**TAMOXIFEN** 4th thread

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we go !

me too, cupcaked. Expect you're home by now. Really hope I'm right and it went well. Horrible that waiting to go down, so wish one of us had been on-line to distract you.

Inter-rail, me too! Did a lazy August jaunt, round France in the eighties with a rather gorgeous if drug bombed boyfriend. Seem to remember swap reading Satre and Camus. How pretentious must we have seemed..?! I tried to ditch him three times, but he failed to notice.

Hope you are home now CC, and not feeling too sore.

SR - I am trying not to turn into a nervous wreck - I went inter railing a the same age, - so unfortunately no blissful ignorance to give me peace of mind. I just keep saying over and over to myself 'they're sensible girls....'

Blast from the past - I'm back again (after a month or so off). Feel really awful about just dropping out of sight once my rads were finished but I just seemed to go into a "I will not think of anything cancer related" phase. I have missed reading all of your chat though. Will have a proper look at past messages later but from my quick glance it seems that some of you are finishing chemo - that's great! I see some new names too - hello - sorry you have to be here iyswim, but welcome.
Hope everyone is fine - you all sound very busy!

Waves to Haggis.

Hi Haggis - lovely to see you, hope everything is good with you

HI, just dropping in to wave to KK and wish her luck for tomorrow dropping DD at the Eurostar. Don't worry about her - she will be fine!

RWU hope you're feeling a bit better and you too Smee and anyone else on the chemo wagon right now.

Lovely to see you again HAggis. I start rads next Monday.

Feeling much the same as before on this final chemo. Very much looking forward to going to bed tonight!

Did the final planting on my allotment today (now officially known as The Farm). I made DH go there to see what I've been up to because i could tell he thought I'd barely done anything and he was impressed by my efforts. Let's hope they're worth it and something actually grows!

hello haggis !!
Hope you are comfy and sorted out seroma-wise cupcaked...
I didn't do inter railing but between foundation course and degree I spent 2 months travelling in the USA on greyhound buses with a girlfriend - East coast only,Boston,NY,Washingrton,Philadelphia and up to Niagara and into Canada to Toronto and Montreal - we had some fairly crazy times which my mum would have had a fit about but it was a huge adventure.

forgot to say- we had lunch with an old school friend today (was very nice lunch too) and she mentioned casually that she'd been recalled from a mammo (she has them every year as part of her private health scheme) because they found micro calcifications- had biopsy and it wasn't anything worrying thank goodness- but the thing that struck me was that she was completely blase about it all - maybe not blase, but not worried - I can remember being completely shocked by my recall and very worried..maybe that's just her- she's quite a dynamic,forthright woman-very successful businesswoman,so maybe that makes you feel invincible !

Hi MAS - have to say I was totally blase when I was recalled after initial mammogram - I sailed in assuming all would be fine! It was only when they mentioned the need for a biopsy that I started to think all might not be well. At least that meant I had one week's less worry/panic back then!

Trips to US and France sound good!

Hi Haggis - hope you're doing well. Its nice that you've dropped in. It must be odd when you finish treatment - knowing whether you want to drop in or not. I certainly understand the wish to move away from the whole thing but on the other hand this feels like a group of friends now. perhaps we'll need a new thread eventually so that we can rabbit on about our gardens

Pennies, the Farm is so impressive. Glad your DH thought so too. What will your first crop be and will you need a combine harvester? I trust you listen to The Archers to get all the agricultural tips.

Hoping CC is Ok and that KK's daughter is safely off for her adventures. At least she'll be on a train rather then hitch-hiking as my DD does. I do insist on a daily twitter update when she does this, even though she goes with a boyfriend.

CC - can you speak any Italian BTW? I do some Italian at sort of just above GCSE level and I love it. Want to go next year.

Hi to all - especially haggis, welcome back!

Yay to Pennies for the fianl chemo: I am glad you celbrated with bubbly. Truly a stylish and appropriate way to mark its passing.

Hope cupcaked's seroma clearance went OK: good luck to SR for rads, and MAS with the studio and tea!

And anyone else I have missed on a quick catch-up!

Nothing at all to report here - a quiet weekend, but just what I needed as I have a heavy cold. I am SO not into football, but I love the World Cup as it focuses my mind a nd I get through loads of lovely books.
Have restarted Wuthering Heights and I am loving it (but then I always have). I have a whole pile to get through, including one factual one, which I really, really want to read in spite of the fact that it is the book I always wanted to write myself. And that's a lesson to anyone putting off a long-held ambition!

