**TAMOXIFEN** 4th thread

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we go !

here

Pranma - I am also very sorry to read about your friend and wish you all strength for tomorrow. How proud your friend would be to hear you reading.

KK - I have a wonderful magnolia that is fantastic every spring. Not original I know but very beautiful! Or I think a fruit tree might be nice?

Funnily enough I have taken to doing a crossword every day while I've been off - its just the easy one but it does make my brain work a bit.

CC - yes I also felt liberated when I had my hair chopped! Well done! I bet it feels so much more comfortable too.

Those cakes look lovely MAS, I'm sure they will sell very well.

I was thinking of a fruit tree maybe SR. I love magnolias, but they can be a bit susceptible to frost I think(?) and we get some quite late ones here.

fallen lilac

Here's a picture of the tree on its side. We've started on the clearing now, so I took photo to show DD. You can see my raised bed slightly underneath it. (And my greenhouse right at the back of the garden) Please ignore the weedy patch

poor lilac - what beautiful flowers . Magnolias are lovely - not sure about their hardiness.

Magnolias do sometimes get frosted and their flowers go brown. This did not happen this year so it was a wonderful show for about 3-4 weeks. I was brought up in the far NE and never saw magnolias, I suppose this was probably due to the colder clime over there, come to think of it. Now that I'm in the NW and bit further South there are certainly more of them around.

Your poor lilac had lots of flowers - I imagine you now have vases full of them around your house.

Good luck with the cakes, MAS. I didn't get beyond thinking about having a tea! Will do it when I've got through all this though. A group of my friends and colleagues are all doing the Race for life and I think I'll just go and cheer them along. I had hoped to walk it but its at the w/e after I finish rads so now think walking that far a bit unlikely straight afterwards. Will have to see how I get one with CMF and rads together.

I'm drawing up a rota of frinds to come with me to rads as on some days I don't think I'll be up to driving 45 mins each way along the M56 just after chemo.

Pranma - thinking of you today

Pranma - so sorry Hope all goes well today and you are able to do the eulogy for her.

Cupcaked - well done for the hair and the get-up-and-go attitude. It's not easy to find that in yourself sometimes, but it does make life easier. I am guessing the wig is lovely - they are good these days.

KK - have you thought about Ceanothus - lovely blue flowers, unfortunately no scent - but pretty indestructible.

MAS - God those cakes sound good!

Hello All and hi to Cupcaked - thanks for the advice on chemo, it's very much appreciated. Your seroma sounds horrendous. I have one, but have never had it drained. Makes me feel like an alien's trying to escape most days, but still feel v.lucky it's manageable.

I've been off doing bank holiday type things and am now firmly entrenched in half term, trying to work alongside and get my head clear for first Chemo which has moved forward a day to Thursday, 'eck..

SR, I am still confused by your half sessions, but glad they're over 4 months not 8, was about to nominate you an endurance medal.

Kurri, am glad your DD's recital went well. She must be talented to be able to cover like that. about your tree though. I'd be upset too.

MAS, baking sounds like it's occupying all your time. All most impressive. I am still cursing you for mentioning Galaxy Counters. Could become a new sport for you all; mention a form of chocolate and watch Smee bound for the shops..!

Pranman, what a thing to do. Reading at funerals is never easy, but for such a good friend who you have such obvious links, I should think it's nigh on impossible. Hope you get through it for both of you.

• finally Cakes how's your back?? Any easier? Really hope so.

Also keeping you in my thoughts Pranma.

Thanks for the suggestion Cakes - ceanothus is pretty, but we have one in the front garden . We looked at a few things yesterday, and liked some, but haven't quite decided yet. There is no rush though as we are still clearing the lilac, - the stump is proving rather stubborn.

Off to the dentist now to have my crown fitted. Am arming myself with paracetamol for afterwards!

Hope everyone had a relaxing weekend

hope dentist is gentle !
What about a buddleia ?
As for galaxy counters - dh is now very keen on these which is why there are 2 bags in the cupboard....

MAS, they get as far as your cupboard.

