few more points in common.'

Why? They are only offering advice, surely having more than one point of view is a good thing? What works for one family wont always work for another.