Trying to get more responses - Premature Menopause!

[weegiemum]

I've posted in Menopause topics but noone else does I think!

2 weeks ago I got a definite diagnosis of premature menopause - almost complete! Have had no periods for about 6 months, hot flushes have tailed off (after 5 years of me saying "is it hot in here or is it just me?") etc.

I'm 39.

Wondered if anyone else has had this? I'm feeling very old and a bit down about it all - I didn't want another baby (dh had a vasectomy 6 years ago) but now that I can't I am struggling. My hormone levels are those of a 53 year old!

Due to another medical condition I have I can't have HRT (causes kidney stones for me) so I am now on a low fat but high calcium diet and have to lose a lot of weight.

Feeling like a wrinkled old dried up crone!

Tell me I'm not. Dh says not - he thinks I'm gorgeous, but in reality I am an overweight old lady!

Not something I've experienced yet, but it is coming to me. I am 32 and all of the women on my Mums side of the family have gone through menopause between 37 and 39.

My sympathy is with you, it must be really hard. I know it is coming and it scares me how I will feel.

I hope someone comes along soon with some actual advice.

I don't know if I want advice or just a pat on the head and a (very) early glass of wine!

Must be hard to know it is coming - I didn't (not happened to any women in my family before as far as I know) and we have no idea why for me (other than there is nothing obvious causing it).

Ah well. I think I got enough uses form the mooncup to make it viable!

totally shamelessly, rather sadly bumping

Ooh, weegiemum, I'm sure it's a genuinely traumatic experience. We all know it's going to come to us, but you must be saddened that it has come upon you so unexpectedly before you were emotionally ready. I suggest lots of pampering and facials, plus a nice bit of retail therapy. And some very good quality moisturiser.

If it's any consolation, I'm deeply envious and would love to be in your position. I'm also 39 and have endometriosis, but my gynecologist refuses to consider a total hysterectomy because I'm 'too young'. It seems neither you nor me are getting what we really want - sodding contrary bodies.

Definately definately not a dried up old crone. You have done the hard bit got those dreadful periods out of the way dealt with the hot flushes now it is your time to be able to live your life as you want without the hassle of theose monthly hormones.
I've not experienced this but trying to look at the positives. I will still have spots every month and hormone headaches and cramping pain. You will soon be running around not having to think about mooncups headaches etc. Your health will settle down and you will be free of those horrendous monthly pains and tribulations.

I am not trying to make light of this but just wonder if looking at it from another slant may help. You are not old but a youthful 39 year old who does not have the unwanted hassle of ovulating. People pay good money to be in that situation. You can not be n overwieght old lady at 39! You can be a bit overweight but you can work at that gradually.

If DH says you are gorgeous girl believe it

You can sort the weight out

One of the most beautiful girls in my class (the one all the boys at the boys' school fancied) had to have a full hysterectomy/ovaries removed in her late twenties. Fortunately she had already had children. She told me she was on HRT for about five years then had to stop for various reasons. So I met her a couple of years ago (we are now in our forties) and - she's still amazing looking. I keep reading that menopause means that you turn overnight into a shrivelled prune but I suspect that quite a lot of it is the fact that, for most women, its being 50+ that makes you that way.

You did get some responses on the Meno forum- but agree, not many.

I don't know where you have heard that kidney stones are a CI to HRT. My gymae has written a book on the menopause and he says ( just checked for you) that some kidney diseases canbe affected by HRT but to check with your dr. This is listed as another thing to check, not a RED alert or AMBER alert for def. no HRT.

You might be able to have HRT as a patch or gel as it then by-passes the liver and presumably the kidneys too.

Have you seen a specialist gynae about this?
Can you go privately and to London/South West as you could have the name of mine?

I had early menopause at 42. Like you, I did not realise I was going throuh it as I thought I was too young. I was also diagnosed diabetic at the same time, so the night sweats could have been caused by both meno and diabetes.

I found a really good forum called menopause matters (just google, I am useless at cut and paste, sorry).

If you feel dry down below, you can always ask your doc for vagifem. Also, you can get sylk (lubricant).

There are NHS menopause clinics around. Maybe ask your GP for a referral.

Hope this helps.

Oh thanks

Purplepeony - I have now seen (as a matter of urgency) both my gynae and the urologists and they are agreed there is no way I am allowed HRT - sadly! I am getting pessaries for "down there" but to be honest my libido has vanished - I think I need to make a bit of an effort for poor patient dh!

thanks ladies. I feel so old. But I can see the positives - chucking the mooncup!!!! (well not quite yet!

i really am an old lady 59 but am not dry down there also look much younger (my french neighbour told me this so am not being egocentric!!) and had the normal menopause i still have very vague hot flushes but never had the sweats etc. I did it totally without hrt or anything from the docs.
i followed the blood type eating plan i take camomile in capsule form. you can take black cohosh, sage and or Dong quoi which is esp. effective.Just see what suits you.
the Earth Clinic on here will also help. good luck.

If you want something herbal, my gynae recommends Menopause formula from Victoria Health- google them.