Smee, don't u worry about Thursday. I am just home after second chemo, so much less worrying than first one as know what to expect now, and really not too bad. Hair the worst bit, and to be specific anticipation of losing it all was the worst, the shaving itself was fine. As cakes says, wigs are good, am pleased with mine. Still more comfortable for me not to wear it but don't think dh that comfy with looking at my head which annoys me disproportionately! Now under duvet reading paper and eating Flyte bar (oops sorry!) in case sick later, my mum is ironing, and pal bringing round tea at 6. Excellent support team critical to this! Seroma still like alien but seems little less keen to escape last few days so fingers crossed stays in there, can't do scalpel again..

KK all the best with dentist, commiserations!

Pranma, thinking of you today. Virtual hugs, I bet your friend also sending virtual hugs from wherever she is.

well done for getting through second chemo cupcaked.
Hope today was bearable pranma

Hooray for cupcaked. Two down sounds like a great achievement. Thanks for reassurance - chocolate under the duvet is now a goal for my return then.

Hope today went peacefully, and you are coping Pranma. Be kind to yourself

I survived the dentist although he seems to have left some gritty bits of cement in my mouth - mmmmm crunchy!

Fingers crossed for Thursday Smee (x posted with you earlier, not ignoring you), take it as it comes is my probably cliched advice, and as SR said, let your body tell you what you can manage.

CC - well done on getting the second one under your belt, as you say, you have a bit more idea what to expect and how you will feel after the first. Chemo day always a good chance for treats I reckon!

People need to stop mentioning galaxy counters - I'm supposed to be losing weight here, and have zero willpower.

DD had a conducting exam today, which was apparently 'OK', she doesn't have many left now.

Yes I buddleia is lovely, and I like the idea of something for butterflies, they are quite scented too think. I did see a very pretty thornless hawthorn, with deep pink flowers, - I thought the berries would attract birds. DH is hovering between different trees,so to speak. (We did see an apple tree, variety 'Katy' which would be fun as its my name!)

well done to KK's dd - conducting must be quite hard...
I can recommend a quince tree - a friend of mine had a spare one stuck in a pot,looking very sad so we took it and planted it last year -I thought it might've died over the winter but it's now flourishing with lovely big floppy leaves and a few weeks ago it had pretty white flowers.
Another beautiful tree which I love and is in my front garden -a tamarisk - right ow mine is full of pink frondy blossom,pretty as anything. apparently they are sea side loving trees.(i live about an hour from any sea)

Tamarisks are beautiful (again we have one - sorry I keep saying that, not showing off -it was there when we bought the house, it is absolutely lovely). Funnily enough, a very nice woman knocked on my door last week to ask what it was, as she wanted a new tree for her garden. I snipped a bit off for her, and we got chatting about plants. Turns out she lives at the far end of the village - I didn't know her, but she said drop in for a coffee. That's my 'new friends from trees' story of the day

Yes well done Cupcakes on being two down.

Smee - good luck for tomorrow and remember to drink as much as poss today and tomorrow.

Pranma - I hope you're OK, its such a sad time for you and you'll need a while to deal with your loss. Treat yourself as a best friend for a while.

KK - nice tree friends story!

I have been staying inside as am waiting (in vain so far) for a nurse to ring me back. Have a feeling she might not....in which case I shall go and see if I can find her on Friday after I see the onc for a review.

Meanwhile Hve been doing major spring clean. I bought some 'Kitechen Cupboard Cleaner' from Lakeland a while ago so have cleaned all my doors, removed ancient stickers, pictures etc and I think they look better - bet no-one else notices though! Our kitchen is rather dated now but we're getting the new flooring I've proba already mentioned, and so I thought I should clean things up a bit. Am considering getting a decorator in September to give it a lick of paint too. Isn't it amazing what you can do when not at work? I'm usually too exhausted to do any of these things, but now in my 'good week' I can manage quite a lot in short bursts! I suppose I might not have a 'ggod week' when on CMF though, from what I've read...will have to wait and see from TUesday.

I am reading The Road Home by Rose Tremain at the mo - very good book. Although I liked the latest Maggie O'Farrell even more.