Wuthering Heights.. my favourite too cakes. I think we have quite similar tastes by the sounds of it. What's the factual one then? Sounds intriguing if it's what you wanted to write.

cupcaked, hope you're not too sore. I had a small op a couple of weeks back - port on my new inplant flipped, so they had to turn it round. Was sore for a week and it so annoyed me as I couldn't go swimming or lie on my side. Somehow it rialled me far more than the mastectomy scar with all those drains. Must be because it seems so unnecessary. Hope you can have a quiet day though. Indulgence is surely earned?

kurri, I'd bet your DD will be fine and sensible. A friend's daughter's just off too and he's similarly nervous. She seems to be planning hundreds of stops. I was quite worn out listening to them all. Am sure she'll flake out half way through though. Hope your day in London was fun. Very sunny day here, so the weather's right for you.

MAS your friend maybe's just hugely relieved. I'd bet when she was waiting for the biopsy results she wasn't so calm. Glad she's got good news though.

When's the tea party then? Are you ready yet? We should all (virtually) come and eat scones with you.

Pennies, the Farm sounds fantastic. I'm still flunking carrot planting in our rather overgrown vegetable bed. Am so not worthy of sharing this thread. Slinks off to sit amidst her weeds..

Weeds here too, smee. Did a bit at the weekend (heavy digging for dh, light planting for me), but loads more to do.

The book is Calum's Road by Roger Hutchinson. It's about a great bloke on Raasay, which is a very small hebridean island that is just stunning. In the early part of the 20th century there was no road to the top of the island and so people were leaving: no-one would build a road so this guy called Calum McLeod designed he'd bloody well build his own. He bought a book on road building and spent 20 years doing it single handed. When he'd finished digging and laying the hardcore, the authorities got a bit shamefaced and tarmaced it.

I heard this story and we went (when I was pregnant with dd) to stand on his road and raise a cheer for the determined old goat. The island is stunning, and the road starts high up with a view over the sea to the mainland. There is a cairn there to remember Calum (he died in the 80s I think) and it is such an atmospheric place. I felt like crying when I stood there. He sounds like my kind of bloke (though clearly rather more energetic than me)

Sorry to wax so lyrical, but it is a lovely, lovely story about a great bloke. And that'll teach you not to ask unless you have half an hour to spare for the answer!

Oh no, that's so up my street. I might have to stick it on my Amazon list, as have never heard of it. Am similar in that I aspire to great acts/ deeds, but am just in awe of folk who manage it.

Yes, I expect she was relieved it was ok and she was telling us about it in hindsight,knowing all was well...
I didn't take to W Heights at all I'm afraid !
Good luck to KK's dd for a wonderful trip and hope cupcaked is doing comfortably today - lots of good thought to everyone having treatment this week.
You are all invited to cyber tea on Saturday afternoon !
Am off to take a friend with another friend (she is driving I am navigating) to Southampton hospital for some (scary sounding) neurological tests - I feel nervous on her behalf -first stop is at John Lewis and the shops at West Quays and a spot of lunch - then I must try to remember where the hospital is...it's where i had my rads,but I only know it from one direction.

Good luck for that MAS (lunch and shopping sound nice).

Saturday pm it is. Save me a virtual strawberry or five.

Amazon have the book, smee. And if you ever fancy the long old journey to Raasay, it will be time well spent. It is the land that time forgot (even with a wizzy new road)

With dd in tow i think the journey is a bit far for us, so we are making do this year with Arran. Lovely and so much easier to get to (still a bind, though)

Have never got that far north, Cakes. Though DS has Scottish blood and some of his ancestors hail from Skye, so we really should head up there. it is a long long way though, and those midges do bite..

MAS, hope your friend's appointment isn't too scary. On Saturday mine's a scone.

if you think that's bad - try Coll. You have to get to Oban in time for a ferry at 6am - so we drove all through the night, slept a couple of hours on the ferry terminal car park (dog harumphing at regular intervals at the lack of comfort), then got the 2 hour ferry trip to arrive at 9am, completely shagged out and unable to enter our cottage until 4pm. You've gotta be committed

That a typo cakes: 'should be committed'.

Mm, what lovely posts! Far flung Scotland, strawberries, novels - what could be nicer I have been up to Sutherland and would love to explore the West of Scotland more than I have. My nephew has a little house on the far North coast which he lets out but I haven't managed to get there yet - and he won't get there very often now as he has 2 little DCs! I think he was rather unrealistic about his Highland dream....

