Worried about elderly stepfather's memory loss

[SamboM]

My mum called me today and said that my Stepfather who is 83 has been getting very forgetful, but in a kind of worrying way. They were going to a party on Saturday and he couldn't remember how to tie his tie, tried for 15 mins and got really frustrated and quite aggressive (she thinks that this is because he is worried about it of course).

The other day they were playing cards, a game that they have played together for years and he had no idea what to do. Apparantly his father had what would probably now be called Alzheimers.

My mum is much younger than him, only 64, so she obviously notices it more than she would if she were the same age. She said that he seems to be worried about it but she doesn't want to bring it up in case he realises she has noticed and that she is worried and then he will worry even more.

Can anyone tell me if this is a normal sort of memory loss for someone of his age or whether it may be the start of something more sinister. He has always been a mentally active sort of person and is very bright so it must be pretty scary for him. And her.

Any advice gratefully received

My father is 86 now, but a couple of years ago we noticed the same kind of 'forgetfullness' you are talking about. He was referred by the GP to the memory clinic where he had tests done by psychiatrist and psychologist. He has been diagnosed as having early alzheimers and in on medication called Galantamine to slow the progression of the alzheimers. My mum is only 70 so they are a similar sounding couple. It is worrying and he has good and bad days. However, my mum sees an improvement with the medication. It is definately worth seeing the GP about.

I agree that it probably does, unfortunately, sound like early alzheimers. My grandmother got like this, initially it just seemed 'normal' forgetfulness which we put down to old age - some things were even quite amusing, which I feel guilty about now but at the time it just seemed funny. She used to phone my office a lot and ask what the time was for example! I also believe that alzheimers can be hereditary (great - my grandmother and great-grandmother had it!); I would advise you to seek medical help for your stepfather. Good luck.

Oh dear. I was hoping you would all say that this is quite normal for someone of that age.

Can anyone tell me the difference between senile dementia and Alzheimers btw?

Unfortunately, I'd agree as well as both my father and mother had/have Alzheimers. Would recommend consultation with doctor as soon as possible. New medication can help to offset massive decline, albeit temporarily, but it does help. Some county councils now have great support networks in place - I'd investigate and find out as much as possible asap. Wish I'd recognised/come to terms with the signs earlier. Alzheimers society has a network of support that you may find useful - you can contact people locally who've had to deal with this issue. Lots of luck as it's a horrible illness.

SamboM, I do sympathise, I'm beginning to have similar concerns myself. As far as I know, senile dementia is a catch-all title, Alzheimer's is a type of senile dementia characterised by fibrillary tangles and plaques in the brain, but obviously this is only seen at post-mortem. I hope we're all wrong, but go with the advice, get him to a GP (easier said than done, I know).

message withdrawn

My mother has dementia. It can be hard to diagnose in the early stages. I would advise you to get a referal to a specialist asap. There are drug treatments that can help. But they can't repare the damage once it is done. You might also want to think about support services for your mother, if they are needed. It is much better to sort these things out early on, before it becomes a crisis. Have a google for the Alzheimers society. They have all sorts of information for family and patients.

Thank you all, I will definitely pass all of this advice on to my Mum.