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Original poster

How much do you need to drink to have a problem?

38 replies

lilacclaire · 20/03/2010 19:27

I know there's a few threads already on this, please bear with me.

Drink about 20 units (or more) 2 or 3 times a week.
Can't stop once i've started until all drink is gone.
Always feel guilty and terrible the next day, my son has missed school 2 or 3 times as i've been too hungover to get him there, Im so ashamed to admit that.

I don't want to drink anymore.
I don't think im physically dependant, but it's definetly psychological.
Any advice anyone?
Im off to get ds ready for bed and shall return in a while.

OP posts:
OhSheesh · 20/03/2010 19:42

I think you have made a fantastic first step in admitting to yourself that you have a problem simply by posting. Perhaps you could see your GP?

BattyKoda · 20/03/2010 19:47

I don't think it depends on how much you drink for it to be a problem. It's a problem if it's causing problems IYSWIM. It's obviously affecting your life, and you've made a great first step in seeking advice. Definately talk to your GP (if you have a good one) or check out the AA website, and maybe get in touch with them, they are fantastic. Good luck

Kewcumber · 20/03/2010 19:51

having a drink problem is not about how much you drink. Some people can have a drink problem on very little, some people who drink a lot don't have a problem.

The questions to ask (in my mind) is my relationship with alcohol normal (ie would a third party look and me and think my drinking is a problem) and can you stop after one or two glasses.

IMO your DS missing school because you aren't capable of getting him there and not being able to stop until all the drink is gone is clearly a problem. And you obviously know that or you wouldn't have posted!

I agree with Sheesh, this is a good start - next step is either your GP or if you can face it alcoholics anonymous.

Physical/emotional not important IMO at this stage, addiction is addiction.

sarah293 · 20/03/2010 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

duckyfuzz · 20/03/2010 19:55

agree with others, you already know you have a problem - and admitting that is the first hurdle

see if you can get help and try to keep busy, find things to do when you would normally have a drink e.g. if its the evenings once your son is in bed, set yourslef something to do like sorting out clothes, photos, garden - distraction will help!

Original poster
lilacclaire · 20/03/2010 20:12

Thanks, would rather not go to GP.
I have looked at AA website but didn't know if I was 'bad enough' to warrent going or if i'd look like a fraud, iyswim.
Doing something in place of it, would definetly need to be addressed I think.

OP posts:
skidoodly · 20/03/2010 20:18

You would not seem like a fraud.

Original poster
lilacclaire · 20/03/2010 20:21

Im crapping myself at the thought of it.
I'll try and crack the next 7 days myself, if I can't manage it, i'll go. There's one very close to me.

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 20/03/2010 20:22

why on earth would you be a fraud?! You feel you have a drinking problem, AA might be able to help. That's what they are there for.

My uncle has been sober for 30 years thanks to AA. Its not for everyone but certainly worth a try.

BattyKoda · 20/03/2010 20:23

Honestly there is no admission policy at the AA . It's nice to have some support, just stick your head round the door and see what you think.

Do you drink at home? Do you have a DP, do they drink?

Original poster
lilacclaire · 20/03/2010 20:27

Mostly at home, although I did go out for lunch last week and arrived home 12 hours later...........
DP will have a drink as well, though not to my extent.

OP posts:
BattyKoda · 20/03/2010 20:29

Have you spoken to him about your worries? Would he be supportive, perhaps lay of the drink for a bit, not have any the house etc?

EllieMental · 20/03/2010 20:29

AA will not worry about whether you are 'bad'# enough. Everyone is different and you think you have a dependancy issue, so that is enough. Can't hurt to try, eh?

Tortington · 20/03/2010 20:31

i think the dvery definition is that it interfers with your life. so kids not going to school is a biggee.

dh get wankered once a week - its like hes entitles to it - he wont have it that there is a drink problem involved - but it interferes withour life and i think that is the very definition - not the frequency, not the type of alcohol - but that you cannot functionas normal people woudl

anyway -well done for admitting this

Original poster
lilacclaire · 20/03/2010 20:31

I couldn't touch the stuff he drinks, its a whiskey or a beer and even the smell makes me feel ill, so his drink in the house wouldn't be a problem.
I haven't spoken to him about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
lilacclaire · 20/03/2010 20:35

Not getting ds to school a few times has shamed/shocked me into actually doing something.
I am so hot on him having a good diet, being healthy blah blah and I can't even get him to school.

OP posts:
BattyKoda · 20/03/2010 20:40

Do you think you could speak to him about it? It really is fantastic that you want to do something about it.

Original poster
lilacclaire · 20/03/2010 20:48

I don't want to talk to him about it, I feel resentful towards him a lot of the time for other reasons (not related to my drinking or cause me to drink).
I think he would be very dismissive and accuse me of attention seeking tbh.
Would it be massively detrimental to just not include him, the only thing he would notice is that I would not be drinking iykwim.

OP posts:
BattyKoda · 20/03/2010 20:56

No - I think it would be helpful - not detrimental. But all the more reason to get some support, such as the AA. Or even if you really don't feel you could manage that yet, how about posting here to say how your getting on for the first few days?

Original poster
lilacclaire · 20/03/2010 21:07

My first real 'danger' nights will be monday and tuesday, im off to do a 24hr shift tommorow. Biggest danger night will be Friday.
Some support sounds good to be able to keep it going. If I can get through the first week it would be a massive step for me.
Think i'll treat myself to some posh soft drinks and as the better weathers coming in I could go out some long walks in the evening, could even walk past the AA meeting place and see if I've got the guts to go in (probably not).
Thanks, even just talking helping me formulate a non drinking plan.
I should stick a picture of myself up from a couple of years ago when I didn't drink at all and compare it to the puffy faced drinking face im now sporting!

OP posts:
BattyKoda · 20/03/2010 21:20

Just try to focus on something else, buy a book, take up a new hobby, yoga?

Walking sounds like a great idea, especially if you'll be walking past the AA, you may surprise yourself, even if not the first time.

Also, formulating a plan is a good idea, but just take each day as it comes, don't worry about not drinking for a week/a month/a year, just concentrate on not having a drink today.

darkandstormy · 20/03/2010 21:38

lilaclaire.I am in exactly the same boat as you.I have vowed to myself to go to gp next week.Please check out bright eyes counselling on the net,this is a brilliant place for people in our position.Lets take the pledge,onwards and upwards.Good Luck,many others have packed in the booze it is achievable.

Original poster
lilacclaire · 20/03/2010 21:38

Yoga, oh my word lol !
A book sounds more like it
Right, one day at a time, here I go

OP posts:
BattyKoda · 20/03/2010 21:40

Good luck x You've done the hardest bit already!

darkandstormy · 20/03/2010 21:47

lilaForgot to mention on the bright eyes site they have 7 day challenge, 1 month challenge etc,all with brilliant support forums.Good luck