I couldn't get on with W. Heights - am a Jane Eyre fan myself. I wonder if I'll grow into it - I know its meant to be one of THE great romantic novels. I am a late developer ins ome respects eg didn't like olives till I was 45 so there's still hope.

Had rads today and all v. straightforward. Apparantly some poeple lose weight on rads so there's still some hope for me.

RWU - hope you're feeling better. Did you get DD's room sorted?

Sutherland and N coast of Scotland. if you go, take me with you!

I don't think you'll grow into Wuthering heights, SR - I loved it when I was 15 and I can't claim any real maturity even now, at 47. I think it is a bit barbaric, and it doesn't suit everyone. When I got to the bit where Cathy died I was sp upset I had to stop reading for a week. (Imay have taken it too much to heart)

Glad the rads went well. But I have to tell you I did NOT lose weight

I'd love to see Scotland - only been to Edinburgh
Glad that rads were ok SR - hadn't heard about losing weight - maybe it's water evaporation ! don't forget your aqueous now !
We had a quick lunch at John Lewis overlooking Southampton docks and a massive cruise ship- sensibly my companions had lovely soup but i am obsessed with scones so had to have a (very delicious) cheese scone. Nothing interesting in The Gap but got some bits in Paperchase then we did a mad dash to the hospital fearing we'd be late. Appointment went well and friend said it did hurt but was bearable (electric shocks into her leg- eeee !) Home earlier than expected and made myself toast and marmalade -oh yes, my diet is very healthy !

SR glad you've got one through then. How long does the round trip take? Am guessing it's time consuming even if it's close-by.

Cakes is right about WH, as I was a teenage junkie too. Seem to remember my heart stopped when Lockwood's hand was grasped by Cathy's fingers through the glass. Still makes me shudder now. Must be something primal about it for teenage girls, Cakes. Or maybe just teenage girls from Birmingham.

MAS, what's wrong with cheese scones and toast and marmalade?! Throw in an apple and you're healthy in my book. Glad your friend was alright, though it does sound a bit of an unpleasant consult. Really nice of you to go with her.

RWU, am hoping you're feeling a bit more like yourself. Let us know you're okay when you can.

I sometimes just crave baked goods !! I get things in my head and have to have them ! I did have some grapes and some nice salad later.
Hope 2nd rads goes ok SR

Yes home and think she did a good job, except that intraoperatively I got a big shot of steroids, so have been manic all day since. Just taken a zopiclone,
warning in case this posting truncates abruptly!

She has put a wick in cavity to keep it draining. There was also a lot of fluid round my right implant (got both after 13 months of breastfeeding ds3 reduced me from 32b/c to 32 a. Since I still had(have) an ass, and was fed up of not fitting dresses, I acquired these and revolutionised clothes shopping.) Anyway she thought the right one was acting as an irritant and took it out, and for the sake of balance took the left one out too, to be reinserted after chemo and radio finish. I forgot how nothing I had before implants, prev just had these 2 empty socks, now have bigger empty socks! The implants certainly improved things a lot but I always felt they were a little bit big at 32 c/d. I had had dh well primed at outset that they were not for his benefit tho he did seem to like them all the same.. Hasn't seen today's yet :0

Interrail, what fun: 2 fairly naive Irish girls in 1986 I think. London to Paris where we missed a decimal
point and blew a week's food budget on strawberries and ice cream in Champs Elysee. Then top bunks of overnight TGV to down to Nice, with 4 unintelligible middle aged drunk Frenchmen underneath,
don't think either of us slept a wink but held
hands across the top bunks! Explored monte Carlo and Biarritz also then down to Florence and Rome
where we learnt about unsafe Termini, but had to sleep on benches there anyway before brindisi and Ferry to Greece: plan was one of the little islands but we jumped ship in Corfu to avoid persistent admirers.
We slept on the beach there, v broke, pre
credit card days, and had to stay for 10 days as I sprained my ankle and got nasty septic graze on knee after lot of retsina and walking down bank to beach. Thence to Austria, and Salzburg (amMozart fan) last
meal there of cheap potatoes then back to Paris (scrounged sweets from my big brothers friends we met outside Tate) then hotfooted it home quite brown and skinny, and very dirty. Hope dd is good at sleeping in uncomfy spots, that she can tolerate being dirty, and that she has been practising a glare for those giving attention with which she does not want to engage. Maybe she has been practising on family over the last years??

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz in 2 min, got to run. More tomoro
on my new washboard chest if interested! Look like such a boy now, need to dress up with more flowers n colours and lippy.
Have a ball to KK's dd.