Dh has sleep apnea but the doctor has said he doesn't have to wear the CPAP mask. Is he being unreasonable?

[ParCark1]

sorry have namechanged as I know dh reads on here and want people's views without him reading

dh has sleep apnea and recently went to the GP to discuss treatment options. I fully expected him to come back with the CPAP mask.

To give you some background, this doctor (male one) told my friend with PND that it was all made up and she didn't need counselling . Needless to say, the receptionists don't send women to see him now.

Dh has been telling me over the last couple of weeks how he doesn't want that mask. I have said I didn't think it would be an option and he should just get on with it.

The doctor said to him (before dh had said anything) 'who would wear a mask like that, isn't it ridiculous, of course I don't expect you to wear that' and dh, of course, was delighted and agreed with him. He told dh he should lose weight as that might help but basically waved him off with a clean bill of health.

I have got v pissed off with him - I know it is his health but it impacts me enormously. Not only is it frightening when he stops breathing but his snoring is unbelievably loud and it's been disturbing my sleep for years. I know the CPAP machine would be loud but at least it's consistently loud rather than sudden loud snores which are what wakes me up.

So was the doctor being unreasonable?

Yes. Very. sleep apnoea can be very dangerous. Your husband should be referred to a sleep clinic. They are the ones who should assess whether a cpap is required.

I've got a bipap because I have respiratory depression (that's not unhappy lungs it's where you don't breathe enough)

I had to go to sleep clinic for full assessment and tests and had a week in hospital where they took blood every morning! I left with a bipap. I have annual reviews where I wear a thing on my finger that measures my sats overnight, they can then adjust the bipap if needed.

What I am saying is that gp is not doing the right thing. This is a specialist area and it's not for the gp to decide.

thanks heQet.

My problem now is that dh is delighted as he has the official word from a 'doctor'.

He thinks I'm fussing and making up how bad he is (ffs) and I am just a light sleeper so it's my problem.

I am quite happy to pay for him to go to a sleep clinic (if the gp won't refer him) to have a full sleep test done but tbh, I was sure the Gp would refer him because it is so obviously sleep apnea.

you should video or tape record him when he is asleep t prove it to him. obviously dont tell him you intend to do it.

I use a CPap machine. The noise it makes (low hum)is heaps better than snoring. And we both sleep well now.

I was in an established relationship when I got it so we coped with the weirdness of me wearing the mask every night (elephant woman...). It does take a bit of time to get used to -I can see that your DH might be scared/embarrassed about using it. But no excuse for the doc to take such a ridiculous stance. It is a serious condition so he must go to see another doctor and have a proper sleep study.

There is an online test that he can fill in -perhaps that will persuade him to see another doctor?

I'm surprised it was your GP who decided on treatment - when DH was diagnosed, it was via the sleep clinic at hospital who gave him the mask. Sleep apnoea is very dangerous and definitely needs proper management. It sounds as if your DH is doing the whole head in the sand thing that men tend to do with their health, but I'd definitely put pressure on him to get a referral to a sleep clinic - and change his GP!

If your DH has sleep apnoea (which a GP can't diagnose, it needs a full overnight sleep study), then he is putting his life at risk by not getting treated.

Dh has OSA, and the consultant who diagnosed him said that untreated, it would have killed him by 50 . Untreated OSA causes strokes, heart attacks, may be implicated in diabetes related blindness, and causes car crashes. DH saw some research recently showing that someone with untreated OSA drives worse than if they were over the drink drive limit.

The CPAP that DH has is very quiet - really not any louder than the sound of our central heating - and there are new ones coming out all the time which are quieter. He has a nasal pillow mask, so it doesn't cover any of his face

What's a nasal pillow mask? DH wears something that looks like a jet fighters face mask - is it something different?

this is his favoured one - he got a couple of new ones at the SATA annual meeting, which was great as you could get fittings from a number of companies. He buys his own masks, rather than getting the NHS ones as he prefers the choice

Thanks for the link - will show it to DH. What's SATA btw?

If he had been diagnosed with SA then your DH with have to notify the DVLA (if he drives of course) and IIRC, they will not reissue the licence until he is being treated and got the SA under control.

Perhaps that will change his mind?

Sleep Apnoea Trust

Driving - and if you are on CPAP and not compliant with it (they download the data from your CPAP machine to check that you are using it correctly), they can revoke your license.

At DH's clinics they diagnose you, and put you on CPAP straight away so that you don't have to lose your license temporarily

My DH wears a CPAP mask but only because of his snoring, not because of his apnoea. He went to a sleep clinic and had the full barrage of tests done (including spending the night being monitored) and the diagnosis was that, alhough he has apnoea, he gets sufficient oxygen when he sleeps, so that he doesn't need to worry about a stroke, heart disease etc. This was confirmed by a second doctor, who saw the readings on his CPAP mask.

In the case of your DH I would definitely get a second opinion though, I'm not sure a chat with a GP qualifies as a proper diagnosis.