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Original poster

Pain when havin sex after baby

7 replies

MumtoEliane · 27/12/2009 18:48

I wasn't sure where to post this, but hey is about health after all.

So as I said, my baby is almost 11 weeks, and I feel pain when having sex. I had a pretty big apisiotomy as DD came with forceps, and we waited 8 weeks before trying.

I feel very embarrased asking my doctor because I think he is pretty useless, on my 8 week check up he just sat there and asked me how I felt, and I just felt embarrased!

I am quite upset about this! Anyone felt the same or knows if its normal and when the pain will go?

I am spanish and going home in February so I might visit a private ginecologyst there, we don't have them here where I live now.

OP posts:

CurlyhairedAssassin · 27/12/2009 19:55

I was the same after episiotomy with DS1. Sorry to say but it took months for it to feel comfortable again during sex and even then it felt a bit too tight if you see what I mean. DH had to be very gentle and take things slow, even after months. The worst bit was always at the beginning - after a minute or two it was a bit more comfortable. I think I was stitched up a bit too tightly, I'm not sure though, it's just what I felt happened. Doctor stitched me up, not a midwife.

But to be honest, it was only after having DS2 2 years later that things went back to normal. He was a normal delivery, with just a couple of stitches, done by a midwife, afterwards. Going through that second birth seemed to loosen it all up again!!!

notnowbernard · 27/12/2009 19:57

I had a 2nd degree tear and stitches after both DC

Sex didn't feel completely back to normal until about 8m later for me

winnybella · 27/12/2009 20:06

It will take a few months but it will get better. Use lots of lubricant for now.

WingedVictory · 27/12/2009 20:15

Don't just leave it. Do talk to someone, even if you do it with a gynaecologist when you get home. There are loads of mess-ups with stitches (at least three that I know of in our ante-natal group, and I was one), and it is not something you just have to put up with.

I got a referral for a gynaecologist at the hospital where it happened, and he was bloody useless, just didn't seem to care at all.

Eventually, I went to one of the GPs at our surgery (her profile showed experience of women's health) and asked her to have a look and tell me what I could do about it. As my stitches came out (meaning I am looser in places than I should be - sorry if too much information! - and there is a lump where a slipped stitch healed again), I can afford to wait until another child and then get it dealt with properly. However, if you are too tight, you should get it seen to as soon as possible.

Please don't be embarrassed; someone made a mistake, and you should not be embarassed to say something about how uncomfortable you are.

Good luck! (oh, and does your partner/husband know about this? Make sure he does, so he will treat you sympathetically)

Original poster

MumtoEliane · 27/12/2009 21:37

Thank you! I am actually glad to hear that it takes longer to feel ok as it means the pain is normal, I guess? My partner knows and he is brill, its just that we are really happy and close now, its a shame... you know what I mean

But as you say Winged, it is worth a check and see if everything is ok. I am not sure if it is tight, just a bit sore like "stingy". But defo will go to the gyne.

Thanks a lot! I am a bit less worried

OP posts:

NancysGarden · 27/12/2009 22:01

I'm sorry you're having pain MumtoEliane, but I think it sounds fairly normal, time will help. I hope you don't think I'm hijacking and I tried to name-change as am slightly embarrassed but can;'t remember password so will just go for it. I wanted to post as the "use lots of lubricant" comment caught my eye. My DD is 3 and I still have to use lubricant. I am 32, she is my first and although there is no pain (hasn't been for a very, very long time: I also had an assisted delivery etc etc). Thing is, before LO I had never used it, never needed to even slightly. But now...
Does anyone know is this it now?

Good luck MTE, I'm sure the pain will ease soon and don't neglect your other less painful erogenous zones

Original poster

MumtoEliane · 28/12/2009 20:35

Hi NG, don't worry about hijacking the thread, my question was answered.

I can't help about your query, I had to use it sometimes before, and use it now. Hopefully someone might answer, or you can type something similar in google, you might find the subject somewhere, that's how I found this site!

OP posts:

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