gynea was very dismissive of my problem - wa I treated fairly?

[BarbaraX]

i wanted to get the cause my pain during intercourse investigated ( i waited a few years to panic about it) I feared cancer or some terrible desease as it got worse after having a child 2 years ago. basically, the nurse examined me and although i had not had sex for a year after separting from husband, it still hurt quite a lot in the same way when she was prodding the cervix. sorry too graphic? she could not see anything wrong and the test for infections are negative. my smear 1 and half year ago are also ok. today the doctor at the sex clinic said that because the nurse (he did not examine me)could not see any anormality and the test were negative, this was the end of the road and to come back once i find a sex partner. they understand that my pain is real but because i am not having sex, so thee is no point in investigating further. basically all his questions were all giving away that he thought it is a psycosomatic problem.
i was appauled by this attitute. I know I would feel a lot of pain in the cervix if i had sex right now so something must be going on in there, whether i am sexually active or not. I cant believe i have to get a man to get something done? I voiced my concerns and he was very reluctant basically wanting me to go back to my GP who sent me to the sexual clinic in the first place. I stood my ground and said that I might not have a sex for years and if there is a cyst or other problem like that it would not be detected. when i said that he referred me for a scan. and then he said that if that comes back negative, that would be the end of it.
Surely pain is a symptom of something and they at least owe me a proper explanation of it, so how can they just let it go? i know the pain is not psychological, it is very real, not a disconfort or because i was nervous about the smear/sex. further to that i have miss periods to which he seemed to be having the same attitude, it is a psycho problem.

I have BUPA with work so I think I could make use of that after the scan, whatevet the result. well if my useless GP takes me seriously enough to refer me to a gynea rather than this clinic.
what do you think? do you think i was treated fairly or am i an hypocondriac?

sorry i wanted to make this as brief as possible.

Barbara - That was much easier to read. Didn't mean to make you feel picked on at all, but I often ignore posts that I can't make head nor tail of because they are in a large block of text. Actually it was MGR's post which made me go back and read yours (because I did think she was a little short with you (but that's all forgotten now - ok MGR).
I do think you are, at the very least entitled to be seen by a lady doctor if you want to for this kind of investigation and you could ask at your practice how to go about this. I was able to go to a different practice, for example, to have my post-natal examination because I didn't want to be examined by my male GP at the time.
I do hope some people with more experience of this might come along and have some useful advice tomorrow - just keep it bumped. I have to go to bed now, but I do hope you get things sorted out and if I get the opportunity tomorrow, I'll bump this up for you.

georginas, thats exactly it! i put up with it for 3 years because i thought that i would be treated this way. i also have other symptoms like missed periods/back pain/sleepiness that they dismiss.

Sleepiness/fatigue etc might no be related as i suffer from anxiety and depression since birth and i had a very hard time in life which has enhanced my depression and anxiety. but if i say this to doctors they will be quick to say that it is all in my head.

I have been reading my family health book and painful sex could be a symtom of some cancers som i want to rule them out or catch them early. I have a daughter's future to think about. when I mentioned cysts or tumor, gynea finally referred to the hospital for the scan.

Barbara X

Just to apologise again for making you feel picked upon.

I can't really add anything to your request for help as the girls have said everyhting I would have said.

Apologies once again, not offence meant.

Normally my posts are helpful and have been funny at times, but don't bank on it

BarbaraX, I had a similar problem many years ago, where sex became so painful that in the end my bf (now dh) and I just gave up! Eventually when I went to the family planning clinic for repeat contraception and said "I don't really know why I am here", and told them why, the doctor there was very helpful. Having had various medical problems dismissed in the past as psychosomatic, I told her I thought it must be a problem in my head, and she was really cross with me! Said before that was even contemplated they must look for a physical cause.

Anyway the long and short of it was, it turned out I had endemetriosis, which was cured with a laparoscopy, and the pain went away. It made a refreshing change to be taken seriously by a GP - up till that point I had only had very negative experiences of medical "help".

The point of all this waffle (!) really is to say that I agree with the others, you should pursue it until you get a satisfactory answer. I had dismissed my own problems as "psychosomatic" when in fact they had a physical cause,and no medical person should do that to you - they should know better!

