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Not quite sure why I'm posting, don't need info, maybe some hand holding though?

7 replies

TwilightTurtle · 11/01/2010 13:22

My mum was taken into hospital on Friday - she's been jaundiced and ill since before Christmas, and has just had an MRI to try and work out what the problem is.

Turns out she's got a lump on her bile duct, almost certainly cancer. It's small, but apparently where it is means it's tricky to remove.

They're assessing her for surgery at the moment - it might not be possible to remove it surgically, in which case she's looking at chemo.

They're going to do some keyhole surgery to bypass the affected duct to make her feel better, which will help, but won't solve the problem of the cancer.

Have been looking at the Macmillan site and it looks like what she's got is fairly rare and they don't know how effective chemo is for this type of cancer.

I have four brothers and sisters but am the only one who lives in the same town as my mum, so have been doing visiting and getting things from her house all that, but am feeling stretched thin with trying to keep it all together, look after DS1 and DS2, and liaise with the family.

So don't know what anyone can say to help, but thought it might help to write it down somewhere.

OP posts:
kreecherlivesupstairs · 11/01/2010 13:25

No experience of this, but hand holding available if necessary. I'd contact the Mac nurses ASAP and ask their advice. Good wishes to you and your Mum.

TwilightTurtle · 11/01/2010 13:35

Thanks kreecher - I think I've been denying that it's as serious as it is, so haven't been keen on contacting people who deal with this sort of thing. Sounds like maybe I should.

OP posts:
flibertygibet · 11/01/2010 20:44

Hi Twilight..no words of advice but just wanted you to know I know how you feel. My sister was diagnosed with bladder cancer last week. It's a bad one too..very aggressive. I'm terrified and a little in shock.

The Macmillan site is brilliant.

Hang in there and try to keep positive - at least for her sake.

TwilightTurtle · 11/01/2010 20:48

Thank you flibertygibet - and I'm sorry to hear about your sister. It's a really tough one to get to grips with, isn't it? I guess you never think of it as happening to you or anyone you love.

Sending lots of strength and good thoughts to you and your sister.

OP posts:
MavisEnderby · 11/01/2010 20:53

I'm very sorry your mum is poorly

As others have said Macmillan site is good.Another we reccommend to patients at work is the "Cancerbackup" website they also have a freephone helpline that is open 8-8 for advice and so on.

Other good sources of support and information will be the cancer specialist nurses at the hospital,and you can usually make an appointment with your mums oncologist if you ring their secretary if you need further advice.

Best wishes to your mumXX

flibertygibet · 11/01/2010 20:57

I would also suggest that you ask your brothers and sisters to come and help to give you some respite. You can't do it all on your own and look after your own family all the time.

positive thoughts for your mum and thanks for yours. Up until last week I was very smug that I had a cancer-free family. I guess one thing I've learned is that virtually everyone has been touched by this dreaded disease.

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 11/01/2010 20:57

My advice is dont rush, do what you can do, and take what info you want right now. It may not hit home for a week or 2, but keep going for now.
One piece of advice i was given and believe is "make decisions with the info you have at the time", this why you cant blame yourself or do "what ifs" later.
Take care of yourself and your mum, ask people to do little jobs if they offer help, eg food, washing, feeding cats ect.
Dont answer calls if you dont want to talk.

And yes rely on those wonderful macmillian nurses, they are great and dont worry about lending on them too much, you will need them alot to start with and it will ease off.

If your mum has to have anysort of tube down her thoart, buy some halls soothers, they are wonderful

HTH

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