My mum was really ill in the night, had to get an ambulance, now she wont tell me much about what has been said!

[ElizabethWakefield]

Which is obviously concerning me a bit.

For background she has been unwell on and off since mid November, nothing overly serious, colds and a couple of bouts of diarrhea and vomiting, and just been generally run down.

For the past 3 weeks maybe she has had quite a lot of diarrhea, but has suffered from irritable bowel in the past and has had quite a lot of work stress recently so she put it down to that.

Last night she called me at 3.45am and sounded really awful, said she had loads of D&V and had really bad pains in her chest, side and back and her breathing was bad, so I got DD up and went round (luckily she lives locally)

When I arrived I wanted to call an ambulance as she looked awful and her breathing was bad, but she insisted I call NHS direct instead as her breathing was bad due to the pain, so after chatting to a nurse for about 30 mins, they said they would send a Dr round (have never heard of them doing this before)

However, about half an hour later she got much worse, no Dr had arrived, so I called back and they sent an ambulance, so off to hospital we went.

At about 6.30 a nurse came to tell me that they thought it was my mum's gall bladder and that she would be being kept in and I should just go home with DD, which I did.

About half an hour ago my mum phoned to say she was home (despite me saying I would go and get her ) anyway she is saying it is not her gall bladder just "something gastric" and that's all she will say.

She has been on a drip, had blood taken, x-rays and various other things. She has to hand a stool sample into her GP too.

I have the feeling she is now keeping something from me, but obviously I don't know for sure (it could be tiredness making me paranoid ) but if it was serious I am presuming they wouldn't have sent her home? Would they?

If anyone has any suggestions as to what kind of "gastric thing" would cause severe pains in the right hand side down the ribs and into the back, it would be good to hear.

Sorry this is so long

hopeful bump

Sorry I don't know, but I didn't want to leave your post unanswered. I think you're right to be concerned that she's keeping something from you - but obviously if she wants to for whatever reason then that's up to her. I think you just have to keep being supportive and hopefully when she's ready she'll tell you a bit more. I suspect she is scared that it's something serious and either doesn't want to admit it to herself or doesn't want to worry you. Do you have someone (DH?) who can support you, it sounds like a really worrying time for you.

i would hate to worry you

but this happened to my mum. d and v....history with bowel probs. she kept alot to hersrlf,but collapsed at home with it,admitted and she never came home.

it was advanced bowel cancer,had ruptured...and also last stage ovarian cancer. she died witin 4 months of going in.

i was angry...she could have told us something....(this has got to be worst scenario...mum was only 60.....)

I wouldn't think they would have sent her home either if they thought it was more. However keep on at the GP if it keeps coming back. Good she had lots of tests doen as well as that can eliminate lots of things.

Is it possible she discharged herself?

I think you're right and she's keeping something from you - possibly because it's something she doesn't want to know about herself. I think you need to talk to her again, say how worried you are and ask to come and see the GP with her. However if she doesn't want to know about whatever it is then ultimately you have to respect that because she is entitled to her privacy and you can't force her confidence especially if it may mean her acknowledging something she doesn't want to. I suspect she thinks she has cancer - and that may be the case or it may be many other things. It's very hard on you - really feel for you.

She's probably not keeping anything from you, it sounds like she doesn't know herself. Would they send her to her dr to give a stool sample if they thought it was serious, surely they would keep her in and do it there? Pain in your back and chest can certainly be stomach problems, I get excess acid etc and feel it in these areas. Some people think they're having a heart attack and find out it was just really bad indigestion, so I wouldn't worry just yet.

Thanks all for your replies. Really sorry to hear about your mum, threeblondeboys

To be honest, bowel cancer is something that has crossed my mind and concerned me. Although she said (to the NHS person) she has never had any blood, and hasn't lost any weight (despite trying to ) so I am hoping that is a positive sign, but not sure if I am just clutching at straws.

I don't have a DH, but I have a DP (doesn't live with me, not DD's dad) but he is a good support, although he was at a night out last night and I couldn't get a hold of him to have DD there and then, but apart from that he is generally really good.

I have spoken to her briefly since my first post and she said she had x-rays and was told that everything seemed fine, heart, liver, gall bladder etc, but they thought her bowel seemed inflamed.

