Contraception: where do we go from here?

[CheeeseOnToast]

I hope someone can help me...

I stopped taking the pill two months ago, and in that time I've been following Toni Weschler's Taking Control of Your Fertility - ie the 'natural' method, taking my temperature daily, plotting it to see ovulation and monitoring cervical mucas.

I've really, really enjoyed not taking the combined pill (which I was on for almost 10 years before stopping), as I got progressively worse side effects from it (mainly big mood swings, turning into a raging monster etc, nothing more physiological) and I just really wanted to have my own hormones again. I was on Microgynon 30 for most of that time, but changed to Celeste in the three months before stopping.

Also DP and I will hopefully be TTC in the next few years and I wanted to check I was still having my own cycle (paranoid about fertility probs).

This has been good so far, and I've had two normal periods since stopping the pill (the first was exactly four weeks since the last pill, and next cycle was 29 days so I'm happy with this).

Because I wanted to get into the right routine with it all, and until I felt I could trust it, DP and I have been using condoms just in case. I was hoping that after three months charting we could only use condoms on my potentially fertile days.

I realised at the weekend that we haven't had sex for three weeks. Usually we do it maybe twice a week, and I had been trying to initiate sex but he didnt seem interested/was tired/had an early start blah blah blah. So at the weekend I asked him about it, and he said that he just wasnt in the mood because he doesn't like using condoms and he's scared of getting me pregnant

Turns out that some circumstances have changed which mean we may not be able to TTC for about four years (money/work things)

But anyway, where do we go from here? I dont want to carry on using the natural method if it means he's reluctant to have sex. He doesnt think he can trust only using condoms on fertile days (although he was ok with this idea before, when a baby wouldnt have been a 'disaster') but now he wants to be more careful as it would be really really bad timing. I really dont want to go back on the pill, and if he doesnt want to use condoms (I admit I would rather not use them too, but its the lesser of two evils for me) then what other choices do we have?

I'm keen to avoid hormones so wondered about the copper coil, but I read somewhere that it's really painful to have inserted if you've not had children (we've got no DCs). Is this true? Also the idea of a foreign body in my cervix makes me shudder.

Are there any other hormone-free methods? Or should I just tell DP to man up and get used to condoms?!

Or, failing that, would a progestone only pill be better? Or even implant/injection - even though I'd be scared that after having it, if i turn into a spotty monster I can't just stop taking it and it be gone quickly.

Are there any other things I havent thought about?

If it makes any odds, I'm 27.

I had a coil fitted a few weeks ago and like you don't have any children. Having it put in felt like one gigantic period cramp as the doctor sounded me and another as she inserted the coil. I was fine to walk home immediately but when I got there my cramps were so intense I thought I was going to vomit but this settled almost immediately and I had strong period type cramps for the rest of the day. The pain wouldn't put me off having another one but I wouldn't be in a hurry to have it done again. Now other than the odd twinge I wouldn't know that it's in there.

I think that yes, if he doesn't want to have a child then he either needs to use condoms all the time (since this is what he's comfortable with) or you need to have a coil or think about a diaphragm (not sure if you can still get these or how effective they are though).

thanks lottiebunny. You've reassured me that I could probably cope with a coil then... do you get heavier periods with it, if you dont mind me asking? I like the idea of 'no hormone' approach.

Hadn't thought about diaphragm either, although the idea doesnt appeal much really. Worth considering though i think.

thanks

I haven't had a period yet but it is likely that they will be heavier than before and stay that way for at least 6 months. It doesn't worry me as much as it would some people though.

ok, thanks LB.

Anyone else have any ideas I havent considered?

Also, do family planning clinics see people of all ages or just teens? There's one down the road and from previous experience I think that FPC workers tend to know more about contraception than GPs. I could pop by tomorrow...

Copper coil sounds the best option. FPC will see anyone or if you have a GP who is coil-trained, they may be happy to oblige.

Most copper coils are quite slim and easy to fit, even in women who have never had a baby. Having it fitted shouldn't be painful, more like a bad period cramp. Most last for 5yrs, some 10yrs.

Interesting question about whether FPCs see people of all ages - there was a woman from (I think) Family Planning Association on the Today prog a couple of days ago, talking about the need for the over 40s to use contraception (despite the Daily Mail telling us every other week that we are totally infertile) and have access to services. Rather sneery presenter (Mr H?) saying, but surely these women should know this etc. But in fact I recall seeing plenty of threads on here about women calling FPCs and being told that its 'teen night' only for the next two weeks.

Hmm, thats interesting belissima. I'll give them a call and report back what they say and whether they can see me or not.

(it's only a ten min walk but it's bloody freezing here and I'm lazy!!)