Am having a really bad day, can someone come give me an un MN hug (LONG ONE)

[bargainhuntingbetty]

Dad is recovering from cancer and has just been told he has to go back in for more major surgery in 2 weeks time. Mum and dad not handling it well and mum has just lost the plot on the phone to me. Called her to tell her that dh wanted to take the dd's out in his wagon today and she lost the plot (crying etc) not because of this but just because she heard my voice.

I called dh to say that mum was very upset and needed the distraction of the kids and he went off in a huff becuase 'he doesnt get a say in what happens with his kids, he just does as he is told'. I sooo didnt need that.

I have been very stressed and upset all week about my dad and have been waiting for my mum to react like this. DH has been working crazy hours this week too so have been on my own a lot doing jobs that he normally does (which resulted in me attempting to fix the car and made it worse).

On top of all of this I seem to be having almost weekly hormone migraine type headaches which make me feel sick and bleed which I assume is being caused by the coil.

Am a mess now and have stuff to do.

?????????????

Am off to do something now. No point wallowing any longer.

big hugs from me.

i think it needs a sit down conversation with your dh. there is a chain here.

your dad is sick

your mum is worried about him

you are worried about both of them

your dh is worried about you.

everyone is getting the stress at some level and its about talking and acknowledging this.

then ask him for a big hug and have a cry.

.

dh doesnt seem worried about me. I am definately not getting that vibe from him. Have just sat down and put everything on paper I will maybe show him later and he can see why I have been like this all week.

Big Long Hug Granted.

Not sure if you just want to let off steam, in which case steam away - or might want to talk to someone. If so, are there any cancer support charities in your area that offer family support? Our local Macmillan have a brillant support for families including children, so might be worth checking.

Given the stress you must all be under it's not surprising you are all finding it difficult (would you expect another family to cope any better?) so do try not to be too hard on yourself.

I hope that the surgery goes well, and that you can all move forward.

Good Luck.

dont show him a letter - thats pants and a prelude to a row - guarenteed.

just ask him for a hug

just a hug.

and have a good cry.

I just feel that I shouldnt be this stressed as it is not me directly who is dealing with my dad. It is my mum who is dealing with him daily I just hear about it thats all. I do visit him and phone him but dont actually DO anything for him. I have no right to feel like this and now everything has piled on top of me and I cant deal with it today., I have 30 mins to pull myself together before I go get the kids. DH wont be in till 6ish (he doesnt normally work a friday) so I will have to have that guilt in the background till he gets home.

He is not a hug man LOL. He used to be but not now.