MAS and KK - you seem to have lovely trees. I hope mine will look more lovely when the man has pruned them , assuming this man actually turns up...Any ideas for what I could do with our garden? Its a long straight oblong at the moment, with a little setp-stone path down the right hand side. I've been thinking it would look better with a lawn with curves but the path wouldn't work then and that blocks my brain from developing the idea any further! The potential cost of a redesign is another block.

Think we need to eliminate shed and get a prettier little structure to encouarge sitting out in the sunniest corner - have asked gardener how much he'd charge for clearing it up, getting rid of old green house glass. etc. Must stop rambling.

Smee - good luck for tomorrow -as SR says, just keep drinking. And all will be fine.

Tamarisks are so lovely - there is a beauty at the top end of my favourite beach in the whole world. I have a hankering to get one, now you've put them in my head. Do they smell of anything? I do like plants to be scented, although exceptions can always be made when they are that pretty. I think it is the way they move in the breeze that really makes them special.

Hope you are all feeling OK, especially pranma, for the horrid time you have had this week, and haggis, who seems to have gone awol for a bit.

I am doing the playdates thing for all I am worth this week. Groan! I am off to send the latest one home now (have had her since 10am - she's no trouble at all, actually, but I think it is long enough)

just popping in - a friend has been to visit today -tamarisks don't have a scent as far as I can tell but are just so lovely that it is reason enough to have one !
Good luck tomorrow Smee
and well done for spring cleaning SR - you must feel so good when a task like that is done -I view dusting like that- hideously boringly tiresome but I feel quite cheered afterwards when it looks shiny and smells of lemony stuff

Good luck tomorrow Smee, I hope it all goes well for you.

My tamarisk has no scent to speak of, but very pretty, and I should think fairly easy to grow - ours hasn't shown any signs of being temperamental.

Well done on the spring cleaning SR, - every time I think I should do some, I find myself wandering out into the garden instead

Long oblong gardens can be a bit tricky, our last garden was similar to yours by the sound of it. I think a nice seating area where you can relax is a good idea, and possibly something with water, - we have a small pond and it is very cooling and refreshing to sit beside, and it attracts loads of wildlife. I also think the sound of water is very calming. Would a rockery be a possibility?, - they break up the shape a bit, and give some height and different varieties of plants. I think IIRC we had curved borders of varying sizes down one edge of our long garden, which made it all a bit softer in shape.

I've been to yoga this morning, and planting up some tubs this afternoon. Also my radishes are ready to harvest, so we'll have those for tea. Tomorrow is (AKAIK) my last herceptin but also a bit nervous - I can't remember what life was like before I was doing my hospital trips

Well done on the playdates Cakes, tiring - but they do love to have friends round don't they. Love to everyone, and good luck with treatments. Hope those who have just had one aren't feeling too bad.

KK - how fantastic to be having your last treatment. I bet it will be an emotional event - hope you take your Kleenex.

Thank-you for garden suggestions - I'm going out there now to think about a curve on one side. There is a rockery but its got taken over by some horrid bush which spreads all the time. Gardener will have to take it out as its terribly hard to pull out - I shouldn't have let it spread so much I don't know what it is but it has white berries? - Any idea?

KK - last herceptin -yay !! but actually I do understand a bit - the end of radiotherapy made me feel a bit odd because it was the end of being looked after every day -iyswim.
Well done for getting through it

KK a big yeay from me too!! What a fantastic time to finish too, just as summer stretches ahead. Am sure it must feel odd, but it's still brilliant.

I am an enthusiast gardener but completely inept, so have nothing to add on the tree debate. We do have a rather gorgeous fig tree though.

SR, is the Maggie O'Farrell worth buying then?? I loved her first, but was disappointed with the second. Not that it was bad in any way, more that I thought so much of 'After You've Gone', so was a bit bereft when the next didn't grip me.

Thanks all for good wishes. Am sure it'll be okay tomorrow. Probably a relief to get one through. Am so over hydrated that I need to pee every half hour. Probably won't be able to sit still long enough for them to get the drugs in..