Merry it must be so frightening for you both at the moment. The person I mentioned on Rinders' thread was my closest friend, and her illness was also melanoma.
It was treated as a fungal infection, dermatitis, you name it, and only once it had spread to her neck did the doctors actually sit up and get a bit scared.
I really, really hope your husband has been treated early enough and thoroughly enough for it not to have gone anywhere else.
However, if it has - and that's a real if, because there are many. many reasons for back pain! - they do have some very good new drugs that it's possible he would have access to.
The most significant ones are gene targetted and that would mean testing for a genetic mutation called BRAF. There are other mutations too. The testing is easy, and if he has this mutation the drugs should work very well, at least for the short term. I will try and tell you more if and when he needs this info.
There are other trials of drugs such as ipilimumab, avastin, and also vaccine trials where they give the person a vaccine against their own cancer cells...this can be very effective. And something called IL-2 as well, which is harsh but can actually work.
It's pot luck as to what works on who, but people survive advanced melanoma for 20 years or more, just depending on what works for them and how it is managed. We were very unlucky, but your DH could well be one of the lucky ones!
That's what I am trying to say. You sound positive and you are within your rights to stay that way, at least for the time being! Keep it up, and yes, it's important to mention anything like back pain etc.
Let us know how you go...sorry, just realised this is a hijack (had forgotten whose thread it was!) but will post this anyway in case it helps.
Numberfour, how are you doing? I hope things are alright and you are feeling OK.