Please help me I feel that my insides are coming out

[needaloofast]

Hi

I have posted before following problems after a forceps delivery last year - I have fecal urge incontinence.

A couple of days ago I had slight rectal aching, and a few stabbing pains (no reason for it as bm are fine and no need to strain) which lasted a couple of days but only intermittently.

It eased off quite quickly but then I became aware of a strange feeling that something has fallen forward - it feels all the time that my whole pelvic area has prolapsed.

My rectum feels wierd like it's about to fall out and it feels as though something is inside / pressing on my vagina.

I have finally made a GP appointment for this evening but have been crying all day and unable to eat or sleep as I think this is going to be quite serious.

I am so worried about the physical exams and tests and am really worried about things like surgery or whether I will be able to have another child (or sex ever again)

I know I'm jumping the gun a little [weak smile] but I just feel devastated atm.

Please can you just hold my hand and tell me if this is going to be ok, and if you have been through this too?

it sounds like a rectal prolapse maybe?
The falling out bit I mean
I am not medical but have heard of people having this before. It can be corrected though

Hope the doctor is helpful and refers you quickly to someone who can help

hi needaloo

hope your GP appointment has gone well - and hope you feel better soon.

Thank you Countess and Jetcat. I saw the doctor and she thinks it is some kind of prolapse although she couldn't see anything obvious.

I have been referred to a surgeon specialising in colorectal and gynae so hopefully this can be sorted. It sounds like a very long process though as it will involve a lot of tests, and it may be some weeks before I can get an initial consultation.

I feel a little better but obviously am in some constant discomfort, and the thought of spending months like this as well as lots of invasive tests doesn't really fill me with cheer atm and am finding it really hard coming to terms with this.

Plus, there is no way dh and I will be having sex until this is fixed and healed because of the vag symptoms - (mind you that is the last thing that I would want to do right now!) and that will probably be the best part of a year away. DH has permission to buy a 'special' mag now. Obviously our plans to ttc this year are well shelved.

On the positive side however, the GP did not think that this would rule out performing surgery even though we may try for another and ruin the surgeon's neat handiwork, although she recommended an elective cs, which is a relief as we were wondering if I would have to choose between having another child or getting repaired.

I feel sooo depressed though, I feel unsexy, ruined, shameful, dirty and incomplete
I'm not looking fw to weeks of post op pain, the painful treatments or the possibility that treatment may leave me incontinent or worse off.

Sorry to go on, it's just that life seems so bloody unfair at times. I have just got over the traumatic birth and got back from severe pnd and now this. Plus my maternity leave is ending shortly and I will need to go back to work.

Oh well worse things happen, it's just one of those things that you just have to live with, get through and carry on.

if you get alot of pain and aching of nerves in you bum area there is a cream called glyceryl trinitrate cream that help spasms of the bum

I am sad that you feel unsexy, ruined, shameful, dirty and incomplete. I once heard a very straight laced physio advise a woman that there are ways and means of showing affection to each other that don't include penetrative sex. Be creative and very best of luck.

Im sorry, and I hope you will forgive me, but this is meant in the best possible way. PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER WOMAN. Millions, myself included, suffer from prolapses, although not pleasant, its really not a major deal.

Theres absolutely no way for you to refrain from sex honestly

TMI, but i find my prolapse makes me feel 'tighter' either that or I have mega pelvic floor.

That's a shit thing to say to someone who is actually in pain and going through a tough time medically Loopy.

Prolapses are painful during sex-especially when they have just occured and you are scared of damaging yourself internally further.Mine was a constant pain-literally,both on the rectum and the bladder.

Just because you coped with your prolapse loopy ,doesnt mean the next person finds it easy to live with.

I hope you get a appointment with your surgeon asap OP.

i have given out alot of prescriptions to people with very painful rectal prolapses that press on rectal nerves...and it can be agonising for some....

Loopy I THINK the comment PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER is the last thing OP wanted to here.
Glad youare fine,but obviously OP is not and is suffering and worried and needs some help and reassurance.

glad you are getting things sorted needaloo, but you feel so awful - though i can understand. Lol at you giving your husband permission to buy a special mag, but i hope that doesnt make you feel worse - ie. comparing yourself to them.

Just keep thinking, how marvellous it will be when you are all sorted, and you are able to fully ravish your DH

(sorry if insensitive, as i havent actually been through this, but wanted to post anyway)

in loopy's defence, i think she was simply trying to make needaloo feel better - but guffed it up a bit. Shes trying to say, look, this is horrible but fixable.

I have similar problems down there and i should really go to the doctors but i can't be arsed (sorry). I did however see a physio regarding urine incontinence. You know the whole, sneeze wooops, cough woops, dont make me laugh scenario.

Pelvic floor exercises are your friend - the physio showed me a picture of where the pelvic floor lies and it does affect the back end too - so whenever i struggle i do my exercises and it does help.

Also, to make things easier when you do a poo - get something to put your legs up on, a couple of toilet rolls, i use my DDs toilet step - it makes everything in a more favourable position so less straining.

Puts sex therapist hat on: Remember, there are other things you can do sexually, that dont rely on penetration, for you and for him - that is, if you WANT to. Wank mags are no substitute for a bit of loving so make sure there are plenty of cuddles

Hi thank you for all your messages; I am feeling a lot better about things today: I sort of allowed myself one day to wallow in self pity and vent here, rather than in rl where I have reassured my family that it's no big deal and that everything will be fine.

But today just feels like a different day. I had a good nights sleep (from exhaustion!) and I spend the day out with my dc reminding myself why it was all worth it in the first place.

I'm not really in any pain, it is just discomfort, albeit constant. Nothing down there feels right or normal but it's not too bad.

