Can DP avoid circumcision for tight foreskin? Any help REALLY appreciated!

[msrisotto]

Consultant he was referred to gave him 30 seconds of his time, told him a circumcision would do the trick and practically pushed him out of the room. DP managed to say "I don't particularly want that" and was told he could decide on the day (of the operation!)!

So basically, no other options were suggested and he/we really don't want circumcision as the first solution (though steroid creams have been tried and failed). Anyone have ANY advice? He's so upset and we're thinking of scraping money together to get a private consultation. A second opinion is not a priority on the NHS so he would be at the bottom of the list and we basically can't have sex in the meantime because it hurts, cuts and bleeds.

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There was an article posted here a while back about why circumcision is not always necessary - will try to find it for you.

How would he feel about a partial circumcision, that might also be an option - ie removing part but not all of the foreskin. I don't know anything about his condition so don't know if it would be likely to help or not.

My DS had circumcision for tight foreskin and have a friend who had it done in his mid 30s.

There is an less severe operation which basically creates a dorsal cut that loosens the foreskin. It is called preputioplasty. It is effectively a kind of minor plastic surgery operation.

Get DP to go back to his GP and ask for a second opinion and ask about preputioplasty. What the onsultant did was unforgiveable and your DP should not feel he has to go private.

Thanks Bertie & ABD - we were pretty stunned and devastated afterwards tbh. It's like going to the Dr's, saying your finger hurts and them suggesting they lop it off, then it won't hurt anymore!

A big worry of ours is that he will lose sensitivity, we liked our sex life before this tightening thing happened!

Very interested in the alternatives you have suggested, will google, and make a note to speak to a 2nd opinion Dr about it too.

Preputioplasty definitely worth considering if your dh doesn't want to lose his foreskin. I'm not so convinced by partial circumcision myself, but only because a) if this doesn't work, you have to have another extremely painful operation to remove the rest (dorsal cut sounds a lot less agonising!!!!); and b) in my dh's experience, the remaining bit of foreskin is just a lovely damp, dark site for developing a revolting post-operative infection, which you do not discover until your dw points out that the inflammation should be going down a couple of days after the operation, not causing your penis to swell to an ever more impressive size. (It wouldn't have looked out of place on an elephant...).

Ask your Dr to re-refer you on what's called a "refer and book" system that the Dr can do there and then...I never knew about this until recently.

They can log onto the "system" in he surgery, select the hosptial you want to go to and you should get a much earlier appt.

Also look for a specialist (look at the site called Dr Foster) see what hospitals they work at and ask for that particular hosp - worth a try and definately, definately get a 2nd opinon

I don't think you should fret so much- I can see why a man doesn't want to lose any part of his anatomy there but my DH was circumcised very young- he can't remember the op- andhe is fine. No problems with sensitivity- still like a teenager of 16 after any long gaps!
It's also much more hygenic and easier for me to man handle etc etc.

This "refer and book" system sounds good, but why wouldn't the GP have done this at the time? We waited weeks for that bloody consultant appointment where he was in and out in 10 mins.

Thanks for the site reccommendation. We'll try to ask for a specific consultant.

superme - unless the infection or related issues are ongoing, I still think it'd be better to have a partial than a full circumcision. I may have read horror stories but on the web, there seem to be so many men who have significantly reduced sensation and even can't orgasm!

REALLY appreciate your contributions everyone! Thank you!

OP- that simply isn't true- about men who can't orgasm after circumcision! As I said, my DH has had the op and is fully functional! The reason some men say they have lack of sensation is that the glans gets used to being exposed ( having no protective foreskin)and "rubbed" by clothing so it can sometimes become less sensitive during sex.

I have to say that this is not a problem I have encountered after being married for 25 years. I also think that many women would prefer a man who is not quite so sensitive at times

Obviously it is a very personal issue and it bothers some men greatly, but I have to agree with purplepeony that the loss of sensation issue can't be that great in the overwhelming majority of people - the majority of the US male population have been circumcised and I don't hear many Americans complaining about it. It may feel different, but that doesn't automatically mean it feels less good. And having no foreskin is clearly vastly better than the agony of having a tight foreskin. Add to that the fact that my dh did have continuing issues from his post-operative infection: he would bleed and get a bit sore after sex at the site of the infection and had to start wearing condoms again to stop that bit of foreskin being pulled right back. This was still an issue well over a year after the operation and now, several years later, whilst it may not be a physical issue any more, my dh has been remarkably mute about suggesting any other form of birth control, so we haven't had unprotected sex in a long time. I would much rather he'd had the whole foreskin removed when he had the original operation as he would be far too scared now to go back and have the rest taken off if I suggested it!!! Obviously he was unlucky, but I still think it's pretty painful to have part of your foreskin removed, so you would want to be pretty confident you never had to go back to take off a bit more!!!!!!!!

Well, my view is that the majority of men in America who have been circumcised were done so as a baby so don't know any different. There are plenty of lobbying groups on the internet with lots of angry men who miss their foreskin!

The foreskin is where a lot of nerve endings are and so removing that will reduce some sensation. However, you do have to balance it up with the pain he has currently, alternative options etc.

Thanks for sharing your husbands experiences rabbit. As a result, we will ask the success rates and potential aftermath of each option available to him.

purplepeony - I am not one of those women.

If it helps, DP had this done for similar reasons, and is really glad he did (as am I). No problems with sensitivity whatsoever, he says he's more sensitive because of it, and I agree with whoever mentioned the hygiene issue too.

Only issue was he felt sore for weeks after the op, and sex was off the menu for a few weeks. Well worth it though.

My DH has his appt with the specialist for this very thing next week. Our GP did say it would probably mean circumcision and DH is horrified.

We've read a lot about steroid creams being used to treat this but the GP didn't seem keen on the idea.

Good luck Rossco. Don't accept circumcision as the first resort. The googling preputioplasty, frenuloplasty (which looks like is maybe more relevant to my DP) have been really useful to me.