First Smear Test

[squirrel42]

Hi all; as a lovely early 25th birthday present the local NHS trust has sent me an invite to have my first smear test - aren't they nice!

I'm aware of the general process and have done some reading up on the interweb so I know what to expect, but I've got a couple of cluelessly naive practical questions if someone wouldn't mind sharing their wisdom and experience:

1. Everything seems to say "be prepared for some mild discomfort", and while some people say they barely noticed anything others say they found it quite painful - which bit of the process is everyone talking about here? The speculum-inserting/opening bit or the freaky brush-twiddling?

2. The leaflet said not to book when your period is due, and I've realised now that my appointment is about 4 days after my next one is due. I usually only have active bleeding for 2-3 days and then a bit of light discharge (sorry, sorry, delving deep into TMI zone here I know) so is that likely to be a problem - should I rebook a bit later or earlier now just in case?

3. My appointment is late afternoon post-work since that's the only sort of time I can fit it in. I don't have a problem with "freshness" as the manufacturers of lady garden air fresheners would generally describe it, but thinking of the poor nurse should I try to pop home first and grab a shower just to make her life a bit more pleasant or would something like a baby wipe in the doctor's loos just beforehand do the job - what's the general etiquette here?

I've read enough threads on the subject of trimming, tidying or waxing to know not to get into those sorts of complexities!

Thanks very much in advance for your help!

1. Personally I find the speculum bit a bit achey and the brush twiddling a bit ouch but it is over very quickly.

2. I would rebook, best results are mid cycle, would be a pain to have inconclusive results and have to have another!

3. Don't worry at all!

1. Nah, now that they use these brushes, it really doesn't hurt. Speculum- as long as you relax, it'll be fine. If you'll constrict your muscles it might be a bit uncomfortable.

1. Don't know. I had smears taken at the end of my period, so I would think it should be fine, but maybe call and ask.

1. Really, it takes a few seconds. Speculum in, brush in for like 2 seconds, speculum out. If you take a shower in the morning, you'll be fine.

1. I didn't find the opening up bit a problem, but the twiddly brush thing was uncomfortable and I said 'ouch' but it lasts about one second. I had expected that part to be totally painless so I got a surprise that I felt anything. It's no worse a pain than being momentarily pinched.

2. I would rebook.

3. Up to you - if you'll feel more comfortable having a shower beforehand, then do that. I had a morning appointment last time so I went straight from home to the doctor. I think I feel the same about intimate exams and dentists - the cleaner you are, the more relaxed you will feel!

I would go along with a very positive approach and I would go and know that this process could save your life... I had a dear friend who didn't go, she was much older than you, but when she did go ( because she was worried) it was already too late.

Sorry to labour the point, but I am glad you are going, i just want everyone to go! Tell all your friends too and make them go!! Don't worry, it is quick and only every three years.

1. Any pain is a mild nip when they take the sample - no lasting pain.

2. Make your appt when you start AF for two weeks later. They can't do it with even mild bleeding.

3. No worries about hygiene if generally good. If you are worried to a swift fem-wipe in the toilet before going in.

Remember, they have seen everything before.

I have had lots of smears as I am very old and they have vastly, vastly improved. 20 seconds tops. Hardly noticed it last time.

Don't worry about mid cycle thing either, that's entirely unnecessary now... just as long as you aren't bleeding they can do it.

Shower would be good beforehand if you can poss do it... I would rebook for a morning personally. Work should allow you the time off to go.

1. No, it doesn't hurt if you relax. A lot of doc and nurses have said rest your leg against them and relax which seems a bit familar with somebody you don't know well but it works!

It can be slightly strange feeling rather than uncomfortable and the speculum tends to be a bit cold.

Couldn't feel the smear bit at all and last time I had a coil removed at the same time - it was done in seconds and I didn't even know!

1. I would rebook for later - I think I have been told mid cycle is best.

1. A quick wipe with a baby wipe will be sufficient - Maybe change your underwear before you leave work too - you might feel more confident if nothing else.

Thanks everyone for the replies - I probably will give them a ring and explain about the timing to see what they suggest, and if they say it's best to wait another week or bring it forward then that's better than getting there and finding I've got to go twice!

Emsyj - definitely agree re the dentist and such; it's more a psychological thing but I just don't want to make the poor person's job any worse than it needs to be. Unfortunately I expect many of the people with really bad personal hygiene don't have the same mental approach...

I would make it for a later date - just in case your period is a bit late.

Generally, if your cervix is where it is expected to be, it shouldn't hurt if you stay relaxed, although it may be a little bit uncomfortable when they open the speculum up to keep it in position in preparation for the actual smear, especially if you haven't yet had a baby (which will have done all the necessary stretching!). It should also be a very quick process - just two or three minutes. However, putting the speculum in can be extremely painful if you have a retroverted cervix and a nurse who didn't check where your cervix was before she stuck the speculum inside you. This can also result in a smear test that lasts half an hour - if you let it go on that long - with you being asked to cough, sit on your hands, lie on your side, cough again, and tolerate the unpleasant sensation of something being banged up against your insides constantly. A retroverted cervix, by the way, is one that is tilted at a funny angle as a result of the uterus being tilted backwards, making it a bit more problematic to locate and more likely to be painful. If you find this to be the case, then ask to see someone else next time who is actually qualified to give you an internal examination first, in order to find what they are supposed to be aiming for. Don't let a bad experience put you off altogether - smear tests shouldn't be painful for anyone if they are done properly, but I think it only fair to warn you that they are not always done brilliantly if you aren't a standard shape internally!

And don't worry too much about washing immediately beforehand, so long as you had a shower in the morning.