Share your stories of first-aid or medical twattishness at home. I thought it was a good idea to tape a Lysol Antibacterial Wipe over an infected cut on my leg. It wasn't.

[Jacksmama]

I am, obviously, a twat .

I tripped and gouged my shin a week ago. Put a bandage and antibacterial ointment on it, and two days later it was covered with a green gooey scab. [ewwwww]
Kept putting on anti-bac ointment, washed it carefully, dabbed it with alcohol - to no avail.

Then, last night, I had the brilliant idea to fold up one of those Lysol Antibacterial Wipes (which are meant for use on kitchen counters etc) and tape it over the cut and leave it overnight a few hours.

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad idea.

It essentially caused a chemical burn and was enormously swollen and deep red around the (still infected) cut.

Cue my (otherwise lovely) GP laughing heartlessly hysterically when I limped in to see her today. This was after the horrified gasp at the huge ring of red surrounding this extremely icky cut. After I assured her I did not have either flesh-eating strep or septicaemia, I explained my twattishness reasoning. She was still laughing when she handed my a prescription for oral antibiotics and something to soothe the irritation.

I am an idiot.

Come make me feel better and tell me what first aid idiocies you've committed.

You are indeed as you say a twat

I on the other hand have never done anything so twatish...hmm excpet perhaps taking a nail file to a broken tooth because I was too scared to go to the dentist...is that twatish enough?

Hope you're feelin better

Nope, sorry. I have committed no first aid sins that would make you feel better.

Sounds painful. Have a and a cup of tea, keep that leg up.

I think that scrapes are better left alone, btw. They need to dry out.

Being a nurse i should know better but......

I have taken out my own stitches in the bath, when a bit pissed, then wondered what to do when the hole wasn't healed.

I have tried very unsuccessfully to remove skin tags with a variety of methods - causing nasty infection.

DH has also done twattish medical home surgery things including,

Putting a whole clove of garlic (overnight) on a wart - causing huge burns. he read it on the internet so it had to be true. apparantly.

Refusing to go to the Dr after falling off a cliff and scraping all the skin off his arm, he covered it in loo roll and cling film and thought that would make it better. (i wasn't there for that one but had to pick the bits out when he got home)

Twats.

You wally!

I recently squirted an entire capsule of Karvol into my eye.

Pain upon pain upon pain.

I was rancid with cold and had managed to get myself into the bath when I thought what a good idea it would be to put a Karvol into the hot water to breath in with the steam. Soggy fingers. Fumbling. Popped it and the whole thing jet squirted into my eye.

I thought I'd blinded myself.

I screamed for dh and plunged my head under the bathwater to try and rinse my eye.

Dh arrived and in between plunges I tried to explain what had happened and where the eye bath was kept.

[Plunge]
[Gasp]
[Wail in pain]
Ineedaneyebath... somethingin myeye!!
[Plunge]
[Gasp]
[Sob]
Topofthewardrobe! Inthepinkbox...
[Plunge]
Notyourwardrobe... mywardrobe!
[Plunge]
[Shriek]
NothePINKbox! Eyebath! Ohmygodquickly!
[Plunge]
[Gasp]
[Drown]
[Plunge]
[Choke]
[Sob]

Dh thoughtfully observed that actually all that plunging into the hot bathwater was just activating the fumey mentoliptus stingy stuff in my eye.

Loo roll and cling film... why??? Eccentrica, your DH is a bigger twat than I am