About to have a nervous breakdown?

[chickenwings]

Feeling overwhelmed with everything...

1. Moved out of London to an area where I don't know anyone (but close to DH's family)
2. Doing a full time Teacher Training Course (at rough inner city school) in London so now commuting 2 hours a day. Get up at 5.45am, leave at 6.10am, home by 5.30pm, eldest in bed by 8.30pm - a long day! The kids at the school have many issues and constantly shout, fight and swear so quite tiring (although I like the teaching).
3. My older two kids are at different schools and the younger one is still going through terrible twos
4. DH has started new job. He does a lot of "marketing" (ie drinking - he has a bit of a problem) so don't see him much. He also doesn't understand why I feel under pressure.
5. DH won't control spending, has large overdraft, no pension, no savings and no investments. I am always having to penny pinch to try to make up for this.

Feel isolated, fed up and don't know what to do. Thinking of stopping my course. Also thinking of leaving dh.

My family are advising me to finish my training but I'm not sure I can do another 6 months like this. I am all over the place

Sorry you are going through such a hard time-so many pressures. When I felt my life was very complicated I saw a life coach for a while and that really helped me sort out my priorities and I made some big changes (and kept DH). You could also start by flagging up to course tutor that things are tough so you can get support on your teaching practice and any related assessments.Possibly take some time out of the course rather than leaving altogether?

When things are overwhelming I find it helps to split the problems into those that I can do something about.... and those that I can't. Your husband sounds like he's responsible for 90% of the stress, doesn't add anything positive to your life, doesn't solve any of your problems and I would sort that one out before it goes any further. Rather than you 'leaving', I'd tell him to. If you're near his family, he'd have somewhere to go, no problem. Even if it isn't permanent, it would give him a nasty fright and you'd get some breathing room.

Finances you seem to be able to manage already so you sound quite resourceful there. Six months doesn't seem all that long to stick it out with the course... because the training is very important if you're to embark on a solo career in the future and be self-reliant. Long-term you may be able to get a job nearer home or move to accommodation nearer your job. Anything's possible.

Good luck

Thanks for the support.

I do think I need to work out my priorities. I am in such a muddle and so exhausted I don't know which way is up!

I did speak to a couple of tutors about the course and they advised me to stick it out. They said if I quit now I will never be able to teach anywhere again and they were not keen for me to defer the rest of the course for a year.

I wish I had some time to make some friends near where I live. Unfortunately this won't happen until I finish the course. I suppose I need to decide which is more important - short term sanity or long term goals.

If you're finding it tough to prioritise and work out what it is that you want, sometimes it helps to jot down what you don't want... and start from there.