He had an appointment with his general paed today, but she didn't know any more and was as frustrated as us. What's holding it up now is waiting to see the oncologist, the final member of the team, after which they'll all get together and decide if they agree. She said it was pointless her guessing yet, but they may shrink it via steroids, chemo or radiotherapy. Then again, she thinks they'll want a tissue sample ultimately. She's doing all the ringing round and chasing up for us, but she did say that she'd rung Manchester and they'd been unhelpful. I think that's the measure of that place - the surgical/etc teams are great, but the admin/communications side of things are atrocious.
Lots of people have said I seem calm. I suppose it's because I only seem to have 2 speeds - hysteria or calm. I don't feel calm inside much of the time. I have typed some incoherant posts, but I've scrapped them. Actually, the typing process helps you to focus. But I do feel that if I could only 'break down', I'd feel a lot better, but I still have all the usual functions to perform, so I suppose it's off the cards.
I'm on a short fuse with the children, unfortunately. I seem to have slipped into a weird phase of almost viewing ds2 as if he's someone elses, which may be a safety mechanism, but it doesn't feel very nice, because it means I have no patience.
Other people have said that his stroppiness may be a phase and it may well be, but he's also doing things that neither of them have done before, such as hitting and attacking.
DS1's birthday went really well. He had a tiny party (2 friends) at the local Brewsters and enjoyed it just as much as the big ones - so there's food for thought for other years!