shattered
Ahh, the old "focus and drink in moderation" eh. That's his innate denial of his alcoholism talking again. He is so mired in denial and you continue to be wrapped up in his alcoholism problem by enabling him. It is not your problem to carry for him, you cannot fix this for him. He has to want to help his own self.
You cannot and should not enable him any more. All enabling does is give you a flase sense of control and certainly does not help him.
There are no guarantees here; he could lose everything and he'd still drink.
He is not however capable of having a social drink and will never be able to do this: that ability is not there within him.
He's doing the usual thing of blaming the other person i.e you for all their ills. Again you are not responsible for him or his alcoholism, you did not cause it.
He won't change, he will always try and worm his way around you because he knows what buttons to push. You need to be strong for your own self and seek real life support. Al-anon are good as they can help family members of problem drinkers, you need to talk to them.
Also read "Co-dependent no more" written by Melody Davies.
All you have done to date is enable him and by turn you have become co-dependent. At least now he has moved out, he should stay away as well.
You are ultimately NOT responsible for him; only your own self and that of your children. Do not let them get dragged down by his alcoholism like you have to date. If you get dragged down then your children get dragged down as well. They do not need their Dad's alcoholism as part of their daily lives, it will harm them emotionally.
I am therefore glad he is no longer in the family home.
You need to remember the 3cs when it comes to alcoholism:-
You did not cause this
You cannot control this
You cannot cure it