I wish I had agood GP practice like my last one.

My GP did not want to refer me to a gynea because i refused to be examindde by him and the practice does not have a woman GP.

I did not want to be examined by a male doctor who I have never seen before as I was new to the surgery. this surgery is big, there are always with just a couple of male doctors who I cannot relate to. I feel like they have only a couple of minutes to spend with you as outside they have millions of people waiting to be seen who seems to be arguing about who is first. (no appointments system in place)

So GP sent me to family planning, where the nurse examined me first and took the swabs.

Then went back to see gynea to that same clinic for results, where the doctor was so unbealivably bad. his attitude being if you are not being sexually active there is no point in finding out more or treating.

I need at half hour to go thoru all my health problems and I keep putting them off.

I think I am going to look for a smaller surgery with a woman doctor, if there any for my post code.

what is the alternative if I cannot find one?

Endometriosis can also cause the pain you describe; infact deep pain during sex is one of the classic symptoms.

BTW are your periods very painful?. If they are then this is another possible indicator of endometriosis.

Would suggest you kick up stink and insist you are referred to a gynaecologist. If you're on BUPA they should be able to help find you someone also.

Would the nurse have been able to see endometriosis? the doctor said that the nurse report said there were no visible sign of abnormalities.

but i remember her saying that the pain I had experience during the examination was not normal!

I have a plan now after i get this scan done at the hospital. I will kick a up a stink everywhere I can. Now i know I was right to be fussy and not be treated lie a stupid woman.

why do men become gyneacologist if the care so little about us?

No I don't think they can see endometriosis from an examination. I know that they didn't know for definite if that's what was causing the pain until they did a laparoscopy - in essence it was an exploratory op, with the aim of removing any problems if they found any.

"why do men become gyneacologist if the care so little about us"

They're not all horrible - honest - the gynae I saw who finally diagnosed Vaginismus was a man - and he was lovely about it (not that I cared especially as I had 4 students in the room watching LOL)

Barbarax I think your language is a little hostile twoards your health professionals. I do appreciate that you have a serious problem that is causing you a lot of distress but using language like "demanded" "useless GP" "Kick up a stink" etc is not constructive. If you consider yourself and the health professionals you encounter parteners in solving your problem , be open to their ideas and make your own needs and expectations clear you should be taken seriously. Also you say because you feel the pain it is not psycological but real pain can have a psycological cause and can be treated so do keep an open mind. (Also re your male GP - you would be examined with a female chaperone present - though of course you can request a female to do the examination) I personally prefer female docs though my IVF consultants were male and absolute dears

Endometriosis is only diagnosed through a keyhole surgery operation called a laparoscopy. It is not readily detected through scans and blood tests.

Some GPs can be truly useless when it comes to dealing with female gynaecological problems and endometriosis is one that is often missed. As a person with endometriosis myself I have come across both very good and very ignorant GPs over the years - the most sensible GP I saw referred me to a gynae for further evaluation and the ignorant GP went on to tell me that endometriosis is not common. Actually (as I went on to point out to him) its the second most common gynae condition seen in women after fibroids.

Certainly not all gynaes are horrid - the one I saw was absolutely marvellous - and he listened to me!.

BarbaraX, we could be neighbours as I too live in Bermondsey SE1. My GP practice also doesn't have a female doctor so I wonder if it is the same one?? Anyways...

It is good that you are up to date with smears and have also had STI infections ruled out as these are important. I suspect that your problem is not related to your cervix as cervix's do not have many nerve endings and do not generally cause pain (although i bet about 10 + people will now all post back to let me know that they have had painful cervix's!!!). Is the pain you feel during sex / examinations inside your vagina or around the outside? If you had had a prolapse then the nurse should have been able to idenitfy this. FWIW, sexual health doctors and nurses need to know as much about cervix's than gynaecologists and GP's as its a very important part of the female anatomy!

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience at your sexual health clinic. It is important that you get this problem sorted out, whether or not you are sexually active at present. The ultra-sound scan should be helpful in identifying any serious concerns. The problem could also be caused by a small internal tear which has not healed properly, or you may have vaginismus which can be very painful. There are a lot of things it could be.