She has to hand in a stool sample to her GP on Monday, and await the results of blood tests etc. They are also going to arrange for her to have an appointment with a gastroentorologist (not sure if that is the correct spelling?!) which will come through in due course, so this is making me thing if the hospital thought it was bad, she might have seen someone more urgently?! Who knows.

They did say she was very dehydrated and put her on a drip and told her to drink loads today.

I am totally going to hound her to keep seeing people until she gets to the bottom of this as I have been trying to make her go to the Dr since early Jan!

Thanks again for replies, really appreciate it.

Crossed posts, but I don't think she discharged herself, I know she really doesn't like hospitals, but I don't think she would.

It could well be that she just doesn't know that much herself.

But she is so stubborn and saying she will be back at work on Monday, she really doesn't know how to rest.

She is 53 btw, if that makes any difference.

are you sure she's keeping something from you or just tired/drugged and confused herself? I know the only time I've ever been in hospital as an emergency I was convinced I had something else - all the talk and discussions had passed me by!

sorry x post
Does she have any OP follow up appointments that you could attend too?

Elizabeth I'm sorry you've been so worried and you must be really tired too after all that.

My mother has recently been investigated for gallbladder issues etc as she's had bouts of severe pain, together with feeling sick and so on - they weren't sure at first if it was maybe an ulcer instead, so have been hedging their bets for a while, doing tests and so on...anyway she's going in to have gallbladder out on Monday.

I know there is a huge crossover between liver, gallbladder and stomach symptoms so don't panic just yet - they probably don't know what it is, tbh, and she might just be worried herself.

There's no way they could have diagnosed cancer within the last few hours...for a start if it had been diagnosable that easily then it would have been really advanced and she'd have had to stay in, so I really think you mustn't jump to conclusions.

Perhaps it is something like diverticulitis, or another bowel disorder - much more common than cancer, and still rather embarrassing for her to admit to.

Hope you can have a proper chat soon and find out what's happening. It's very frustrating being there for someone who is obviously poorly, and then not knowing what's wrong with them - I think it's important you know so you can be prepared for anything she might need help with, if further attacks are likely etc.

Agree with flightattendant, anything major would take a while to be diagnosed. In some hospitals certain tests aren't even done 'out of hours' so you may have to wait until Monday for some blood results anyway.

Thanks for your posts. Sorry to hear your mum has been ill too, flight, I hope she feels much better after her op.

Reading all your posts, and with hindsight (and not feeling quite as tired) I am perhaps thinking that maybe she was just drugged, tired and confused herself rather than keeping something from me.

I said I would give her a call around 4 (to give her a chance to hopefully sleep) and maybe she will be able to chat more then.

The only follow up appointment she mentioned was the one with a gastroenterologist, but there was no indication as to when that would be, whether it would be days/weeks/whatever..

I guess until then, or when the blood tests results start to come back then there wont be much else really I/we can do.

Quick update - Have now spoken to my mum properly.

It turns out that all the results of all the bloods she had done came back before she was discharged and they were all fine, so that is a good sign, isn't it?

They gave her the option of being admitted to a ward and having her bowel looked at there and then, or of going home and taking a sample to her GP and getting an appointment for the gastroenterologist.

She said she would rather go home, and he said that was probably the best idea, said as she was quite obviously run down she could be at risk of catching other things if she stayed in, i think he mentioned there were loads of cases of Norovirus.

So perhaps not quite as bad as I first feared, hopefully! Fingers crossed.

oh good! Hoping all goes well at GP

Thanks

Well, it does sound as if she doesn´t know for sure herself.

But she is an adult & entitled not to tell you every detail if she doesn´t want to.

It sounds like gallstone/gallbladder disease pain to me. I have had one for over 20 years and it can cause all the symptoms you describe here. Especially on the right, under the ribcage and over to the back and bewteen the shoulder blades sometimes.

What happens is that the gallstone sometimes blocks the bile duct and that's what causes the pain.
Don't have time to go into detail atm but if you look up gallstones on the web you will find all the info you need.
Hope you find some answers soon.

I would urge her to push for investigations to be honest. My mum had similar symptoms last year - she was diagnosed with divaticulitis and gall bladder problems. 9 months on she went in for the gall bladder op - and they discovered ovarian cancer. She is responding well to treatment - so it seems she was lucky to have it found then. It is annoying though that it took 9 months before she got to that stage.

It may well be something that is relatively easily sorted out - but really sounds like something that can't be ignored. Please try and encourage her to push the gp to get investigations under way.