Come and tell me it will all work out.... (long post)

[skandi1]

Hi

Had lovely DD in July last year - my first. Had a great pregnancy except for polyhydramious at the end and a horrible horrible birth.

As it was my first, I didn't know what to really expect and believed all the pregnancy books who tell you that "your body will be back to normal in about 6 to 8 weeks". Ha bloody ha!

Its now 9 months and my body just seems broken. The effects of large baby (9lbs 4oz) and extra fluid (lots and lots measured 48cm at the end - massive), meant that that my stomach muscles seperated (diastisis recti) and the accompanying lower back pain masked SPD/pelvic girdle pain.

On top of the pain I also look 6 months pregnant due to the seperation.

Cherry on the icing really has to be that I have also started suffering from Rosacea and have a permanently red face. Am taking antibiotics now but very little difference in the redness and dermatologist has told me that face will probably remain red (bordering on purple without antibiotics)

I started physio for the seperation but had to stop in December as physio don't do out of hrs appointments and DH got too busy at work to take time off. We've no family withing 1000 miles (literally) so wanted to hire nanny to look after DD while I did physio once a week. However DD will not be left with anyone and screams and scream till she's sick if I leave her with anyone but DH. 5 months on I'm on nanny no 4 - my 4th and has to be final attempt! Don't want to upset DD anymore than necessary. So far this lady looks promising and DD seems to really like her so perhaps I can get back to physio.

But in the meantime I've been diagnosed with teh SPD (which has become unbelievably painful) and will need more physio for that. Am having to pay for it all privately as GP literally laughed at me when I asked for physio and told me that DD would be at school before I'd get seen (she was 9 weeks at the time).

I was a fit healthy size 10 pre pregnancy with an active life and social life.

I no longer recognise myself and just feel really sad to have changed so much from this lovely (and often told attractive) person to this big limping lump with the face of a wino (have been teetotal all my life how unfair is that!).

Too embarrased to go out mostly and fear meeting anyone I know (or rather used to know) - when I do I can tell they look really shocked at how I've changed.

Just feel sad really and I seem so "broken" that I don't know where to start with fixing myself.

I've been trying to stay positive and enjoy DD but its getting harder. If I could solve one of the issues, the constant agonising pain, the red face or the horrible stomach, I feel I could move forward.

Please tell me it will be ok! And share if you have any good ideas/tips.

It will work out.You sound exhausted and run down.

You need to look after yourself.

Take the nanny with you to the physio she can then take you DD for a walk but come back to you if she needs to.That way you will relax and that will help.

Tummy muscles.Lie on your back and as you breath out pull your tummy muscles in ,inhale and relax repeat 10 x, then do the same but with a pelvic tilt also.10 x
Do this everyday for 4 weeks.Get your physio to check that you are doing it correctly and get them to check for seperation.

Try and hold your tummy muscles in 20% when ever you are standing this takes practice.

SPD you need to follow all the advice about keeping your legs together etc. Do you know what the advice is ?

fidelma
Thank you.
Good idea on taking them both to physio. Should minimise wailing and perhaps DD will learn to spend a few minutes without mummy.

I've got lots of exercises given to me by the physio to do both for the tummy and the SPD.

My SPD is not at the front at such (it was at first just after birth) but at the sacroiliac joints of the hip at the back hence it was lost in the whole lower back pain thing.

Its very difficult to find any execercise that suits both the tummy and the SPD other than some basic pelvic floor and core things which I have been doing for months but no real progress and the pain from SPD is continually increasing.

Was it this hard for you?? I'm always reading about how women are stronger physically after pregnancy - where did I go so wrong?

Just want it all to stop - its like a bad dream and I feel

For some your body does change but it will also settle down.You do sound like you need some good physio to get things back into place.

You should see some results with the physio if not try someone eles.

I used to have a lovely tummy,it is now covered in stretch marks,my back is also not quite right at the moment but I am having some physio and I know that I will be in good nick within a year.