I would not get overly concerned with cancer diagnoses though as its much more likely to be something less serious (although I'm not dismissing how much this is affecting you IYSWIM). CAT me if you want more info and don't want to give too much detail on the forum.

why should i measure my words? at this moment in time,it is how this whole experince is making me feel. i really miss my other practice where doctors were really nice and genuinly concerned.

i dont really think all health professional or male gynea are horrid. The last thing i enjoy is kicking up a stink (i was not aware it was offensive) i thought it meant making a real fuss, infact if you knew me, you would know that i am very shy and having to do that it is making me very upset especially in a situation i feel the most vulnerable.

i think the gynea i have seen was no good and if i did no insist, and trust his judgment in this case, i would be left to suffer in silence. i really wonder why this man was in this job really.

he said: we do the scan but if nothing comes up, that will be it, we do not want to go into surgery, do we? maybe he meant that laparoscopy? he did not offer any diagnosis at all or explain what he thought was going on ! he probably thoguth that endometriosis or whatever condition i might have does not need to be treated unless i am having sex?

i have the right to know why I have this pain, don't I? i will accept it could be psychological if is properly investigated not assumed.

I will CAt hellomama later when dd is asleeep.

Barbara

Firstly, you have a right to be investigated properly for these symptoms. They could be the sign of a number of problems.

Secondly you also have a right to be examined by a dr who you feel comfortable with, whether this be a woman, or just someone with whom you feel comfortable & trust.

I was fobbed of by a number of GP's for 5 years (including one woman!!!) when I had various gynae problems, inclduing increasingly painful periods. And I mean excrutiatingly painful. Several days in bed painful.. The incorrect diagnosis I had varied from urinary tract infections to simpy that my cervix was too narrow and my painful periods would clear up once I had a baby!!!!!

After 5 years I finally went by chance to a different GP who immediately suggested I may have endometriosis. He referred me to a gynae and the gynae scanned me and said I had polycystic ovaries which would explain my very irregular periods, and probably also endometriosis.

I was then booked in for a diagnostic laparoscopy which confirmed I have endometriosis.

It is not a life threatening disease but needs to be diagnosed and treated to improve quality of life for sufferers.

Incidentally I do not suffer from pain during sex but this is a CLASSIC symptom. It does depend on the sites of the endometriosis.

I also saw the gynea under BUPA as the waiting lists on our area our long and I was covered through work.

Please go back to your GP and ask for a private referral immediately.

You should be seen within a few weeks.

HTH Good Luck!

vicdubya
thank you for this. maybe i should not wait for this scan to rule out few more possibilities, it might take ages for the hospital to call me. i could just ask to be referred to a bupa approved consultant to start with

maybe I should just go back to my GP anyway to discuss. well i am new ot the practice. i could try another GP from the same practice

Well I told my gynae (female, and undoubtedly one of the best in the country) about my severe ovulation pain and she (very kindly and sympathetically) dismissed it.

I therefore put up with it, like a good girl, thinking it must be 'normal'.

I only found out that I had endometriosis when it was so bad that I needed a total hysterectomy.

I will never know if timely treatment would have prevented my secondary infertility but my daughter is now irrevocably an only child and I am ...to be honest... bitter.

I've also had vaginismus which I know for certain was psychosomatic and was every bit as painful.

But my message is - if you have a bad pain, don't put up and shut up. I wish I had made a great big fuss. It's not in my nature to make a fuss, I would have felt bad about it - but surely not as bad as I feel now, when it's too late.

Sorry to sound so negative. There is excellent and effective treatment for endometriosis, vaginismus and other causes of pelvic pain. You have every reason to be optimistic so long as you pursue this until you get a satisfactory answer.

All the best

BarbaraX, as you are in London, you could be referred to Mr Peter Kass (or Cass?) who is a fantastic gyneacologist. His tel no is 7 935 7341. I don't know of any female gyneas I'm afraid.
Good luck.

BarbaraX sorry i haven't been back - not much time on the web at the mo. Hope you're doing OK and will update us with any progress.