Thanks poshwellies - the thought of sex feeling like this is really just a no no. And yes it does feel like sex could make something worse - eek.

I think the one thing that bugs me the most about the whole sex thing, not because I am gagging to jump my dh the whole time but last year we had a really rough time and because of a new baby and really, really bad pnd we only managed to get together twice iykwim. Things weren't bad between us but we were starting to move further apart, and we spoke about it in the new year and agreed that we needed to make more of an effort to find special 'date' time on a regular basis.

I found out today that although it is a priority, my first consultation with a specialist will be mid may because this specialist is very good with gynae as well and there is a long waiting list. The not knowing for sure what is wrong exactly is really tough as obviously nothing can be diagnosed until seen. So until then, I'm jus left knowing something is wrong, but not exactly what.

Re the sex, we can of course do other things jetcat, kreacher, and lucyellen but it's just working up to feeling sexy with this discomfort and getting out of the 'don't touch me' mentality. I think reminders of my sexuality atm just serve to remind me of what is wrong with me physically.

My dh is understanding and says he will wait until I feel ready whenever that will be. I will make an effort though for non-sexual touching, hugs and kisses, and maybe when I've had time to re-adjust move on to something more, after some wine etc.

Thanks alypaly it's not too painful, just the sensation that something's not in the right place iykwim.

lucyellens thanks too - I'm going to investigate a pelvic floor toner that tells you when you are doing it right (I think there is one in Boots although they are quite expensive)

Luckily (or maybe not) my problem is not so much getting it out but keeping it in, but I will make sure that I don't get bunged up as I have horror images of making it worse down there.

Anyway thanks for all your concern, and no loopylou I understand what you meant.

Thanks for all your messages! I am fine. Must go to bed though as my angelbaby littlesod is all smiles and chirpy as a bird at dawn

Hi needloo Im glad you're feeling a little better, and Im glad you understood what I meant, please dont think I was trying to be nasty, its just I suffer with anxiety and I know how much it can drag you down and IME sometimes you need a sharp word to pull yourself out of it IYKWIM

LEM hiiiiiiii how are you? and thanks for defending me

PW and ALYPALY yourselves, I wasnt being horrible at all and in my hamfisted way, I was trying to show support.

MID MAY is insane, I would not put up with that

I have always been an arsy customer in the NHS and it gets you A LONG WAY. I would be demanding an appointment in a week or two at most. Explain that you are terrified and depressed. Ring the consultant's secretary and ask whether there is the possibility of taking the place of a cancellation at short notice. Cry. Is there anyone you know who works at the hospital that might have contacts you could give you advice? I would not accept a five month wait. It's TOTALLY unacceptable. Are they even meeting their targets? You have surely been referred from a GP to a consultant - they must see you within 13 weeks surely? The tories are fecking running the country YET my friend.

Grrr

ANYWAY yes, you know, non-penetrative sex can be a very gentle and soothing sort of sex life, particularly if you both have the desire for it. He does not need to ram in there with his truncheon when you are feelng delicate. Plenty of ways to skin a cat.

There are plenty of ways of showing support,telling someone to pull themselves together is not one of them in my opinion.

I found this site really informative when I was in a bit of a state over my prolapse

Definetly go down the pelvic floor route-do all the exercises you can.I was referred for physiotherapy aswell and it did help some of the issues I had with bladder weakness.Keeping yourself regular with your bowel will help tremendously,I took linseed for that and it helped.

If you are feeling anxious,try to do some deep breathing relaxation along with your pelvic floor exercises and also Yoga is great for tightening and strengthening core muscles and also for relaxation.

Deep penetrative sex was a no no for me,as it just was far too painful but after I got my head around the prolapse,all the rest was acceptable and v enjoyable .I found putting a pillow under my hips helped,it tilted my pelvis and was far more comfy for me.It's a case of trying out different positions and seeing which one is the most enjoyable-have fun

Hope you are feeling a bit more optimistic-you will get it sorted and there is life after a prolapse!

Oh come on, its not like Ive come on the thread all huffy saying "Ffs pull yourself together" Even the OP knew what I meant.

If you 'know' me from round the boards, you will know that the last thing I am is nasty.

Anyway sorry OP for bringing nastys to your thread.

hey loopy, im good thanks, how are you doing?

Hey Im not too bad thnks. Controlling myself with Citalopram lol. Hows things with you? Not seen you for a while.

Thanks poshwellies, I've just had a look at the site and it is very helpful. It's good to know that other people like yourself have had a prolapse and recovered. If it's not too personal to ask, how long was your recovery and did it involve surgery?

Re the wait to see a specialist, I am frankly gobsmacked that it will take so long on the nhs. I have researched the consultant and found that they work also in a private hospital nearby. We do not have a lot of money, just enough to put food on the table and pay the bills until I get back to work, but much as I deplore the idea of a two tier health system I am seriously considering paying just to see the surgeon for a consultation only (any other work done would be waaay too expensive - I have enquired about prices!). I need know what is wrong and what treatment may involve so I can get my life back on track.

Your suggestion morningpaper is also a good one and I will call the secretary Monday and see if there is a cancellation waitlist I can go on. And I prob will cry too!

Things are more positive now; I am trying to get on with things, but every now and then it still feels depressing. My dh is trying his best to understand and is very much of the tough love school and does not think it a big deal (but I am sure if something was threatening his love truncheon it would be a huuge deal for him).

Re the sex thing, it's too soon at the moment to bring it on but if I can see a specialist soon and get diagnosed it may put my mind at rest that sex won't make things worse, and maybe we can build up to it. V, v gently.

Have to go - milktime again!

Thanx so much for your messages of support