Sterilisation

[Bumblelion]

Has any woman been sterilised and now regret it or was it the best thing you have ever done.

I am 36 and feel my family is complete - was with husband since I was 16 and we split 18 months ago.

I have got 3 children - girl of 10, boy of 6 and girl of 20 months.

Am now in new relationship with an acquaintance from many years ago after having met up last June after not seeing each other for 12 years.

Relationship built very slowly, started out just as friends, and we have both been totally honest with each other about our pasts.

My new man (don't know what to call him!) was married at a young age to an older woman and helped bring up her son for the first 5 years of his life and he also had a son (now aged 6) with his wife, although he doesn't see the boys that often as they live in another part of the country.

He also has a baby son from another relationship, which finished last March - months before his new baby was born - girlfriends choice, not his to split, although he does still see his son.

We have had conversations about children and I have said that I feel my family is complete and he said that he feels the same, his bearing children is complete, as he has one son from one marriage, another son from another relationship and also the son from his first wife's previous relationship who he thinks of as his son.

He has more or less moved into my house and my children get on great with him. He also knows my husband from before we were married (I used to work with him and we all used to go out on a Friday night) and actually, when my ex-h comes round on a Wednesday night to see the children, my ex-h has more to say to my new man than he has to me, which feels quite strange.

We have discussed contraception, obviously. Iam currently on the mini pill (because of my age and I smoke) but have been having problems with it - break through bleeding, etc.

Fancy having the coil fitted again as a temporary measure before finally getting sterilised.

I said I would quite happy be sterilised but not before I am 40 (am currently 36). DP has said that he would quite happily be sterilised instead and I said he was too young (3 years younger than me) so he said he would be sterilised at 40 but that means it is even further in the future than me having it done.

What does sterilisation for a woman involve - anyone been there.

Obviously I would not have it done unless I was 100% certain it was the right thing for me.

I love my 3 children, DP is brilliant with them, we are both happy with our OWN children and am certain we don't want to have one together but I can't imagine how I would feel if I was sterilised knowing that I CAN'T have one, even if I wanted to.

SORRY IGNORE THIS MESSAGE.

Started this thread, without reading messages on the other contraception thread, giving me links to other sterilisation threads.

Will read those through.

Thanks Zebra for those links.

Bumblelion I was sterilised Dec 01, I'm 36 now, and I feel totally liberated by it. It's a day case procedure done under a GA, I felt fine and was back to normal after about 48 hours. My periods are heavier at the beginning but shorter than before, so I have a day or two of using super tampons then down to regular for 2 more days then it's over. It's a very big decision though so take your time deciding.

I was sterlized just before my 30th birthday, 8 years ago. I had 2 beautiful daughters, one was 8, the other 6. I knew my family was complete and whatever happened I didn't want any more children. DH didn't want any more children either, but in the 'wife and kids wiped out by a bus' scenario, he couldn't say he would never want more kids - so it was down to me.

Really easy procedure - totally liberating as I can't take the pill, mini-pill didn't work (dd2), diaphragm didn't work (dd1), condoms are a total turn-off for us both, and I'd had a coil fitted for a number of years but it was starting to give me some problems.

No regrets whatsoever!

Lou33 - how many kids do you have? any regrets on sterilisation? any one have any regrets? I'm 37 - pregnant with second (by accident), but the thought of sterlisation scares me. It isn't that I'm not certaom that my family will be done after this baby, but it is more some sense that my femininity or feelings of youth (or something strange like that) may be diminished. Make any sense?

I have 4 Tinyfeet, and really couldn't have coped with another one. My dh seems to have sperm that gets through all known defences, so this was the only option considering he refused absolutely to have the snip, citing worries about testosterone levels and the run over by a bus thing . My response to that one was I didn't want him to have anymore kids, he should be concentrating on bringing up ours instead!

Actually I really do feel liberated, it's wonderful to know I won't get pregnant again, and that in a way has made me feel younger. I certainly don't feel less feminine, but if you are not certain then I would say wait. I dithered after number 3 which is why I have number 4, but knew I didn't want any more after he was born.

I was sterilised after 4 children because any further children would be severely affected by rhesus antibodies. However, every month I am disappointed that I haven't accidentally got pregnant. I do not feel any less feminine, but I do miss not having the 'choice' whether I get pregnant or not, IYKWIM. I knew I shouldn't have any more so sterilisation was entirely the correct choice. I nearly 33 when it was done. The procedure itself was absolutely fine. My last baby is now 9 years old and I would still love to get pregnant. What a nutter, eh?

I think I know what you mean, Mears - it is how I fear feeling. There is something nice (I think) about the possibility that you may be pregnant, although I think after 4 kids, I would be absolutely certain that I wouldn't want any more. I will try to convince Dh to get snipped after this one is born.