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My auntie has about 14 months to live if she's lucky......

8 replies

JollyPirate · 28/01/2010 19:04

It's taken me 24 hours to write this down as I am still in shock.
My auntie is an energetic lady of 72 who still works part time as a district nurse.
She has always been in really good health but went to her GP recently about headaches. They had been waking her in the mornings for a few weeks and she wanted some advice.
Her GP was concerned about them waking her up and did some neuro tests on her which were mostly fine. However, he wasn't happy and suspecting a bleed in the brain sent her to the hospital. They did a scan there which showed a mass in the frontal lobe of her brain.

The "mass" which has turned out to be a tumour has now been removed and they "got most of it" but she will need radiotherapy and chemotherapy. The consultant has now told my cousins that the cancer is an aggressive one which will recur - he has actually left space for it to re-grow. He has told my aunt that he can't prevent it recurring and that it will eventually kill her. The treatment is to try and slow the rate at which it will re-occur and buy her some time. He has told my cousin though that the average length of time from diagnosis to death (even with treatment) is 14 months.

I cannot believe that my beloved auntie will die so soon. I know I have time to say my goodbyes etc but it all seems so unfair. She still has so much to give to society and life.

Even worse is that my other auntie who is 74 has been battling cancer for the past 3 years. Hers is more slow growing though and she is living with it (although it cannot be cured). My Mum is in bits as these are her two remaining siblings - my Uncle died from lung cancer aged 65 (but had chain smoked 60 fags a day from age 15 which might well explain the lung cancer).

It's crap - I mean just what is the fucking point of life? My auntie has aleways looked after her health, never smoked, always eaten healthily and maintained a healthy weight. All this healthy eating and exercise cobblers has not helped her one jot because at 72 and with lots still to offer she is dying. I know cancers are less likely if you live as healthily as she has but honestly it's made not a sod of difference to her.

The older I get the more I am convinced that life is mapped out for you so just go and live the life you want - eat, drink and be merry because if you are meant to die from cancer then you will.

Am so sad and fed up about it. Haven't had any wine since Xmas but have drunk two glasses this evening and am feeling them.

OP posts:
nickschick · 28/01/2010 19:10

Theres nothing I can say to make you feel better.

Its fuckin shit.

Im sorry for you,been there myself.

belgo · 28/01/2010 19:10

How sad, life is very unfair. Your auntie sounds lovely.

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 28/01/2010 19:12

I am so sorry.

I discovered my nana's breast cancer in 1998 and she was lucky to have the breast removed with no problems. In 2005 cancer came back, went right through her and she was given 3-12 months. She lasted 2 1/2 but she had had enough.

Your Aunt sounds a lovely, amazing woman who wants to live and I hope that stands her in good stead.

Look after yourself and ease off a little bit on the wine so you don't feel too crap tmw.

LadyBlaBlah · 28/01/2010 19:13

Cancer truly is a bastard

So sorry your family has been so affected by it so dramatically

Enjoy your wine tonight

JollyPirate · 28/01/2010 19:18

Thank you . Just feeling a bit maudlin this evening. Bottle is finished now (I hasten to add that I didn't open it this evening).

Am seeing my Mum tomorrow and will be giving her a big hug.

Thank God for MN as it's all I feel like doing at present. Am off to try and get DS in to bed.

Thank you all for your kind thoughts.

OP posts:
Janestillhere · 28/01/2010 19:19

Well, you must truly be in terrible shock at this awful news.

I feel for you and your family.

I feel I must say you are lucky in the sense that you have time to say a long goodbye.
You have time to say what you always wanted to say.

You may feel I am inappropriate in saying that, but believe me when I say, that when you love and lose a loved one quickly as many of us have, it is very cruel indeed, and I almost envy you you have this time to do what you need to do.

I have lost my brother, he was only 22 when he went, and it took just a few days.

I wish you love and courage.

x

KurriKurri · 28/01/2010 19:21

When I was diagnosed with cancer, my wonderful mum wrote to me and said 'life is such a bitch and a bugger sometimes' - so true.

Its no ones fault when these things happen, awful things happen to lovely people. But its really normal to feel a huge cocktail of emotions - anger being one of them.

MacMillan cancer support offer helplines for friends and family of people with cancer if you wanted to talk with someone about your feelings.

So sorry for you and your family having to go through this

mazzystartled · 28/01/2010 19:33

I'm so sorry.

I know 72 is not old any more, but its sounds as if she is well loved and has had a life well-lived (something for us all to aim for). Be angry, be sad, but please, please try to make the best of the time that you do have with her.

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